She shrugged again. “I was never able to talk to them. They don’t understand, you know?”
Sean remembered why he hated college. He couldn’t stand his peers.
“And you’re … Sean, right? From Social Justice.”
“Good memory.”
She smiled. She really was pretty, Sean thought. Though he was only twenty-three, he felt a decade older than most of the students here, had felt that way even back when he’d been in college. But he still admired pretty coeds. “I really liked how you stood up for the innocent.”
Innocent? Sean searched his memory … right, during a discussion during the two-hour class, he’d made a point of taking an extreme position on protecting the rights of animals, living creatures who couldn’t protect themselves or their own rights. It had sounded good at the time, but Sean didn’t remember exactly what he’d said. Something about how people couldn’t be saved on the dead bodies of animals because we’re just animals, too.
“Thank you,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to overstep my bounds.”
He couldn’t believe his plan had worked so well. He’d hoped to draw out the activists, but after one day?
“You’re new. Where’d you transfer from?”
He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t. It’s a long story, but I had this jerk professor who flunked me. I graduated in June-or, I would have, except for him. So I have to take this class to get my degree.”
“Who was it? Brigger? He’s an asshole.”
“Not here. I went to school on the East Coast, as far from my family as I could get.” That was true, but not because he wanted to leave Sacramento. Duke said the MIT opportunity couldn’t be missed. Maybe he was right, but Sean hadn’t fit in there any more than he’d fit in at high school or at Stanford. True, unlike high school, at MIT he had intellectual peers, but few people he connected with. He’d been restless and bored. He tended to get into trouble when he was bored, and Duke always bailed him out. Like when Sean had hacked into the dean of students’ computer and pulled out the porn the jerk had downloaded, then sent the files to the college board and student council. The dean was fired, but Sean had been expelled. That was Stanford, when he’d been a seventeen-year-old freshman.
Sean thought it was grossly unfair. The asshole
The dean had even tried to accuse Sean of planting the movie files. Duke stepped in and proved that wasn’t the case. But in the end, though the prick was fired, Duke had been disappointed in Sean’s conduct, and Sean hated when Duke was disappointed in him.
“Hey, Sean,” Anya said.
“Yeah?”
“You look sad.”
He grinned widely. “Me? Naw, I’m a party animal.”
“I’m in this group-you might be interested. We meet a couple times a week, write articles for the paper, do some demonstrations, help keep the campus green. It’s not easy.”
“I know,” he said, though he had no idea what she was talking about.
“You’re a great spokesperson. We could use someone like you.”
“I have to catch up in the class-Professor Cole said he wasn’t giving me extra time just because I enrolled late.”
“Leif is a softie.”
“Leif?”
“Leif Cole. No one calls him Professor Cole. I’ll bet he loved your speech today, he just tries not to play favorites.”
“He seemed preoccupied,” Sean said.
Anya said nothing for a minute. “Maybe a bit tired. We all have those days. But he’ll be at the meeting tonight, he always comes. Once you sit down and talk to him, you’ll realize how brilliant he is.”
Did professors have groupies? If so, Anya led the pack. Sean suspected she had a crush on the guy. What did a pretty coed like Anya see in a middle-aged academic with a receding hairline and ponytail?
But Sean nodded. “Great. Where?”
“The lounge in Edward Albee Hall. Seven-thirty tonight.” She looked over his shoulder, giving body language signals to someone behind him. He avoided checking out the distraction.
“I’ll be there.” He smiled. “Thanks. Maybe this semester won’t be a total drag after all.”
“See you there. I have to go.”
She picked up her tray and walked away. Sean drained his milk and glanced discreetly over his shoulder. Anya emptied her tray, sorting the trash from the recyclables into separate containers, but he couldn’t see who she’d been making eyes with. As soon as she rounded the corner, he cleared his tray and trailed her.
Leif met Anya in the organic garden.
They rarely were alone on campus because it would have been improper, but why Leif worried about the conventions of society in matters of love, he didn’t know. Today, however, he didn’t have a choice. He’d tried to see her before class, but there were too many people around. After class, he couldn’t break free in time to catch her before lunch, and then she was eating with the new kid.
He’d felt a whiff of jealousy seeing Anya with the handsome young man, which was unlike him. But what could he expect? She was lovely, a wisp of a girl really. Leif was twice her age. Not only were his feelings inappropriate, but the fact that he’d acted on them, that he’d pursued a relationship and had sex with a student-had fallen in love with a student-would get him in deep trouble. Though Rose College was progressive in academics and philosophy, the board could be rather uptight in matters of sex. Why wasn’t he surprised that such a forward- thinking institution would cave in to rigid societal mores, all for money? Because ultimately, they feared losing the tuitions from the wealthy parents who sent their children to the exclusive college.
But Anya’s spirit beckoned to his. She was an old soul as well as a fresh idealist. He needed her like he needed water to survive. Leif loved her, an odd feeling for him. He’d never felt so strongly about another human being. His life’s work, his mission, had always been far more important than any emotional or physical attachment. But with Anya, he’d give up his tenure if that’s what it took to keep her.
They’d agreed to keep their relationship discreet, even though Leif was the only one with something other than his heart at risk.
In May, when she graduated, he’d ask Anya to share his life. Not within the constraints of man-made matrimony, but where it mattered. They’d be together for as long as their spirits complemented each other. For as long as they were satisfied and complete.
When Anya approached him in the organic garden, wearing her customary long, flowing dress that made her look as sweet as her kind disposition, Leif couldn’t resist taking her hand and squeezing it just for a moment. He ran his thumb up and down her palms. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her pale skin was even more translucent.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. He dropped her hands in case someone approached.
“Yes, of course,” she replied. “What’s wrong?”
“How was your lunch date?” He hadn’t meant to ask, it just came out.
She blinked, unsure of what he meant, then said, “Sean? He seems very aware. Do you remember, he spoke up in class?”
He remembered, though at the time of Sean’s impassioned plea for animal rights, Leif had been preoccupied with the news of Jonah Payne’s murder.
“Was he with you last night?” Leif asked.
“I–I don’t know what you mean. I just met him this morning in class, talked to him at lunch. What’s wrong?”
“I know what happened.”
He didn’t need to elaborate. Her eyes fluttered downward almost demurely.
