orders to use its radiation weapons to shoot down a Turkish combat support aircraft?”
“Flying-wing…reconnaissance aircraft…
“We have observed this aircraft flying near the Turkish border for many days now, sir,” Hirsiz said. “Although it resembles an American stealth bomber, our intelligence analysts have assured our government that it was an unarmed reconnaissance aircraft owned and operated by a private contractor for the United States Army. The air attache at the American embassy in Ankara acknowledged this to be true.
“Apparently our analysts were wrong, and your ambassador lied to us, because the crew of a combat support aircraft reported being under attack by that very same aircraft,” Hirsiz went on. “The surviving crewmember reported that the so-called reconnaissance aircraft was in fact firing what he described as a radiation weapon; he reported feeling intense heat severe enough that it killed the pilot and destroyed the aircraft. Do you deny such an aircraft was operating at the time of our actions over Iraq, Mr. President?”
The president shook his head in confusion. “Mr. President, I don’t know anything about such an aircraft, and I certainly did not order any American aircraft to attack
“That is little consolation to the family of the pilot who died as a result from the attack, sir.”
“I’ll find the ones responsible, Mr. President, and if it was a deliberate attack they will be punished, that I promise,” Gardner said. “What are Turkey’s intentions in Iraq, sir? When are you going to begin withdrawing troops?”
“Withdrawing? Did you say ‘withdrawing,’ sir?” Hirsiz asked in a high-pitched, theatrically incredulous voice. “Turkey is not withdrawing, sir. We are not withdrawing until every last PKK terrorist is dead or captured. We did not begin this operation and risk thousands of lives and billions in valuable equipment simply to turn around before the job is done.”
“Sir, Turkey has committed an act of armed aggression against a peaceful country,” Gardner said. “You may be hunting down terrorists, sir, but you’re doing it on foreign soil, terrorizing innocent civilians, and damaging a sovereign nation’s property. That cannot be allowed.”
“And how are our actions different from America attacking Iraq, Mr. President?” Hirsiz asked. “That is your doctrine, is it not—hunt down and destroy terrorists wherever they may be, at a time of your own choosing? We are doing the very same.”
Joseph Gardner hesitated. The bastard was right, he thought. How could I argue against Turkey invading Iraq when that’s exactly what the United States did in 2003? “Um…Mr. President, you know it’s not the same…”
“It is the very same, sir. We have a right to protect ourselves, just as America does.”
Fortunately for the president, Walter Kordus held up a Post-it note with the letters
“We have sought that approval for many years, sir,” Hirsiz said, “but it was always denied. The best you or the United Nations could ever do was declare the PKK a terrorist organization. We were authorized to call them names, but
“America was also offered assistance by many other nations in the effort to hunt down al-Qaeda terrorists and jihadists,” Gardner said. “This sudden attack looks more like an invasion than an antiterrorist operation.”
“Are you offering assistance, Mr. President?” Hirsiz asked. “That would certainly speed up our progress and ensure a more rapid retraction.”
“Mr. President, the United States has often offered assistance in hunting down PKK terrorists many times in the past,” Gardner said. “We have provided intelligence, weapons, and financial resources for years. But the intent was to avoid open warfare and violations of sovereign borders—to prevent exactly what has occurred, and what other calamities might happen if hostilities do not end.”
“We are grateful for the assistance you have provided, sir,” Hirsiz said. “Turkey will always be thankful. But it was simply not enough to stop the terrorists from attacking. It is not America’s fault. We have been forced to act by the ruthless PKK. Any assistance you can provide in the future would be most helpful and gratefully accepted, of course.”
“We’d be happy to help you hunt down the terrorists, Mr. President,” Gardner said, “but as a sign of good faith, we would ask if United Nations peacekeeping forces could substitute for Turkish ground troops, and if you could allow international monitors and law enforcement officers to patrol the Turkey-Iraq border.”
“I am sorry, Mr. President, but that would not do at all,” Hirsiz said. “It is our belief that the United Nations is an ineffectual force and has not made any progress in any area of the world where its peacekeepers are deployed. In fact, it is our opinion that such a force would be biased against Turkey and in favor of the Kurdish minority, and that the hunt for PKK terrorists would be shuffled into the background. No, sir, Turkey will not accept peacekeepers at this time.”
“I trust you and Prime Minister Akas will be willing to negotiate this matter, sir? By the way, I expected to hear from the prime minister. Is she well? We haven’t seen or heard of her.”
“I think you will find the prime minister to be just as firm on this issue as I, Mr. President,” Hirsiz said flatly, ignoring Gardner’s questions. “International observers would only complicate the security, cultural, ethnic, and religious tensions in the region. I’m afraid there is no room for compromise at this time.”
“I see. I also want to discuss Vice President Phoenix,” Gardner went on. “He was forced to evade Turkish warplanes and ground forces as he flew into Irbil for our scheduled negotiations.”
“That is an unfortunate occurrence, sir. I assure you, no efforts were made to attack any aircraft whatsoever. As far as we know, the PKK does not have an air force. Where is the vice president now, sir?”
“The vice president is a virtual prisoner of the Turkish army and air force at the Iraqi air base at Tall Kayf, north of Mosul,” Gardner said, after carefully considering whether or not he should reveal this information. “He is surrounded by Turkish troops and buzzed repeatedly by Turkish warplanes. He definitely fears for his safety. I demand that all Turkish forces evacuate the area and allow the vice president to leave the base and proceed to his next destination.”
“His next destination?”
“His original destination: Irbil,” Gardner said. “The vice president still has a mission: to negotiate a settlement between Iraq, America, the Kurdish Regional Government, and Turkey, to suppress the PKK and restore peace, security, and order to the border region.”
“Lofty goals, that,” Hirsiz said dismissively. There was a considerable pause at the other end of the line; then: “Mr. President, I am sorry, but the security situation is completely unstable and uncertain throughout northern Iraq and southern Turkey. No one can guarantee the vice president’s safety in the cities, especially ones controlled by the Kurds and infested with the PKK.”
“So you will keep the vice president imprisoned in Iraq? Is that what you’re telling me, sir?”
“Of course not, sir,” Hirsiz replied. “I am only thinking of the vice president’s safety, nothing else.” There was another long pause; then: “I will pledge, upon my honor, that I will see to it that the vice president is safely escorted to the Turkish border under heavy guard, with full cooperation with your Secret Service protection detail, and from there he can be escorted to the American air base at Incirlik for a return to the United States. I will also pledge that Turkish forces will not interfere in the least if the vice president decides to travel to Baghdad. But since Turkish forces have not traveled farther south than Mosul, I cannot guarantee his safety. I am afraid traveling right now is simply not advised.”
“Let me get this straight, Mr. Hirsiz—you’re telling me that
“Crude and boisterous as always, but I understand,” Hirsiz said in a completely neutral tone of voice.
“See that you do, sir,” President Gardner said. “And when can I expect to speak directly to the prime minister