wanted to have us anyway and started tightening the purse strings. It's her fault my daughter is a lesbian. Mother made our lives hell. All that money and she was not going to leave us anything. She had to be stopped'
'What about poor old Fred Instick?' asked Agatha.
'I poisoned one of those bottles in the hope that one of the village people would steal it. Then it would look as if someone outside the family had it in for all of us. It was a justified crime. Fred was old, anyway.'
'Did any of the others know you murdered your mother?' asked Agatha.
'Them? Rabbits, all of them. I suggested it and they all bleated, 'Don't even think about it.' Fools. She had made them suffer and yet they wouldn't do anything about it. Do you know why she kept having children? Father wanted to leave her. Every time he made a move, she'd contrive to get pregnant again. Wouldn't surprise me if at least one of us is a bastard.'
They could hear the sound of approaching sirens. Fran lapsed into glassy-eyed silence. Fran was formally charged and led away while Agatha braced herself for a long night of questioning.
Bill Wong was waylaid the following day by Detective Sergeant Collins.
Agatha, in a rare burst of generosity because Bill had saved her, had credited him with helping her solve the mystery. 'Getting kudos all round,' sneered Collins. 'I heard that Raisin woman's tape. Talk about gifted amateurs. You had sod all to do with it. I'm getting a transfer to the Met.'
'Don't invite me to your farewell party,' said Bill over his shoulder as he walked off. He had tried to say that discovering the murderer had been all Agatha's work, but his bosses, ever mindful of the press, preferred to give him the credit. Also they felt that Agatha's mad guesswork would not be believed. They made it look as if Bill had arrived at the solution by methodical police work, particularly as a small bottle of distilled hemlock had been found in Fran's kitchen, marked 'Cough Syrup'.
Sir Charles Fraith learned about the solving of the murder on television and deeply regretted abandoning Agatha to go off chasing after Sasha, the psychiatrist's carer.
He decided that for once it might be a good idea to give Agatha a really good Christmas present. He phoned Roy Silver. After listening to Roy excitedly chattering on about the murder case and saying that although Bill Wong got the credit, he was sure it was all Agatha's doing, Charles asked him if he had any idea what Agatha might like for Christmas.
After various suggestions such as a new watch, an evening gown, lingerie, Charles said, 'Look, I'll take a trip up to London and maybe we can go round the shops together.'
'I was supposed to be out at a photo shoot this afternoon,' said Roy, 'but it's been cancelled, so I was going to sneak the afternoon off.'
'Where do you live?'
Roy gave Charles an address in Fulham. 'I'll set off now and pick you up.'
But seeing things in the shops did not seem to make a choice easier. They decided to go to a bar in Jermyn Street and think it over.
'I'm intimidated by this famous dinner of hers,' said Charles. 'She wants it to be so perfect. Agatha's going to such a lot of expense--new oven, chef, caterers. She'll probably spend a fortune on decorations. She even thinks, I'm sure, that in the middle of global warming, it'll snow.'
'That's it!' screeched Roy. 'Brilliant!'
'What's brilliant?'
'We'll rent a snow machine, a real movie one. She plans to have tables from the dining room through to the sitting room. She'll be at the head of the table in the dining room. I'll nip out into the road just as the turkey is being brought in. You can blow a whistle,' said Roy, jiggling up and down in his seat with excitement. 'You say, 'Look out of the window,' and, bam, I'll switch on the machine.'
'You mean give her a white Christmas?'
'Exactly. We'll share the cost.'
'She'll think we're awfully mean when we arrive without presents. Oh, damn, I've just remembered something. We needn't have bothered'
'Why?'
'Because I've got my invitation already and it says, 'No Presents.' What a waste of a day.'
Roy stared at Charles, an unusually militant gleam in his eye. 'It doesn't make any difference. She's our friend. I drop in at weekends, you use her cottage like a hotel, so it's payback time. Don't be so mean. She's going to have snow.'
'Oh, very well,' said Charles. 'It can't go wrong, can it!'
'It'll be perfect.'
Alison called on Agatha at her office that afternoon, just as Agatha was thinking of closing up for the day.
'They are all devastated at the news about Fran,' she said. 'Bert's beginning to come round. I pointed out to him that if that clever detective hadn't solved it, we'd all be under suspicion until the end of our days.'
Agatha Raisin could not allow that to pass. 'I let Bill take the credit,' she said, 'but it was me.'
'How did you suddenly decide it was Fran?'
Agatha told her.
'And it's bound to come out in court that it was me,' said Agatha, 'because they need to produce that toothpaste as evidence, among other things.'
'Haven't you heard? There isn't going to be a court case.'
'Why?'
'Fran's dead.'
'Did she poison herself?'
'No, she died of a massive heart attack.'
'Snakes and bastards,' muttered Agatha. She had been regretting letting Bill take all the credit and was looking forward to her day in court.
'I'll settle up my bill with you,' said Alison.
'Mrs Freedman's gone home. I'll get it sent to you tomorrow. Do you know, Phil Marshall got me to consult a police psychiatrist, a retired one, and the old boy told me Phyllis had committed suicide in such a way as to bring misery on her children. He's just sent me his bill. Eight hundred pounds. Cheeky old sod. He can sue me for it.'
Next day, Toni arrived outside her flat to find George Pyson waiting for her. 'Thought you might like to come for a drink,' he said.
Toni agreed nervously. He must be keen on me, she thought. He hasn't made a move, but if he does, then what do I do? I owe him so much.
But George was his usual amiable self. It turned out he wanted to know all about Fran.
Toni told him all that Agatha had described to her in the office after Fran was arrested.
'It was on the news,' said George. 'Fran had a massive heart attack and died.'
'Pity,' said Toni. 'I know Agatha was looking forward to her day in court.'
'Why?'
'She let Bill Wong take all the credit but it would have come out in the evidence in court that it was she who solved the whole thing.'
'Strange woman,' mused George. 'Agatha, I mean. The way she crashes around, one wouldn't credit her with having one intuitive thought.'
'She's very kind and generous. She's done a lot for me. You've done a lot for me. I don't know how I can ever thank you, George.'
'You can thank me by forgetting about the whole thing. Managing things is my job and my weakness is managing other people's affairs.'
A youth stopped at their table. He had gelled hair, a weak white face and was dressed in a denim jacket and torn jeans. 'Hiya, Tone,' he said.
'This is Pete Ericson,' said Toni, introducing him to George. 'We were at school together.'
