Ashleigh looked at Kevin. They made eye contact, and he understood. “Anyway,” he said, “we don’t have to talk about all this.”
“No, of course not,” Kelcey said. “Of course not. Unless Ash wants to talk about it, and then we’d all listen, wouldn’t we? I mean, it’s cool whatever you want to do. I think if I had a big tragedy in my family I’d want to talk about it.”
Sarah shrugged and Todd nodded.
“Kelcey?” Ashleigh said. “Do you pay any attention in school?”
“What?”
“I said, do you pay any fucking attention in school?”
“Ash-” Kevin said.
“It’s a question,” Ashleigh said. “Just a question.”
Kelcey sat there with her mouth half open, the fillings in her back teeth smaller but still visible.
“I pay attention,” Kelcey said.
“If you did, instead of sitting there texting or chewing gum or twirling your hair with your finger, you’d know that someone dying isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy is when a noble character falls as the result of a fatal flaw. It provides catharsis and pleasure to the audience to watch it happen. Do you feel catharsis or pleasure reading about my family?”
“Come on, Ash-” Kevin placed his hand on Ashleigh’s arm, calming her down and leading her away.
“Fuck you, Ashleigh,” Kelcey said. “God. We’re just trying to be nice and ask about your family. But if you want to keep being the little moody girl, go ahead.”
“I can be the moody girl and you can be the dumb girl-”
By then, Kevin was applying more force, guiding her away from the baseball diamond and out of the park. She let herself be led because she realized she’d finally get to talk to Kevin alone.
They walked out of the park side by side. They didn’t talk to each other. Ashleigh kept her head down, her hands in the sweatshirt pockets. She didn’t look at Kevin but felt him by her side, a solid, reassuring presence. She didn’t pay attention to where they headed, didn’t care. She felt the anger at Kelcey-and all the stupid people she knew-course through her body. She hoped the walk would cool things down, let the steam of her rage dissipate.
When she looked up again, they were at Clark Street Junior High, the place where Ashleigh and Kevin had first met before they’d moved on to high school together. They still didn’t speak. They knew where to go without words, so they walked to the side of the school building and over to the old playground. Ashleigh went right for the swing sets, with Kevin following, and they sat next to each other, each on their own swing.
After a long few moments, Ashleigh spoke. “You look like an idiot, you know that?”
The swing was too small and too low to the ground for Kevin. It forced his knees up high, making him look like some kind of contortionist. “No,” he said. “I’m cool.” He spread his arms wide. “Look at me, I’m cool.”
Ashleigh swung a little, a gentle back and forth. “Don’t tell me I shouldn’t have yelled at Kelcey,” she said. “I know you want to tell me that, so just don’t.”
“I won’t.”
“She’s a fucking airhead.”
“I know. But in her own way, she was trying to act concerned.”
“I thought I said not to tell me that.”
But she wasn’t really mad. The anger-at least at Kelcey-was gone. Ashleigh continued to rock. She looked at the old school building, the dirty bricks, the huge windows. It seemed so long ago that she was a student there, even though it had been just over a year.
“What are you so pissed about?” Kevin asked.
“I’m not pissed,” she said.
“That wasn’t pissed?”
“I mean I’m not really mad about that.” Ashleigh slowed her movement on the swing. She scraped her feet against the ground, felt the bark and twigs against her feet. “I’m mad at my mom and grandpa. But that’s not really bothering me either. I just wanted to tell you something. I’m not mad. I just wanted to talk.”
“What’s up then?” Kevin asked.
But Ashleigh didn’t feel ready to talk. Not about all of that-her uncle, the murder. The man in the woods. Not yet.
“Do you remember playing kickball and dodgeball here?” she asked.
“Sure. It was kind of fun.”
“I hated it,” Ashleigh said.
Kevin laughed.
“Seriously, I hated it,” she said. “I thought nothing would ever be worse than being in grade school or junior high and having to do what everybody told me to do. I couldn’t wait to get to high school, you know? I thought I’d be a grown-up then.”
“Are you a grown-up?”
“No. Things are just as bad. And now I can’t wait to graduate and go to college.”
“The grass is always greener,” Kevin said. “But aren’t we supposed to be happy and carefree? Aren’t these the best years of our lives?”
“Right,” Ashleigh said. She kicked at the dirt, then made a circular pattern with her foot. She knew Kevin was watching her. She felt his eyes on her even when she wasn’t looking at him. “The other day when you got off the bus, I went on to the park.”
“I figured you were headed there, that you were in the mood to be there.”
“Something happened.”
Kevin looked concerned. Protective. “What happened?”
“I saw someone.”
“Who, Ashleigh?”
She didn’t answer right away.
“Who did you see?” Kevin asked.
“Dante Rogers. The guy who killed my uncle.”
“He was in the park?”
“He wasn’t just in the park. He was at the place where they found my uncle’s body. He was right there.”
“He was there when you were there? Just the two of you in the middle of the woods?”
“Yes.”
“Were you scared?”
Ashleigh thought about the question before she answered. “Not scared. Uneasy, I guess.”
“What the hell was he doing there?” Kevin asked.
“He was just standing there. He came walking up, and he looked surprised to see me, like he’d been there before and was always alone.”
“Did you talk to him?”
“I tried.” Ashleigh thought back to the scene in the clearing, the way Dante just ran away from her, as though she had something wrong with her. “He bolted. As soon as I went toward him, he ran.”
“He didn’t say anything?”
Ashleigh shook her head. The sun had fallen farther, and near the low ground beneath the hedge that separated the school from the road, fireflies began to blink on and off.
“He held his hands out,” Ashleigh said. “He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. He looked scared, I guess.”
“Weird.”
“Why would he go there?” Ashleigh asked.
Kevin shrugged. “Maybe he’s been going to that spot in the woods ever since he got out.”
“But if you go to the place where you supposedly murdered someone, doesn’t it mean you’re guilty?”
“If you’re going there and no one’s making you go there, yes, it does suggest guilt.”
Ashleigh didn’t say anything else, but she again felt Kevin staring at her. Studying her.
“Ash, why do you care about that? Wouldn’t you be happy to know that Dante really killed your uncle? It
