coming to Portland.
As much as Grace enjoyed the new field of work, what she really seemed
to love was the dish. Grace had always acted as part-time therapist to
clients who trusted her with their life's secrets, and she actually
refrained from passing these tidbits on to others. However, she felt
no such loyalty toward pretentious thespians and spoiled prima donnas.
Working regularly on production sets satisfied Grace's lust for good,
spreadable dirt.
Tonight's topic was the disagreeable side of America's most beloved
actress. Physically, she was as perfect as Grace had expected. But
after working with her for three days, Grace now believed her to be one
of the ugliest people she'd met.
'This girl was killing me, Sam. She likes to tell all those magazines
that her famous hair just looks that way on its own? Well, God let me
make it through the weekend so I could tell you otherwise. She must've
stopped shooting six times a day, yelling at me, It's drying out, it's
drying out. Can't you see I need a mist?' Then I'd have to stop what
I was doing and spray her head with a mixture of moisturizer and Evian
water. She says regular water leaves a 'residue.' Then everyone had
to sit there and wait while I scrunched her hair with my fingers until
it dried, to lock in what she says are natural curls.
'So, during a break, when I was touching her up, I mentioned in passing
that shooting schedules can be hard on the hair. You know, all that
blow drying, crimping, curling, and whatnot really takes its toll.
Truth is, her hair's toast, beyond saving. I pulled her hair up around
her shoulders and told her she'd look just as beautiful with a short
cut if she wanted a change after this movie's done. The girl
wigged.'
Grace lifted her head and affected a slight southern accent. ' 'I'm
not some house frau who needs a frumpy easy-to-manage hairdo. With all
due respect, you're not being paid to think. You're being paid to make
sure I look good. And this hair is what looks good, what has put me on
the cover of hundreds of magazines, and what makes me worth twenty
million dollars a film.' It was all I could do not to cut that shit
right off her head. Add the fact that she picks her teeth and reeks of
garlic, and I don't see her as America's little sweetheart anymore.'
People judge others by their professions, but the reality is that
Grace, in addition to being funny and extremely good at what she does,
is incredibly smart. She always has been. In high school, the two of
us were always neck and neck at the top of the class. Although we
started to lose touch a few years into college, she was the first
person I called when I moved back to Portland, and we picked up the
friendship right where we'd left off.
As much as I was enjoying Grace's comic relief, I couldn't get the
Derringer case out of my mind. I laid out everything I knew so far.
She shook her head. 'I don't know how you handle a job where you have
to think about that kind of stuff. There must be some happy medium
between those sick subjects and the superficial junk I have to deal
with all day.'
'Maybe we should both hang it up and become account-ants.
'Nah, too boring,' she said. 'We'll just have to keep trying to
balance each other out.'
'Seriously, it's not just that it's hard, Grace. I've gotten used to
dealing with unpleasant subjects at work. I'm scared I'm going to
lose. These are the most serious charges I've ever filed against
anyone, and part of me's excited about it. But if it falls apart, I
won't just look bad at work, I'll feel like shit for letting this
dirtbag go free.'
'Sam, you've got to put it in perspective. If it weren't for you, this
guy would already have won. Tim O'Donnell would've issued that chippy
assault charge against him. What could he get for that?'
'With his record, maybe two years at most after conviction. He'd be
out in eighteen months, maybe even nine if he pled guilty,' I said.
'See? And, even in a worst-case scenario, you'll still get that,
right?'
'I think so. Even if the case falls apart, I think Lopez would plead
Derringer out to assault to avoid going to verdict on the attempted
murder.'
'So what are you worrying about? Sounds to me like you saved the day
just by getting involved, no matter what happens. This way, the police
are still working on the case, so they might even catch the second guy.
You need to look at it from that perspective. You may win. But even
if you don't, you haven't really lost anything.'
She was right. I should feel good about what I did today. It was time
to put aside the serious stuff and talk to her about the personal side
of this case.
'Oh, and I may have neglected to fill you in on the identity of one of
the main investigators.'
