The smile with which she accompanied this remark, suggested that both Mr. Pendomer's correspondence and home life were at times of an interesting nature.
'I had destroyed the envelopes when she returned them,' continued Colonel Musgrave, with morose confusion of persons. 'Patricia doesn't even know who the girl was—her name, somehow, was not mentioned.'
''Woman of my heart'—'Dearest girl in all the world,'' quoted Mrs. Pendomer, reminiscently, 'and suchlike tender phrases, scattered in with a pepper-cruet, after the rough copy was made in pencil, and dated just 'Wednesday,' or 'Thursday,' of course. Ah, you were always very careful, Rudolph,' she sighed; 'and now that makes it all the worse, because—as far as all the evidence goes—these letters may have been returned yesterday.'
'Why—!' Colonel Musgrave pulled up short, hardly seeing his way clear through the indignant periods on which he had entered. 'I declined,' said he, somewhat lamely, 'to discuss the matter with her, in her present excited and perfectly unreasonable condition.'
Mrs. Pendomer's penciled eyebrows rose, and her lips—which were quite as red as there was any necessity for their being—twitched.
'Hysterics?' she asked.
'Worse!' groaned Colonel Musgrave; 'patient resignation under unmerited affliction!'
He had picked up a teaspoon, and he carefully balanced it upon his forefinger.
'There were certain phrases in these letters which were, somehow, repeated in certain letters I wrote to Patricia the summer we were engaged, and—not to put too fine a point upon it—she doesn't like it.'
Mrs. Pendomer smiled, as though she considered this not improbable; and he continued, with growing embarrassment and indignation:
'She says there must have been others'—Mrs. Pendomer's smile grew reminiscent—'any number of others; that she is only an incident in my life. Er—as you have mentioned, Patricia has certain notions—Northern idiocies about the awfulness of a young fellow's sowing his wild oats, which you and I know perfectly well he is going to do, anyhow, if he is worth his salt. But she doesn't know it, poor little girl. So she won't listen to reason, and she won't come downstairs—which,' lamented Rudolph Musgrave, plaintively, 'is particularly awkward in a house-party.'
He drummed his fingers, for a moment, on the table.
'It is,' he summed up, 'a combination of Ibsen and hysterics, and of—er, rather declamatory observations concerning there being one law for the man and another for the woman, and Patricia's realization of the mistake we both made—and all that sort of nonsense, you know, exactly as if, I give you my word, she were one of those women who want to vote.' The colonel, patently, considered that feminine outrageousness could go no farther. 'And she is taking menthol and green tea and mustard plasters and I don't know what all, in bed, prior to—to——'
'Taking leave?' Mrs. Pendomer suggested.
'Er—that was mentioned, I believe,' said Colonel Musgrave. 'But of course she was only talking.'
Mrs. Pendomer looked about her; and, without, the clean-shaven lawns and trim box-hedges were very beautiful in the morning sunlight; within, the same sunlight sparkled over the heavy breakfast service, and gleamed in the high walnut panels of the breakfast-room. She viewed the comfortable appointments about her a little wistfully, for Mrs. Pendomer's purse was not over-full.
'Of course,' said she, as in meditation, 'there was the money.'
'Yes,' said Rudolph Musgrave, slowly; 'there was the money.'
He sprang to his feet, and drew himself erect. Here was a moment he must give its full dramatic value.
'Oh, no, Clarice, my marriage may have been an eminently sensible one, but I love my wife. Oh, believe me, I love her very tenderly, poor little Patricia! I have weathered some forty-seven birthdays; and I have done much as other men do, and all that—there have been flirtations and suchlike, and—er—some women have been kinder to me than I deserved. But I love her; and there has not been a moment since she came into my life I haven't loved her, and been—' he waved his hands now impotently, almost theatrically—'sickened at the thought of the others.'
Mrs. Pendomer's foot tapped the floor whilst he spoke. When he had made an ending, she inclined her head toward him.
'Thank you!' said Mrs. Pendomer.
Colonel Musgrave bit his lip; and he flushed.
'That,' said he, hastily, 'was different.'
But the difference, whatever may have been its nature, was seemingly a matter of unimportance to Mrs. Pendomer, who was in meditation. She rested her ample chin on a much-bejeweled hand for a moment; and, when Mrs. Pendomer raised her face, her voice was free from affectation.
'You will probably never understand that this particular July day is a crucial point in your life. You will probably remember it, if you remember it at all, simply as that morning when Patricia found some girl-or-another's old letters, and behaved rather unreasonably about them. It was the merest trifle, you will think…. John Charteris understands women better than you do, Rudolph.'
'I need not pretend at this late day to be as clever as Jack,' the colonel said, in some bewilderment. 'But why not more succinctly state that the Escurial is not a dromedary, although there are many flies in France? For what on earth has Jack to do with crucial points and July mornings?'
'Why, I suppose, I only made bold to introduce his name for the sake of an illustration, Rudolph. For the last person in the world to realize, precisely, why any woman did anything is invariably the woman who did it…. Yet there comes in every married woman's existence that time when she realizes, suddenly, that her husband has a past which might be taken as, in itself, a complete and rounded life—as a life which had run the gamut of all ordinary human passions, and had become familiar with all ordinary human passions a dishearteningly long while before she ever came into that life. A woman never realizes that of her lover, somehow. But to know that your husband, the father of your child, has lived for other women a life in which you had no part, and never can have part!—she realizes that, at one time or another, and—and it sickens her.' Mrs. Pendomer smiled as she echoed his phrase, but her eyes were not mirthful.
'Ah, she hungers for those dead years, Rudolph, and, though you devote your whole remaining life to her, nothing can ever make up for them; and she always hates those shadowy women who have stolen them from her. A woman never, at heart, forgives the other women who have loved her husband, even though she cease to care for him herself. For she remembers—ah, you men forget so easily, Rudolph! God had not invented memory when he created Adam; it was kept for the woman.'
Then ensued a pause, during which Rudolph Musgrave smiled down upon her, irresolutely; for he abhorred 'a scene,' as his vernacular phrased it, and to him Clarice's present manner bordered upon both the scenic and the incomprehensible.
'Ah!—you women!' he temporized.
There was a glance from eyes whose luster time and irregular living had conspired to dim.
'Ah!—you men!' Mrs. Pendomer retorted. 'And there we have the tragedy of life in a nutshell!'
Silence lasted for a while. The colonel was finding this matutinal talk discomfortably opulent in pauses.
'Rudolph, and has it never occurred to you that in marrying Patricia you swindled her?'
And naturally his eyebrows lifted.
'Because a woman wants love.'
'Well, well! and don't I love Patricia?'
'I dare say that you think you do. Only you have played at loving so long you are really unable to love anybody as a girl has every right to be loved in her twenties. Yes, Rudolph, you are being rather subtly punished for the good times you have had. And, after all, the saddest punishment is something that happens in us, not something which happens to us.'
'I wish you wouldn't laugh, Clarice——'
'I wish I didn't have to. For I would get far more comfort out of crying, and I don't dare to, because of my complexion. It comes in a round pasteboard box nowadays, you know, Rudolph, with French mendacities all over the top—and my eyebrows come in a fat crayon, and the healthful glow of my lips comes in a little porcelain tub.'
Mrs. Pendomer was playing with a teaspoon now, and a smile hovered about the aforementioned lips.
'And yet, do you remember, Rudolph,' said she, 'that evening at Assequin, when I wore a blue gown, and they were playing
'Yes'—there was an effective little catch in his voice—'you were a wonderful girl, Clarice—'my sunshine girl,' I used to call you. And blue was always your color; it went with your eyes so exactly. And those big sleeves they
