Killing Fear

“I–I can’t think about Anna right now. It’s hard for me to accept. I just-” She swallowed, unable to get her thoughts to come out right.

Will was so close, his face inches from Robin’s. “I understand,” he whispered. “I hate it. That I might have made mistakes in the investigation, that I didn’t think anything of that page from your home number, that I might have been able to save Anna-”

“Or be killed.”

He kissed her lightly. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you. God, Robin, I-”

He dropped to his knees, his mouth skimming her clothing. He looked down at the floor, then up at her.

“Will-”

“I need you to forgive me, Robin.” His arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her stomach. “I was so wrong, I made a mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll apologize every day for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to get you back-”

“No-” she whispered.

He cut her off. “I’ve missed you. I think about you every night. I’ve lived with this deep regret for too long. I threw you away, I didn’t know what a precious gem I had in my hands.”

“Oh, Will, don’t-”

“I have to make you understand. I need you to understand.”

Robin fell to her knees so that they were face-to-face. She kissed him. She didn’t want to hear him say I love you. Not now, not like this. Not when she didn’t know if she could believe him, if the words would be spoken out of guilt or regret.

She’d never stopped loving him, but forgiveness was so hard for her. The pain twisted in her heart, the love and the hurt entwined.

Robin wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him close to her, at first taste remembering the passion and discovery they’d enjoyed when they first met. She’d missed him, missed the intimacy and intensity that she’d never had with any other man. She didn’t need to lead or follow, she didn’t need to direct or act. With Will she was herself, giving fully, receiving fully, her glorious potential exposed, bringing the best out of Will and he drawing the best out of her.

He moaned into her mouth and she swallowed his desire. Her hands worked on his buttons, frantic now. Not wanting to wait to remember everything they’d had. She pushed off his shirt, pulling his undershirt out of his Dockers, his chest hot to the touch. Her mouth moved from his lips to his chest, her tongue swirling around his nipples as she pushed him back to the floor.

This was how she remembered Will. The heat and excitement and heavy desire. No waiting, no holding back. All of him, right now. His hands were under her shirt, his fingers unsnapping her bra with a flick of his wrist. Then his hands on her breasts, kneading, pulling, pushing, making every cell in her body throb for more.

She licked him, all the way down his chest, to his navel. Her fingers popped open his button fly and freed him, but she didn’t stop. She pulled his slacks off, jerking his shoes off at the same time.

“Come here, Robin.” Will’s voice was thick and deep.

As she trailed wet kisses up his body, his hands grabbed her arms and pulled her up so she lay on top of him. When he kissed her this time, her breath disappeared. Will rolled over, covered her body with his, his kisses going deeper, harder, more fierce as they tried to get even closer. His hands gripped her hair as their bodies moved together; her hands couldn’t stop. It had been so long, too long, since they’d touched, kissed, held each other skin to skin.

“Take. Off. My shirt.” Robin could barely catch her breath, Will had intoxicated her.

He leaned up just enough to pull her T-shirt over her head and she tossed her bra across the room. Then their chests touched and she moaned, grabbed Will and brought him back down to her, her long jean-clad legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth finding his, the roughness of his nighttime stubble arousing her as much as his tongue dueling with hers. His mouth moved to her neck and suckled, biting her lightly, then to her shoulder, down to her breast where he took as much into his mouth as possible, the suction causing her to gasp and arch her back. His hand found the other breast where he massaged, until he switched sides, the exquisite pleasure with a touch of pain, just enough to make it real, to make her regret walking out seven years ago. To make her yearn for the past and crave the future.

“Will.” She said his name on a wisp of a breath, all her feelings and energy focused on the intensity of attention he paid to her chest. Only Will could turn her on so quickly, make her abandon all thought of patience and drawn-out lovemaking. She wanted him all, right now, and later. “God, Will.”

She used all her muscles to push him off and over, rolling on top of him, moving her pelvis into his hard erection. She sat on him, his hands on her butt, squeezing, massaging her, as her hands rubbed his hard chest, trying and failing to slow her racing heart. Will’s heart raced with her, she felt it under his skin, thump thump thump, pounding against her hand. She kissed it, drawing his nipple into her mouth and biting lightly until he groaned. His hands fumbled with her jeans and she moved to the other nipple, not being gentle anymore, his rough hands pushing down her jeans, kneading her, pulling her toward him before she could pull the jeans off. They tangled around her ankles.

“I need you, Will. Right now. Take me away. Like the first time. Like the last time.”

Will rolled back on top, unmindful that they had moved halfway across the living room in their urgency. He jerked off Robin’s jeans, her long dancer’s legs smooth and soft under his hands. She was the most beautiful woman in the world with the finest body. He remembered every inch of her peaches and cream skin, the light covering of freckles on her shoulders, the mole on the inside of her left thigh. He kissed it and she spread her legs, writhing beneath him, needing him as much as he craved her.

“I’ve missed you, Robin.” He kissed the inside of her right thigh, then licked all the way to her lush, round breasts, red from his earlier assault. She held his head to them and he took each into his mouth in turn. Her hands found his erect cock and he groaned as she squeezed.

“Now,” she said. “I’m serious.”

Without giving him time to position himself, she rolled him again. He loved how physical Robin was, how hard she pushed him, how hard she pushed herself. She straddled him and in one thrust slid onto him, hot and wet and ready.

She gasped, and he felt her tightness.

“Robin,” he began, then she moved her hips and he couldn’t speak.

He pulled her to him, chest to chest, to kiss her, their tongues mimicking their lovemaking. Fast and frantic, in and out, no waiting to catch a breath. Their desire and urgency created a thick layer of sweat, bodies hot and slick, sliding together, a perfect fit.

Will rolled her back and they slammed against the couch. Her strong legs wrapped around his waist, giving him deeper access. She gasped beneath him, the slender muscles straining in her neck as her orgasm bubbled to the surface.

One look at Robin’s face and he couldn’t hold back. He pushed into her and released, feeling her muscles tighten around him as they came together. He collapsed onto her, kissing her neck, her ears, tasting the salty slickness of her skin.

Before she could pull away, Will gathered her into his arms, picked her up, and carried her to bed.

“Now we’re going to do this right,” he said.

“That was pretty all right to me,” Robin said, kissing him.

“Slower, Robin. I’m going to kiss every inch of your flesh. I’m going to taste every part of your body.” He stared into her eyes, greener and darker in their lust. “I’m hungry for you, Robin. I’ve been starving for you for seven years.”

Before she could protest, or argue, or remember why she’d been angry with him-rightful or not-his lips found hers.

Will kissed her with the intimacy of a lifelong lover, slow, exquisite, full of passion and love. Robin melted into his body as if they were one body, one soul. And in their exploration, past transgressions washed away.