nutsnestled in her pocket. She decided to sleep with them and the knifeon her belt as well. While she doubted anyone would bother her withCedar around, she did not like the camp atmosphere.
When she returned from washing at the riverand saw Cedar’s all-in-one bed-blanket-pillow stretched over therocks, she remembered she would be expected to spend the nighttucked into it. With him.
Though the rest of the men had disappearedinto the tents, Sebastian sat on a log by the fire. He probablywanted to see if another man would actually share a bed with her.She glowered at Sebastian and stalked over to join Cedar.
He crouched beside his blanket, waiting forher. He lifted a hand, perhaps asking if she wanted to get infirst. She waved for him to go. Sebastian glanced their way, andshe dropped her hand. Presumably people who shared beds workedthese details out early in their relationships, though she supposedshe could claim this was their first night on the trail together ifanyone voiced suspicions.
Cedar removed his boots, though thankfullynone of his other clothing. A part of her would not mind seeing himsans garments some day, but not with an audience nearby. He slidbetween the blankets and laid his rifle close by.
“Not sleeping with it tonight?” Kali sat downto remove her own boots.
“I didn’t want you to get jealous.”
She snorted.
“Will you be all right here if I leave laterto scout Wilder’s claim?” Cedar whispered.
“I think so,” Kali said. Thus far Sebastian’sstory had panned out, though admittedly coming in at night meantshe had seen little of his claim and his operation. “But on thechance he’s planning something squirrelly, when would you beback?”
“Morning. Early.”
“I suspect I can keep myself out of troubleuntil then.”
“Hm.”
Kali poked around for a way into thecocoon-like bedding. Cedar lay on his side to provide more room forher. Her options were facing him or not. The former seemed far toointimate, so she laid on her side with her back to him. Hard, lumpystones pressed into her ribs, and cold seeped through the blanket.Spring might have come to the Yukon, but all that meant was sheprobably wouldn’t wake with ice crystals freezing her eyelashesshut.
“Can you slip me one of my vials?” shemurmured. “Just in case I
The blanket rustled. The small container hepressed into her hand was warm, and she wondered where he had beenkeeping it. Kali wriggled about, finding space to draw her knee up,and she slipped the vial into her sock. She pillowed her head withher arms and closed her eyes.
“Does this mean we’re not putting on ademonstrative display to convince him of the veracity of ourrelationship?” Cedar asked, his words tickled with amusement.
“You’re my beau,” she whispered, “not myhusband. For all he knows, we’ve just begun our courtship andhaven’t had, er, you know, yet.”
“Ah. No kissing either?”
“Are you just teasing me because it’s fun andyou can right now without risking a punch in the belly, or are youimplying that you’d actually like to do…stuff?”
Long seconds passed without a response, andshe winced. Had she implied she wanted him to say he wanted to do‘stuff’? Because if he did not want to do ‘stuff,’ she certainlydidn’t want him to think she wanted him to do ‘stuff.’ She closedher eyes and groaned inwardly. When had she become sucha…
“I only mention the latter thing, because itwould puzzle me,” Kali said, “seeing as how you turned down mysuggestion we might go to the dancing hall last month and I’venever caught you leering suggestively at me when I’m bent over asteam engine.”
That drew a chuckle from him, but thenanother silence. She pulled the blanket higher over her shoulders.Maybe they should just go to sleep. Sebastian had left,disappearing into one of the tents.
“When I was a boy,” Cedar said, “there wasthis hound that showed up in town. He was all mange and ribs, butyou could tell he’d be a handsome boy if you fixed him up. He was asmart feller too. He knew how to open Old Lady Harrison’s screendoor and filch her meal preparations off the kitchen counter. Thedog didn’t have a collar, so I figured I could claim him and he’dbe the perfect hunting companion for a boy. Trouble was, he wasscared of people. He’d flinch away if you lifted a hand to pet him,and if you cornered him he’d growl and snarl like a rabid wolf. Mygrandpa said folks had beat him, and it’d take a passel of patiencefor someone to get past that fear and turn him into a friend. I,being ten or so, reckoned I was just the person.”
Kali was quite positive Cedar had neverstrung so many words together in a row. She was not sure she likedthe implied comparison, but she listened without interrupting,curious where he would take the story.
“I used some meat to trick him into a pen,”Cedar went on, “and I trapped him there. I brought him food andwater every day and I spent hours talking to him and trying to gethim used to me. It seemed to be working. He didn’t growl so much,and he wagged his tail when I showed up. Well, I wanted to pet himpowerful bad, so I slipped into his pen one day, gave him his food,and tried to get close to him. He got real still and wary, but hedidn’t flinch away, so I thought everything was working like I’dplanned.”
Kali had an inkling of how the story wouldend, but she asked, “What happened?” anyway.
“He bit me, jumped the fence of the pen, andran off. I never saw him again.”
“Am I correct in guessing you’re comparingthis mangy, scrawny dog to me?” Though more amused than angry, shehad a feeling she should give him a hard time.
“No, of course not.” Cedar cleared histhroat. “Maybe a little.” Another beat passed, and he switched hisanswer to, “Yes.”
“At least it was a handsome and smart dog,”she muttered. “Under the mange.”
“Very smart,” he said carefully.
“So, this story means…you’re afraid I’dbite you if you took me to the dancing hall?”
“More afraid I’d bite
“Oh.” Kali caught her bottom lip between herteeth. She grew aware of her heartbeat, its rapid thumps againsther ribs. Her eyes were probably huge too. Like those of a startleddoe. She was glad for the darkness and that he was behind her so hecould not see her face. “I…know I can be a little…standoffishat times.”
He snorted.
“Most times,” she admitted. “But nobody everbeat me. No scars or anything. Well, except for that one scar fromthe time I decided to make guncotton. Oh, and the first time Itried to make those metal dogs and incorporate the flash gold,well, that needed stitches from Doc. Marvin, but I’m notbite-you-and-jump-the-fence damaged. Really.” She winced. She meantthe words, but at the same time she felt like she was trying toconvince herself.
The fire had died down, and men snored. Upand down the river, the sounds of croaking frogs competed with thegurgling water.
“It’s possible to scar someone withouttouching them,” Cedar said quietly.
“I guess.” Between Sebastian, her mother, andher father, she had certainly been hurt often enough. It was hardto dismantle her booby traps and let people get close. She was notcertain she could even have this conversation-admit thisvulnerability-with Cedar by the light of day.
Cedar stirred. Since she had crawled underthe blanket with him, he had been careful to keep his distance, butnow he rested a hand on her waist. Her instincts reacted before hermind, and she tensed. She rolled her eyes at herself and forcedherself to relax.
“You all right?” he asked.
“Just depressed. I
He chuckled softly, his warm breath stirringthe hairs on the back of her neck. He started to retract theembrace. Kali caught his hand to keep it there. She wrapped herfingers about his calloused palm and she shifted onto her back,turning her head toward his. Darkness hid his face, but, for whatshe intended next, maybe that was easiest-safest. She wanted tobelieve he desired a relationship with her, but nobody ever hadbefore, not without an ulterior motive, and it was hard to believesomeone like him would be the first.
Stop analyzing this, came the thought fromthe back of her mind. Do it before you lose your nerve.
Cedar must have sensed her intent for he wasthe one to lean close. She almost grinned when that beard
