away from the patient. Auraya moved toward the bower entrance.
:Why did I do it? she asked Chaia. Or why didn’t I do it?
:You have a conscience, he told her. You need to know your actions are justified. To you, being just and right is more important than obedience. It is a part of your nature I like. Unfortunately my view is not shared by the others.
:By all of the others, or just Huan?
:We vary in our opinions, but are united in our decisions, Auraya. It is not for you to know our individual views.
She stepped outside. The sunlight was too bright. She headed for the shade.
:You and the other gods must have known it was part of my nature. Why did you choose me to be a White?
:Because the White cannot all be the same. You each have strengths and weaknesses. When you work together your weaknesses are lessened and your strengths enhanced. Your own weakness - your compassion - is your strength. A leader who can kill without question is unlikely to have the empathy and compassion needed to negotiate mutually beneficial alliances and help other people resolve their differences.
:Then why did Huan choose me for this task?
:I’m afraid you are the wrong White in the wrong place at the wrong time. You should not be the one executing Mirar - and not just because you were once in love with a part of him.
Auraya felt a spark of hope.
:Am I forgiven, then?
:Not quite, Chaia replied. Some of us believe that the White must be obedient, no matter what is in their nature. If the White have different natures, then they are bound to disagree at times. When conflict happens they must look to us for a resolution. They must obey us, or their unity will be broken.
Auraya felt her stomach sink.
:Huan still wants me to murder Mirar.
:Execute, not murder.
As her hopes were smothered she was surprised to find anger stirring.
:And if I refuse again? she found herself asking.
:You will be punished. To what degree I cannot guess. It took me some time to persuade the others to give you a second chance. I also insisted that you be given a day to reflect on the task and the consequences of refusing or obeying. While you do, consider this: sometimes we face a problem where all solutions are unpleasant, where the least damaging option must be chosen. Consider which choice is the least damaging to the people you are sworn to protect.
Mirar has no intention of acting against us.
:No? He may not now, but that does not mean he won’t try in the future. He is powerful and clever - you know that. He hates us - you know that too. Can you gamble that if the opportunity comes to cause trouble, he won’t take it?
Auraya shook her head.
:Consider what might happen if he decides to reclaim his role as leader of the Dreamweavers, he urged. He can influence and direct them from another land through dreams.
Her stomach sank. Even exile wasn’t a plausible alternative.
:And consider the possibility that you may still love Leiard.
:I don’t, she told him.
:No? I know your heart, Auraya. I know there is still attraction and affection there, confused and unresolved. He will keep you bound to him if he can, not just because he is still enchanted by you but because you will not harm him while you are unsure of your feelings. You will not be free to love again until those bonds are gone.
Auraya wrapped her arms around herself. She felt ill. Wretched. Torn.
:I cannot console you, Auraya, though I wish I could, Chaia said sorrowfully. I cannot be affectionate, or fend off your nightmares, lest the others think I am rewarding you for your disobedience. They agreed that I should speak to you, as you know me better. I ask as your friend and lover, do as Huan bids.
He moved away. For a long time she sat alone, thinking about all that he had said, then she rose and returned to the bowers. She needed to think, but the Siyee needed her help more.
Mirar drew magic and warmed the air around him. During the months he had treated the Siyee he had barely noticed the turning of the seasons, too caught up in his work. Now he felt the chill of winter in the air, especially in these last hours before dawn. He leaned back against a tree and closed his eyes.
Though he had travelled all day and most of the night, this stop wasn’t for rest or sleep. Clearing his mind, he sent himself into a dream trance.
:Emerahl?
They had communicated through dream links every few days since she had left. Recently she had grown secretive about her location or destination. He hoped that meant she’d had some success finding other immortals, but couldn’t yet tell him about it.
:Mirar? she replied.
:How is my travelling friend?
:Much the same as before. Lots of sailing, more sailing, and a little sailing on top.
:Bored, are we?
:No. I have some interesting paying passengers. You?
:Life just got a lot more interesting, he told her. The gods know who I am.
:What! How?
:I taught Auraya how to heal. The gods must have been watching.
:You idiot.
:Yes. Disappointed in me?
She was silent for a moment.
:No. I’m not surprised. You should have left as soon as she appeared, but you didn’t. I know you stayed because of the Siyee and I’m guessing you taught her for their sake.
:That’s true.
:I suspect that’s not your only reason for tossing aside all concern for your own safety. So how did Auraya take the news?
:She tried to kill me.
:Oh. She was silent for several heartbeats. She was prepared to break her promise, then.
:As she pointed out, her promise was to Leiard.
:Ah. Obviously she didn’t succeed in killing you. Why not?
:Because I opened my mind to her and showed her the truth.
:And that dissuaded her? How interesting. Do you think killing you was her idea or the gods‘?
:The gods. Huan appeared and urged her to do it.
