“I don’t understand,” Toot said, tilting his head the other way.
“Oh, for the love of . . .” I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “Toot. Can you read?”
“Sure!” Toot said. “I can read ‘pizza’
“All three, huh?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re a scholar and a gentleman,” I said. “But where did you learn Winter Law?”
Toot shook his head as if mystified. “You don’t
“I don’t,” I said.
“Maybe you’re too big,” Toot said. “Or too loud. Or, you know—too human.”
I grunted. Then I eyed Hook, who had continued to sit in the same spot during the entire conversation. “So I’ve gone and made him my guest, eh?”
“Well. More like your vassal.”
I frowned. “Uh? What?”
“That’s what surrender is, duh,” Toot said. “His life is yours to do with as you please. And as long as you don’t starve him or make him an oathbreaker, you can tell him to do whatever you want. And if his liege wants him back, he has to pay you for him.”
“Ah. Medieval-style ransom.”
Toot looked confused. “He did run some, but I stopped him, my lord. Like, just now. In front of you. Right over there.”
There were several conspicuous sounds behind me, the loudest from my apprentice, and I turned to eye everyone else. They were all either covering smiles or holding them back—poorly. “Hey, peanut gallery,” I said. “This isn’t as easy as I’m making it look.”
“You’re doing fine,” Karrin said, her eyes twinkling.
I sighed.
“Come on, Toot,” I said, and walked over to Hook.
The little faerie sat there, apparently ignoring me, which took considerable nerve. If I fell or stepped on him, it would be like a tree falling on a lumberjack. If I were trying to hurt him, physically, I could twist him up like Stretch Armstrong.
On the other hand, Hook was a faerie. It probably never even occurred to him that I might violate Mab’s laws.
“The prisoner will stand and face the Za Lord!” Toot shrilled.
Hook obediently got up and turned to face me.
“Identify yourself, please,” I said. “I don’t want your Name. Just something to call you.”
“By some I am called Lacuna,” he replied.
“Suits me, Lacuna,” I said. “Remove the helmet, please. I want to see who I’m supporting.”
Lacuna reached up and removed the face-shrouding helmet.
She was gorgeous.
Fine black hair bound into a braid at least a foot long spilled down out of the helmet when she did. Her skin was paper white, her huge eyes black all the way through. There were small markings or tattoos of some kind in deep purple ink on her skin, but they shifted slightly as I watched, some fading from sight, others appearing. Her features were long and very lean. She had a straight razor’s elegant, dangerous beauty.
Toot’s jaw just about dropped off of his head. “Wow!”
“Hmmm,” Karrin said. “That’s the one who beat you up last night, is it?”
“And tripped him this morning,” Thomas reminded her.
“And tripped me this morning,” I growled. I turned back to Lacuna and studied her for a moment. She looked back at me without blinking. Actually, she didn’t move at all—except for her braid, which drifted upward like cobwebs over a heating vent.
“Huh,” I said. “Was not expecting that.”
Lacuna stared, her eyes flat.
“I won’t ask you to break your word,” I told her. “And I will treat you with respect and provide for your needs in exchange for your service. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” Lacuna said.
“Wow!” said Toot.
“Without breaking any oath, I would like to know,” I said, “whatever you can tell me about the person you were serving until you were taken prisoner.”
She stared.
I caught my mistake and rolled my eyes. “Let me rephrase that. Tell me whatever you can about the person you were serving until you were taken prisoner without breaking any word you’ve given him.”
Lacuna nodded at that and frowned pensively. Then she looked up and said in a serious, confidential tone, “He does not seem to like you very much.”
I took a slow, deep breath. There were more titters behind me.
“I noticed that, too,” I said. “Tell me what you know about what’s happening tonight.”
“Children,” she said in a sepulchral voice, and her little face twisted up with unmistakable fury. “And candy. Lots and lots of candy.”
“Wow!” Toot said. He zipped away in a flutter of wings.
“Without breaking your word, tell me everything else you know about Ace,” I said.
“He owes me,” Lacuna replied grimly, “for services rendered.”
I sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d like to volunteer to offer me some more useful information?”
The armored faerie stared at me without blinking. It was a little creepy.
“Nah, I didn’t think so,” I said. “Are you hungry?”
She seemed to consider that for a moment, then said, “Yes.”
“Do you want some pizza?”
Lacuna’s face twisted up in disgust. “Ugh. No.”
My eyebrows went up. That was a grade-A first. The Little Folk would quite literally go to war over pizza. They liked it that much. “Uh. What would you like to eat, then?”
“Celery,” she replied promptly. “Cheese. Green tea. But mostly celery.”
“How random,” I said. I looked over my shoulder. “Molly?”
“I’ve got those,” she said, and went to the kitchen.
“Okay, Lacuna,” I said. “We’ve got a bunch of business to take care of. I want you to eat, get some rest, and make yourself comfortable. You aren’t to leave this apartment. Understood?”
Lacuna nodded somberly. “Yes.” Her wings blurred and she darted across the apartment to the kitchen, where Molly was preparing a plate with Lacuna-chow on it.
“Good. I’ll figure out what to do with you later.” I rubbed the back of my neck and went back over to the others. “Well. That was a little frustrating.”
“Why’d you take her prisoner then?” Thomas asked.
I glowered at him. “Don’t you have a squad of mercenaries to round up? Or a bridge to jump off?”
“I guess so.”
“Okay, everybody,” I said. “You’ve got your assignments. Let’s get them done. Molly, you’ve got the apartment and the phone, so after you send the search parties, you’re coordinating. Anyone learns something, call Molly with it. Otherwise, meet back here by five.”
There was a round of nods and agreements, and Butters, Thomas, and Karrin headed out into the city.
Once they were gone, Molly asked, “Why’d you ditch them like that?”
I lifted my eyebrows again. The grasshopper just kept getting cleverer. “I wasn’t ditching them,” I said.
Molly arched an eyebrow. “You weren’t?”
“Not entirely,” I said. “That stuff needs doing, too.”
“While you go somewhere dangerous all by yourself. Am I right?”
