reenactment of
To his relief, the cat did not struggle, hiss, fight, claw, or otherwise express her objections. Ben shoved the flashlight into his jacket, then scooped Margery into his arms. He was almost back up and running when he heard the rhythmic
He didn’t have to be a detective to know he was not alone. And he didn’t have to be a weapons expert to know he had just heard someone cock a shotgun.
“All right, mister.” A cranky, nasal voice emerged from the darkness. “Turn around slow and easy. And keep your hands up in the air where I can see them.”
Ben raised his hands. As he did so, Margery jumped down. She skittered across the floor, returned to her comfortable cushioned bed on the floor, snuggled her head into her paws, and closed her eyes. It would seem Margery knew when to abandon ship. “Ingrate,” Ben murmured.
“All right,” barked the voice in the darkness. “Keep your hands in the air and move!”
Chapter 2
When at last the Honorable Judge Tyrone J. Pickens entered his courtroom, he looked as if he was suffering the ill effects of a singularly hard night. Perhaps several hard nights. On closer examination, Ben thought, perhaps years of hard nights.
Pickens’s craggy face was speckled and ruddy, his nose shiny. His black-rimmed glasses seemed to be in constant motion, on, then off, on, then off. His posture was slumped and his expression was grim. He looked as if he would rather be anywhere else on earth.
Of course, Ben could sympathize with that. He would also rather be anywhere else. But here he was standing in the Magic Valley county courthouse. Handcuffed to the sheriff.
Judge Pickens rifled through the papers on his desk. “Looks like we got us a breaking and entering, is that it?”
The woman up at the bench, who Ben gathered was the district attorney, nodded.
“Great,” the judge murmured. “Just great. First good fishing day in months, and I’ve got me a goddamn breaking and entering. How many days to try this sucker?”
The bailiff standing dutifully to the judge’s side cleared his throat. “This is just an arraignment, your honor.”
Pickens’s face brightened. “An arraignment? Hot damn. We can whip through this sucker in two minutes.” He pointed his gavel in Ben’s direction. “You the perp?”
Ben cleared his throat. “I’m the accused, yes, your honor.”
“You got a lawyer?” He gave Ben the once-over. “No, I suppose you’ll be wanting us to appoint one.”
“Actually, I am a lawyer.”
The judge did a double take. “You sure about that? You ain’t exactly dressed for court.”
“The sheriff didn’t give me a chance to change before hauling me to the county jail.”
“Oh, I get it. You’re the perp and the lawyer.”
Ben nodded. “That’s it.”
“You gonna represent yourself? That would probably be a big mistake, you know.”
Thank you very much, Ben thought. “I will for now, at any rate.”
“Suit yourself.” He recalibrated his gavel toward the other table. “Granny, whatcha got on this man?”
Ben’s eyes crinkled. Granny? As far as he could tell, the woman standing before the judge was in her late twenties, tops. She had a perfect hourglass figure and rich, full chestnut-brown hair that swished engagingly across her clavicle with every step she took. She was not tall, but everything she had was jam-packed into a package that Ben was having a hard time keeping his eyes off.
“Your honor,” she explained, “the accused was apprehended down at Fred Franklin’s bookstore this morning about three A.M.”
Judge Pickens began scribbling notes. “What was he after? Cash?”
“According to him, all he wanted was Fred’s cat.”
Pickens raised his glasses. “His
“That’s his story. Had his own lockpick he used to get in. He was a pro.”
The judge smiled. “I guess that makes him a professional cat burglar. Literally.” Pickens slapped his knee and let loose with a ripsnorter of a laugh, then leaned back and wiped his eyes. “But seriously, is attempted cat theft a crime?”
“Breaking and entering is.”
Ben stepped forward, as best he could while still handcuffed to the sheriff. “Your honor, could I please explain?”
Pickens didn’t look up. “No.”
“But I think I could clear-”
Pickens cut him off. “You will remain silent until such time as I ask you to plead, got it?”
Ben complied.
Judge Pickens returned his attention to the prosecutor. “So, Granny, this guy got any priors?”
She nodded. “I ran some checks this morning. Turns out he was arrested once before in Arkansas for brawling in a bar.”
Pickens scrutinized Ben’s thin frame. “This guy?”
“It’s on his record. Tell you what else I found out. He really is a lawyer. And he often works for something called the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Our Other-Than-Human Neighbors. Some kind of animal rights terrorist group.”
Ben couldn’t remain silent. “
“The accused is believed to have participated in any number of break-ins and underground activities, many of them masterminded by this animal rights group.”
The judge’s teeth clenched up. “Go on.”
“According to the court records, the accused represented this group in twenty-seven different cases in one year alone.”
Ben pressed forward. “They were my only client!”
Pickens ignored him. “Recommendations, Granny?”
“I think we’ve got enough trouble right now from political extremists without letting another one loose on the streets.”
“I agree.” Judge Pickens pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “The court hereby finds sufficient cause to bind the defendant over on the charge of breaking and entering. Bail is set for fifty thousand dollars.”
Ben jumped out of his chair. “Fifty thousand dollars? For a catnapping?”
“If you can make bail,” the judge explained, “you may pay it to the clerk of the court on your way out.”
“Are you kidding? I can’t even come close!”
“In which case I hope you like prison food, because you’re going to be getting a lot of it.” He pounded his gavel. “Court is out of session.”
“But wait! I haven’t even-”
The sheriff laid his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Don’t bother. It’s over.”
Ben saw that the judge was already off the bench. A second later, he was out of the courtroom. And a second after that, Ben presumed, he was stepping into his fishing waders.
Ben peered pleadingly at the sheriff. “It was just a cat!”
The sheriff nodded as he tugged on Ben’s cuffs and led him toward the back of the courtroom. “That’s what they all say.”
