The Last of the Wilds

know the reason for Mirar’s disappearance, but the Blue Lake messenger had speculated at the possibility that there had been an argument between Auraya and Mirar.

“I know that he has left,” she said carefully. “And I know why, but I cannot speak of it except to say that I wish he did not need to and that there is nothing I can do to help him.”

Except do nothing, she added silently.

Sirri was intrigued, but she did not voice any of the questions that came to mind. They had reached Auraya’s bower. Mischief leapt off Auraya’s shoulder and darted inside.

“That is a shame,” Sirri said. “If you cannot help him, who can?”

“Only himself.” Abruptly Auraya remembered the friend she had seen in Mirar’s mind. Would the woman who had helped him regain his identity be able to help him again?

Sirri smiled and stepped away. “We have much to discuss tonight. What will you do next?”

“Convince Mischief to stay here, then visit the sick newcomers.”

Sirri nodded. As the Speaker walked away, Auraya entered her bower. Looking around, she noted the bowl of fruit and fresh jug of water sitting on a table. She silently thanked whoever had kept the place ready for her return, including taking care of Mischief.

The veez had climbed up to the hanging basket he used as a bed. His nose peeped over the edge, then he climbed onto the brim and leapt onto her shoulders.

“I think you’re heavier than before,” she told him. “Are you getting fat?” She scratched him under the chin.

“Msstf fat,” he agreed.

She laughed. He had recognized the Siyee word for “fat,” though she could see he didn’t understand it. People must have been saying it in his presence enough for him to associate it with himself.

“Have you been pestering people into giving you food?” she asked him.

He didn’t answer. His eyes were closed in appreciation of her scratching.

“Now, Mischief, stay. Auraya go and—”

:Where is she? Ah. Here she is.

She froze. The voice was Chaia’s. Her heart began to pound. Mischief leapt off her shoulders and turned to regard her, whiskers twitching. He could sense her agitation, but not the source of it. Then a glow began to form in the center of the room and the veez fled into the bedroom.

Auraya swallowed hard as the glow formed the shape of a man. Chaia was smiling, she saw with relief.

:Hello, Auraya.

:Hello, Chaia, she replied.

:Did you miss me?

She stared at him for a moment, unsure how to answer. It wasn’t the question she was expecting. His smile was the sort of playful expression he wore during his more amorous moods, but for some reason that disturbed and repelled her. As he stepped forward she had to resist the urge to back away.

:It’s a little hard to miss someone when you’re not sure if you’ll like what they’re going to do or ask of you when they return, she said, perhaps too bluntly.

His smile widened and he reached out to touch her cheek.

:It would be. But putting that aside, don’t you miss our nights together? Don’t you miss my touch?

Where his fingers passed through her skin she felt a delicious tingling. A shiver ran down her spine.

:Yes, she admitted. A little.

:Just a little? He pouted. Wasn’t I attentive enough?

She could not resist a smile.

:You were more than attentive enough. She stepped back out of his reach. But that was just physical pleasure, Chaia. I miss it. I even crave it sometimes. But...

:But? His eyebrows rose. You didn’t miss me, did you? You don’t love me?

She looked away. Now that he had confronted her with the question, she knew he was right.

:Not in the way human lovers do. Not in the way...

:The way you love Mirar, he finished, all humor gone from his face.

She felt a flash of anger.

:No. Nothing like what I feel for Mirar. Is it pity you want?

He stared at her, then smiled.

:I believe I asked for that. And I know you do not love me as you once loved Leiard. His eyes narrowed. What do you feel for me?

She considered.

:Something between love for a god and the love for a friend. I think... I think we are too different.

:I have always treated you as an equal, when we were alone together. You have done the same.

:Yes, but it isn’t about us pretending to be equals. She shook her head. A movement in the bedroom entrance caught her eye. Mischief was looking out. Maybe it is as implausible as expecting Mischief to feel romantic love for me. He is a veez, I am human. Gods and humans may be more similar than humans and veez, but not similar enough. There are so many differences in how we see the world. So much that we can’t get from each other that we can get from our own kind. I... She looked up at Chaia. But you know this. You can see my mind.

:I can only see what is, not what you have yet to decide, he told her.

She felt her heartbeat quicken.

:Then you can see what I have decided in other matters. What are you and the other gods going to do?

He shrugged, though his expression was now serious.

:We haven’t decided yet.

She frowned.

:Why not?

His mouth twisted into a crooked smile.

:We do not always agree on everything, Auraya.

:Then what options are you considering?

:Ah, he replied. That would be telling.

And he vanished. She felt a surge of anger and frustration.

:Chaia? Her senses told her he was still in the room. Chaia! I know you’re still here. I can sense you.

:I know you can. He drifted away, but before he faded from her senses words came to her like a distant voice blown to her on the wind.

:I expected you to refuse, Auraya. Know that you have made an enemy of one of the gods.

And then his voice faded to nothing. She turned around and around, wondering if he had been referring to her refusal to kill Mirar, or her admission that she didn’t love him like a human. Which of the gods had she made an enemy of: Chaia or another?

Imi walked slowly around her room, touching everything. She had done this several times in the last few days, not sure if it was to reassure herself that she was truly home, or to remind herself how much had changed.

The carvings around the walls had never interested her as they did now. As a child she had liked them for what they represented: famous Elai, the goddess Huan, creatures of the sea. Now she saw the workmanship in them and she wondered how much landwalkers would pay for carvings like these.