Skin Deep

hostile.”

“Which he resolves by killing.”

“Yes.”

“So you’re saying the killer may recognize something in the victim—maybe his mother, girlfriend, whatever, who possibly abused and abandoned him.”

“Yes, and here’s the Freudian in me. Let’s say the victim’s sexuality reminds him of dear old Mom. In killing her he resolves oedipal conflicts and incest taboos.”

“If it’s Pendergast, what about the lack of violence in his other offenses?”

Jackie looked at the photograph. “Maybe this is the first one who comes close to Mom or whoever the love original is.”

Steve’s mouth felt full of sawdust, and he guzzled the rest of his coffee. “The suspect was on antianxiety meds. There’s also evidence that he drank alcohol when he visited the vic.” He was startled by his own disingenuous use of the depersonalizing shorthand. “Could the combination have triggered the rage?”

“What were the meds?”

“Ativan.”

“Brand name of Lorazepam. If he’s susceptible to it, absolutely. And if he’s a bad drunk, the alcohol alone could have triggered an explosive fit.”

Steve nodded. “He claims he was at home the night of the murder. Is it possible the combination with booze could also have blotted out his memory of the murder?”

“Absolutely. In fact, Lorazepam is the drug of choice of the CIA for use on suspected terrorists. It destroys their memory of interrogation techniques—what we mere mortals call torture. If a high- enough dosage of Ativan and alcohol doesn’t kill you, it can make you forget your killing someone else.”

41

She could barely believe it. Dr. Monks had called her that Sunday morning to see how she was doing. Perhaps it was standard patient care with him, but she could not help but feel flattered.

Just last week he was interviewed in Newsweek about breakthroughs in face transplants—how he and a team of other surgeons had used MRI imaging to distinguish bone from muscle so that computer programs could assist surgeons in eliminating a major technical and psychological concern—patients looking different from the way they did before disfigurement. The new techniques allowed them to determine the precise amount of underlying fat and muscle to remove from donor cadavers to transplant with blood vessels and skin. So far three overseas patients had undergone successful facial transplants. Likewise, new strategies to combat immunosuppression were proving successful enough to outweigh the risks.

The media had cited him as a world expert, yet on the phone he was the modest friendly man she had come to know. He was pleased to hear that the discomfort was less than she had anticipated. He reminded her to sit up and use a cold compress for the bruising. She said that she was doing all that, and he approved to her delight. “Good for you. I wish all my patients were like you.”

Then he told her to take Vicodin for discomfort. Also no heavy activities for a week, no driving, no exercises, and no sexual activities. The last words hummed in the open telephone line for an awkward moment, which she quickly filled with, “Of course not.” And she wondered at the force of her promise, hoping that he was hearing the pledge of a good patient and not the assurance that she was in complete estrangement from Steve yet available at a later date.

He went on to remind her that if she went out she should wear sunglasses to protect her skin and to hide the bruises that would peak in two days. Before he hung up, he said he would like to see her on Wednesday to remove the stitches.

She said, “Fine,” thinking how she could barely wait.

42

When Steve left Jackie’s office, he headed to Carleton to give Dana his last paycheck to help cover her cosmetic procedures. As it was the weekend, she had asked if he could drop it off instead of mailing it. By the time he pulled onto their street, he wasn’t sure why he didn’t call ahead. He wasn’t sure why he did or didn’t do a lot of things of late. It was as if he had become a stranger to himself.

He had counted on Dana being at home. Yet he had not counted on her having company. Sitting in the driveway was a gold Lexus SUV that he did not recognize.

He turned off the headlights and sat behind the wheel, wondering what to do. A year ago, it would have been unthinkable that he’d feel like an intruder in his own home, in his own marriage. Yet tonight he was pretend-married and Dana was pretend-divorced and entertaining another guy. And here he was dropping off a check to help grease her success. Hey, pal, you familiar with the term sap?

Steve knew in his heart of hearts that he should just leave. Put the check in the mailbox and head home. Or drop it off tomorrow morning so she could deposit it. If Dana had male company, she’d be rightfully upset at his appearance.

Worse, he really couldn’t predict how he’d react. They were estranged, and in their separation Dana had a right to date. But the thought of her desirous of another man was like an ice pick in his chest.

As he put the car in reverse, the front door opened and Dana’s silhouette filled the frame. She recognized his car and stood watching him. If she wanted him to leave, she would have closed the door. Instead, she opened the screen door and waved him up.

He pulled behind the Lexus, thinking that maybe this was the official turning point: that she would introduce him to the guy she was dating—get it out in the open as the next step toward divorce.

As he gathered the check from his briefcase, all he could think was that he didn’t want to lay eyes on the guy. Didn’t want to know who he was. Didn’t know if he could maintain civility. Before he got out, he removed his service weapon and locked it in the glove compartment.

When he reached the door she let him in. “Jesus!” he said as he stepped into the foyer.

“It looks worse than it is.”

Dana’s eyes were swollen and bruised red and purple. And for an instant all he saw was the dead cyanotic head of Terry Farina. “What the hell happened?”

“I had an upper lid lift.”

“Did he do it with a hammer?”

She smiled. “The bruising’s natural and will be gone in a few days.”

“You going to go to school like that?”

“I’ll cover it with makeup. Besides, there are only two days left of classes. Want to come in?”

“Only if I’m interrupting something.” He handed her the check.

She led him into the kitchen and toward the family room. He followed her, sensing another’s presence and steeling himself for a face-off with some guy he’d prefer to kick in the groin than shake hands with. But sitting on the couch was Lanie Walker, and he felt a cool rush. “Good to see you, Lanie.” Which was never so true. Lanie was a close friend of Dana’s, supportive and amusing at times. But she was also nosy and officious.

“Good to see you, too. How you doin’?” She was drinking a glass of white wine.

She knew perfectly well how he was doing. “Just dandy.”

“Would you like something—Coke or juice?” Dana asked.

“I’m fine.” Dana returned to the couch. “I thought you were only going for the Botox.”

“We talked it over and agreed that it was a good idea to get the lids done.”

“You mean his next Mercedes payment is due.”