Betrayed

a stronger mix­ture. That should have kept the nightmares from you, but clearly I underestimated the dosage you required.'

The dosage wasn't all she'd underestimated.

I smiled. 'Thanks, Neferet. I appreciate that.'

'Well, you should return to your friends, now. They are quite protective of you, and I'm sure they're worried.'

I nodded and walked with her back to the living room, careful not to show my disgust when she hugged me in front of everyone and said good-bye with the warmth of a mom. Actually, she was exactly like a mom, specifically my mom, Linda Heffer. The woman who had betrayed me for a man and cared more about herself and appearances than she cared about me. The similari­ties between Neferet and Linda were becoming clearer and clearer.

CHAPTER 27

We resettled in our little group after they left, and didn't say much as the room got back to normal. I noticed no one changed the local station. The Star Wars DVD was forgotten, at least for tonight.

'Are you okay?' Erik finally asked softly. He put his arm back around me and I snuggled against him.

'Yeah, I think so.'

'Did the cops have any news about Heath?' Damien asked.

'Nothing more than what we already heard,' I said. 'Or if they do, they weren't telling me.'

'Is there anything we can do?' Shaunee asked.

I shook my head. 'Let's just watch local TV and see what the ten o'clock news says.'

They mumbled okays and everyone settled in to watch the Will and Grace rerun marathon while we waited for the news. I stared at the TV, and thought about Heath. Did I have a bad feeling about him? Definitely. But was it the same bad feeling I'd had about Chris Ford and Brad Higeons? No, I didn't think so. I didn't know how to explain it. My gut said Heath was in danger, but it wasn't saying that he was dead. Yet.

The more I thought about Heath, the more restless I became. By the time the late news came on I could hardly sit through the stories on the unexpected blizzard that had caused a white-out in Tulsa and the surrounding area. I fidgeted while we watched the shots of downtown and the expressways, eerily empty and look­ing post- meteor-hit-or-nuclear-war-like.

There was nothing new on Heath except a grim report about how the weather was hampering search efforts.

'I have to go.' The words were out of my mouth and I was standing before my mind could remind me that I didn't have a clue where I was going or how I was going to get there.

'Go where, Z?' Erik asked.

My mind flailed around and landed on one thing—one little island of contentment in a world that had turned into stress and confusion and madness.

'I'm going to the stables.' Erik's look was as blank as everyone else's. 'Lenobia said that I could brush Persephone anytime I wanted to.' I moved my shoulders. 'Brushing her makes me feel calm, and right now I could use some calm.'

'Well, okay. I like horses. Let's go groom Persephone,' Erik said.

'I need to be alone.' The words sounded so much harsher than I'd meant them that I sat back down next to him and slid my hand in his. 'I'm sorry. It's just that I need time to think, and that's something I have to do alone.'

His blue eyes looked sad, but he gave me a little smile. 'How about I walk you to the stable, and then come back here and keep an eye on the news for you till you get through thinking?'

'I'd like that.'

I hated the worried looks on my friends' faces, but I couldn't do much to reassure them. Erik and I didn't bother with coats. The stable wasn't far. The cold wouldn't get a chance to bother us.

'This snow is awesome,' Erik said after we'd walked a little way down the sidewalk. Someone had attempted to plow it because it was way less deep on the sidewalk than the surrounding grounds, but the snow was coming down so steadily that the plows couldn't keep up with it and it was already up to midcalf on us.

'I kinda remember it snowing like this when I was six or seven. It was during Christmas break and it sucked that we didn't miss any school.'

Erik grunted a vague, guylike response, and then we walked on in silence. Usually, our silences weren't awkward, but this one felt weird. I didn't know what to say—how to make it better.

Erik cleared his throat. 'You still care about him, don't you? I mean, as more than just an ex-boyfriend.'

'Yes.' Erik deserved the truth, and I was totally sick of lies.

We'd come to the stable door, and stopped in the halo of a yel­low gaslight. The entryway shielded us from the worst of the snow, so it seemed like we were standing in a bubble inside a snow globe.

'And what about me?' Erik asked.

I looked up at him. 'I care about you, too. Erik, I wish I could fix this, make all of the bad stuff go away, but I can't. And I'm not going to lie to you about Heath. I think I've Imprinted him.'

I saw the surprise in Erik's eyes. 'From just that one time on the wall? Z, I was there, and you hardly tasted any of his blood at all. He just doesn't want to lose you, that's why he's so obsessed. Not that I blame him,' he added with a wry smile.

'I saw him again.'

'Huh?'

'It was just a couple days ago. I couldn't sleep, so I went to the Starbucks at Utica Square by myself. He was there putting up posters about Brad. I hadn't meant to see him, and if I'd known he was going to be there I wouldn't have gone. I promise you that, Erik.'

'But you did see him.'

I nodded.

'And you fed from him?'

'It—it just kinda happened. I tried not to, but he cut himself. On purpose. And I couldn't stop myself.' I kept my gaze squarely on his, asking him with my eyes to understand. Now that I was actually confronted with the very likely possibility that Erik and I were going to break up, I realized how much I didn't want that to happen, which definitely didn't help my confusion or my stress level because I did still care about Heath. 'I'm sorry, Erik. I didn't ask for it to happen, but it did, and now there's this thing between Heath and me, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it.'

He sighed deeply and brushed some snow off my hair. 'Okay, well, there's a thing between you and me, too. And someday, if we make it through this damn Change, we'll be alike. I won't turn into a wrinkled old man and die decades before you will. Being with me won't be something other vampyres will whisper about, and humans will hate you for. It'll be normal. It'll be right.' Then his hand was behind my neck and he was pulling me to him. He kissed me hard. He tasted cold and sweet. My arms went up around his shoulders and I kissed him back. At first I just wanted to make the hurt I was causing him go away. Then our kiss deep­ened, and we pressed our bodies together. I wasn't overwhelmed with blinding bloodlust for him, like what happened when I was with Heath, but I liked the way kissing Erik made me feel, all kinda warm and light-headed. Hell, the bottom line was that I liked him. A lot. Plus, he had a point. He and I would be right to­gether. Heath and I would not.

The kiss ended with both of us breathing hard. I cupped Erik's cheek in my hand. 'I really am sorry.'

Erik turned his head and kissed my palm. 'We'll figure this out.'

'I hope so,' I whispered, more to myself than him. Then I stepped away from him and put my hand on the old iron doorknob. 'Thanks for walking me here. I don't know when I'll be back. You shouldn't wait for me.' I started to open the door.

'Z, if you really did Imprint with Heath you might be able to find him,' Erik said. I paused and turned back to