'You make a game of it.'
'I'm serious. Ask me now.'
'If you know your reply — '
'I don't know until you ask me properly,' she said, 'Now, with no distractions.'
He looked at her for a long moment, then glanced away, such confusion in his eyes that Dee wanted to pull him down into her arms and forget everything else. But this was important to him. It was important to her too, she realised.
'I don't have the courage,' he said finally, and forced his eyes back to hers. 'I can kill a man with my bare hands but I don't have the courage to ask for your love.' He glanced away again. 'I don't even know if I deserve it.'
'You deserve it,' she said, and pulled him down to her for a deep, sensuous kiss.
By the time they'd finished Dee knew it was only the serious nature of their conversation that kept him from her body. And even as he broke away it was in a series of smaller, abridges kisses.
'You know the tender of my desires,' he said huskily. 'I have spoken to you of my love.'
'Never Land love?' she asked, looking up at him, a sad smile on her lips. 'Magic love?'
He shook his head. 'There is no magic in my love, save that which I feel in your arms. It is the steadfast love of a man for his woman. A love that will not die with this body,' he said and touched his chest.
Dee laid her hand over his. 'Then ask me again.'
He looked into her eyes. Seconds ticked over.
'Ask it, my love,' she whispered, the endearment falling from her lips so easily she wanted to say it again and again.
'Am I… your love?' he asked, his eyes like those of a small boy not daring to believe his wish could come true.
She nodded, thrilled to be able to give him this gift. The gift of her love. A gift she hadn't known she had to give.
'Then will you, Wendee, leave the tribe of Peter and be my woman, to love no other?' His hand held hers tight against his chest, their fingers entwined.
Her heart willed her to say yes — to trust herself to this man whose love for her was strong enough to overcome any obstacles.
But she didn't.
Her smile faded. She blinked. Love no other? Sudden thoughts of Xavion and Christophe, the twins and Skye, even Mack flashed through her mind. What she'd shared with them was nothing like the bond between Long Shadow and herself, but it had meant something to her once, and might again.
Long Shadow watched these thoughts flitting across her face and his hand tightened in hers.
She looked up into his eyes, bewildered by her sudden change of heart.
'You will not give your vow,' he said quietly. And after watching her a moment longer, released her hand and stood, turning his back to her.
Dee struggled to sit up, her lethargic body rebelling against the activity. 'I want to be your woman,' she said helplessly. 'I love waking to the touch of your lips against mine, falling asleep with the gentle lull of your voice in my ear. I've never felt so safe.'
'But?'
'But…' She hung her head. 'I can't… I don't think I can be…' she searched for a word.
He found it for her. 'Faithful.'
'Yes,' she whispered, looking down at her hands, the hands that even now longed to touch his smooth body and bring it alive. But Long Shadow wasn't like her. He had honour. Pride. Dee felt the chill premonition that their time together was at end.
'There is one thing I would know,' he said, and she raised her head, daunted by the stiffness of his back. 'Do you love me?' he asked with quiet dignity. 'Just love. Not commitment.'
'Yes, I do,' she said, grateful that he'd given her this opportunity. 'When I'm with you I feel as though a part of me that I didn't realise was empty is suddenly full. I'm happy… complete. I've never felt that way with anyone else.'
'It's not only… sex?'
'No. It's love. I think.' She shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see her. 'I've never been in love, but…' a sudden memory came to her, '…I know I'd willingly die to save your life.'
She saw his shoulders stiffen, then he turned slowly to look down at her, his head tilted to the side, his hair falling over his shoulders to caress his chest the way she longed to. 'Is this truth? You would die — '
'Right now, if I had to.' She forced her wobbling legs to support her as she stood and took his large hands in hers. Then she ached for the confusion in his eyes.
'But why…?'
'I can't… help the way I am,' she said plainly, 'but that doesn't mean I can't love you. I do love you. Please, don't ask for more than I can give.'
He closed his eyes, raised her hands and pressed her fingers to his lips. Dee looked at his bowed head, wishing there was something she could say to take away the hurt she'd inflicted on him. But there was nothing.
He kissed her fingers and released them. Then he untied his beaded wristband and looked down at it. 'My Grandfather, Soaring Eagle, gave this to me when I became a man,' he said, one of his large fingers tracing the ancient pattern.
'It's very beautiful,' Dee said, admiring the thin multi-coloured strip, imagining an old man giving it to his beloved Grandson.
'Its beauty comes from the spirit that lives in it. The spirit of my Grandfather's love and protection.' He looked up into her eyes. 'This, I would give you,' he said, and after pressing it to his lips, tied it carefully around her neck, turning the knot to the back. 'I would ask that you accept this gift as a promise of my love. As I accept your love, without condition.'
Dee said the words, 'I do,' and in her heart she was saying them for the first time.
The moment was too emotional even to kiss. He pulled her into his arms and with her cheek against his chest, she listened to the sound of his heart beating, strong and steady. 'I wish I had something to give you,' she said.
He held her more tightly. 'I have it,' he whispered against her hair, and the feeling inside her swelled. Yet mixed with the joy was a sadness, a wish that she could be the woman he deserved. A woman content with one lover. This lover. But she knew it could never be. Just to think of Xavion or Skye… Christophe, was to want them. Even in Long Shadow's arms.
But if it were possible, she knew Long Shadow would be the one she would choose to spend the rest of her life with. And that made it easier to accept the knowledge that she would eventually cause him pain.
'I wish we could be alone together forever,' she said, knowing it was a vain hope, a forestalling of the inevitable.
'As do I,' he replied, 'But I fear our time together will be short. Belle's call…'
She felt him slipping away and held him tighter, her lips brushing against his throat, feeling the tingle work its way down her body. She knew there wasn't time, but she wanted him again. There was no end to her insatiability where Long Shadow was concerned. Neither need there be. He was just as eager as she.
'It's probably nothing important,' Dee said, her hand drifting up his chest, her open palm grazing his nipple. 'Maybe a check on my safety. For Peter. Didn't you say he was coming back today?'
'This afternoon,' Long Shadow replied absently. 'But she will not want news of you, my love,' he said, and looked down at her, his eyes showing none of the desire she could feel in the reawakening body pressed hard against her. 'She thinks you dead.'
Dee's hand stopped its stroking of his shoulder. 'Didn't you tell her I was here? That you rescued me?'
'No.'
She frowned, surprised by his blank expression. 'Isn't she in charge of Never Land while Peter's away? Won't she be worried?'
'Not if she's the one who tried to kill you.'
