Untamed

'I think you'll find out that all of that was instigated by Maleficent.'

'So what you're saying is the nuns have double cause to thank you. For your volunteerism and for helping them rid themselves of one very difficult feline?'

'Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Oh, and Sister Mary Angela asked me to check with you about a date that would work well for the flea market. She said she'd work their schedule around ours. Besides that, they're going to stay open late every Saturday night so that we can volunteer once a week.'

'That sounds lovely. I will meet with Neferet about a date that works best for the school.' Shekinah paused for a moment, and then added, 'Zoey, Neferet is your mentor, isn't she?'

I heard warning bells inside my head, but I forced myself to relax. I was going to answer Shekinah as honestly as I could in everything she asked me. I hadn't done anything wrong!

'Yes. Neferet is my mentor.'

'And do you feel close to Neferet?'

'I used to. We were very close when I first came here. Actually, my mom and I haven't been close for several years, and I kinda felt like Neferet was the mom I wish I'd had,' I said truthfully.

'But that has changed?' she asked gently.

'Yes,' I said.

'And why is that?'

I hesitated, choosing my words very carefully. I wanted to tell Shekinah as much of the truth as I dared, and for an instant I considered telling her everything—the whole truth about Stevie Rae and the prophecy and what we were afraid was happening, but my gut told me not to reveal everything now. Shekinah would learn the truth tomorrow. Until then, I didn't want Neferet to have any inkling about what was going to happen—about the fact that she was going to have to face what she had done, and what she was becoming.

'I'm not one hundred percent sure,' I said.

'What is your best guess?'

'Well, I think she's changed lately, and I'm not sure why. Some of it might have to do with some personal stuff that happened between us. I'd really rather not talk about that, if it's okay with you.'

'Of course. I understand your need to keep things that are private to yourself. But, Zoey, you should know that I am here for you to talk with if you need me. Though it was long ago, I remember very well what it was to be a powerful fledgling and to feel like I was carrying so many responsibilities that the burden of them sometimes became too much to bear.'

'Yeah,' I said, suddenly having to fight back tears. 'That's exactly what it feels like sometimes.'

Her candid gaze was warm and kind. 'It gets better. I can promise you that.'

'I really hope so,' I said. 'Oh, and speaking of making things better—my grandma would like to come for a little visit. She and I are really close. I meant to spend some of winter break with her, but, well, you know that break was called off. So Grandma said she'd like to come here to spend some time with me. Do you think it would be okay if she stayed at the school?'

Shekinah studied me carefully. 'There are guest rooms in the professors' building, but I believe they are all filled right now because of my visit and the influx of the Sons of Erebus.'

'Could she maybe stay in my room with me? My roommate, Stevie Rae, died last month, and I haven't gotten a new one, so I have an empty bed and everything.'

'I suppose I don't see any harm in that. If your grandmother is comfortable with being surrounded by so many fledglings.'

I grinned. 'Grandma likes kids. Plus, she knows a bunch of my friends here, and they all like her.'

'Then I'll let the Sons of Erebus, as well as Neferet, know that you have permission for your grandmother to visit and to stay in your room. Zoey, you know that asking for special favors is not always wise, even if you have special abilities.'

I met Shekinah's gaze steadily. 'This is the first favor I have asked for since I came to the House of Night.' Then I thought about it for a second and corrected myself. 'No, wait. It's the second. The first favor I asked for was to keep a few of my roommate's things after she died.'

Shekinah nodded slowly, and I hoped as hard as I could that she believed me. I wanted to yell: Check it out with the other professors! They know I don't ask for special treatment! But I couldn't say anything to let Shekinah believe that I'd overheard her conversation with Neferet.

'Well, good. Then you're already starting down the right road. Gifts from our Goddess don't mean privilege— they mean responsibility.'

'I understand that,' I said firmly.

'I think maybe you do,' she said. 'Now, I'm sure you have homework to catch up on and a ritual to prepare to lead tomorrow, so I will bid you a good night and hope that you will blessed be,' she said.

'Blessed be.' I saluted her formally again, bowed, and left the room.

Things really hadn't gone so bad. Sure, Neferet was lying her butt off about me and was clearly an evil-filled bitch, but I'd already known that. Shekinah wasn't stupid, and she certainly wouldn't be made into Neferet's fool (like Loren had been, my mind whispered). Grandma was on her way to the school, and she was going to stay with me while we figured out this whole prophecy thing. My friends finally knew everything, so I didn't have to constantly make excuses and evade them, and they had my back, even though just thinking about the Raven Mockers creeped me totally out. But I could handle the creeping-out part with my friends by my side. And tomorrow everyone would know about Stevie Rae and the red fledglings, and Neferet would lose the power of secrecy. Then maybe Stark wouldn't really be dead, and would come back himself. Things really were looking up! I was just opening the door to the front of the building and grinning like a fool when I ran smack into Erik.

'Oh, sorry I wasn't looking—,' he began, automatically reaching out to steady me before he realized who he'd almost knocked over. 'Oh,' he repeated, this time in a much less nice-guy voice. 'It's you.'

I pulled my arm out of his hand and stepped back, brushing my hair from my face. Looking up into his cold blue eyes was like taking a nosedive into freezing water—and I'd just about had enough cold water splashed in my face by him.

'Look, I have something to say to you.' I moved in front of him, blocking his way into the building.

'So say it.'

'You liked kissing me today. You liked it a lot.'

His smile was mocking and very well rehearsed. 'Yeah, so? I never said I didn't like kissing you. The problem is too many guys have liked kissing you.'

I felt my face go hot. 'Don't you dare talk to me like that!'

'Why not? It's true. You were kissing your human boyfriend. You were kissing me. And you were kissing Blake. As far as I'm concerned, that's a lot of guys.'

'Since when you do turn into such a jerk? You knew about Heath. I never tried to hide him from you. You knew it was hard for me being Imprinted with him and caring about you at the same time.'

'Yeah, what about Blake? Explain that.'

'Loren was a mistake!' I yelled, finally tipping over that line of self-control. I was tired of Erik judging me for something I'd beaten myself up about more times than I could count. 'You were right. He was using me. Only it wasn't for sex—that was just the way he got me to believe he loved me. You overheard the scene between Neferet and me. You know there's more going on here than everyone thinks. Neferet sent Loren, her lover, to seduce me—to make me believe he loved me because I'm special.' I paused, wiping angrily at the tears that were somehow falling out of my eyes. 'But really he was after me so that I could piss off all my friends and be alone and hurt and distracted so my powers didn't mean anything anymore. And it would have worked if Aphrodite hadn't stood by me. You sure as hell didn't take one second to give me a chance to explain.'

Erik ran his hand through his thick dark hair. 'I saw him making love to you.'

'You know what you saw, Erik? You saw him using me. You saw me making the biggest mistake of my life. At least so far. That's what you saw.'

'You hurt me,' he said softly, all the anger and jerkness going out of his voice.

'I know and I'm sorry. But I guess we didn't have much together in the first place if we can't learn to forgive each other for this mess.'