me her what’s going on inside your head now? look.
“Sorry, what were you saying about Nyx?”
“Just that I really don’t think Nyx and the dang Virgin Mary have anything to do with each other; Jesus’ mama definitely didn’t help me move the earth to make this tunnel.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings or nothin’ like that, Sister, but that’s what I think.”
“You’re entitled to your own opinion, Stevie Rae,” said the nun, looking as calm as usual. “But you should know that saying you don’t believe in something doesn’t make it any less possible that it exists.”
“Well, I’ve been giving this some thought, and personally I don’t find it such an odd hypothesis,” Damien said. “You should remember that in your Fledgling Handbook 101, Mary is illustrated as one of the many faces of Nyx.”
“Huh,” I said. “Really?”
Damien gave me a stern look that clearly said you really should be a better student before he nodded, and in his best schoolteacher voice continued, “Yes. It is well documented that during the influx of Christianity into Europe, shrines to Gaea, as well as Nyx, were converted to shrines for Mary long before people converted to the new…”
Damien’s droning on and on was a soothing background as I peered into the tunnel. The darkness was deep and thick. Just inches behind Stevie Rae I could see nothing. Absolutely nothing. I stared, imagining forms hiding there. Someone or something could be lurking mere feet from us and we’d never know it, not if they didn’t want to be seen. And that scared me.
Okay, but that’s ridiculous! I told myself. It’s just a tunnel. Still, my irrational fear pushed at me. Which, sadly, pissed me off and made me want to push back. So, like every moronic blond extra in a horror movie, I took one step into the darkness. And then another.
The dark swallowed me.
My mind knew I was only a couple of feet from the root cellar and my friends. I could hear Damien blabbing about religion and the Goddess. But my mind wasn’t what was beating in terror against my chest. My heart, my spirit, my soul—whatever you want to call it—was screaming soundlessly for me to run! Get away! Go!
I felt the pressure of the earth as if it wasn’t a hole in the ground, but instead it had filled in, covering me… suff ocating me… trapping me.
My breath was coming faster and faster. I knew I must be hyperventilating, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to back away from the hole that snaked away from my feet into the darkness, but all I could manage was a stumbled half step back. I couldn’t make my feet do what I was telling them to do! Dots of lights sparkled in my eyes, blinding me, while everything else started to go gray. Then I was falling… falling…
Zoey
The darkness was unrelieved. Blinding more than my sight, it wiped away all of my senses. I thought I was gasping for breath and flailing around, trying to find something—anything I could touch, hear, or smell—anything that would give me a handhold on reality. But I had no sensation at all. The cocoon of darkness and the fluttering of my frantic heartbeat were all I knew.
Was I dead?
No, I didn’t think so. I remembered that I’d been in the tunnel under the Benedictine Abbey, only a few feet away from my friends. I’d been freaked out by the darkness, but that couldn’t have made me drop dead.
But I’d been afraid. I remembered being very afraid.
Then there had been nothing but this darkness.
What’s happened to me? Nyx! My mind screamed. Help me, Goddess! Please show me some kind of light!
“Listen with your soul…”
I thought I cried aloud at the sweet, reassuring sound of the Goddess’s voice in my mind, but when her words were gone, there was only the unrelenting silence and darkness.
How in the hell was I supposed to listen with my soul?
I tried to calm myself and hear something, but there was just silence—a soul-sucking, black, empty, utter silence like nothing I’d ever before experienced. I had no framework to guide me here, I only knew—
The realization struck me and my mind reeled with understanding.
I did have a framework to guide me. Part of me had experienced this darkness before.
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t do anything but turn within myself, questing for the part of me that might be able to make sense of this, that might be able to guide me out of here.
Memory stirred again, this time taking me back long before the night in the tunnel under the abbey. The years fell away with my re sis tance until finally, finally I felt again.
My senses returned slowly. I began to hear more than my own thoughts. There was a drumbeat that pulsed around me, and within it were woven the distant voices of women. The sense of smell returned to me, and I recognized the dank scent that reminded me of the abbey tunnel. Finally, I could feel the earth against my naked back. I only had an instant to sift through the flood of my returned senses before the rest of my awareness was jolted awake. I wasn’t alone! My back was pressed against the earth, but I was being held tightly in someone’s arms.
Then he spoke.
“Oh, Goddess, no! Do not let this be!”
It was Kalona’s voice, and my immediate reaction was to cry out and struggle blindly away from him, but I wasn’t in charge of my body and the words that came from my mouth were not my own.
“Sssh, do not despair. I am with you, my love.”
“You trapped me!” Even as he cried the accusation, his arms tightened around me, and I recognized the cold passion of his immortal embrace.
“I saved you,” my strange voice responded as my body settled more intimately against his. “You were not meant to walk this world. That is why you have been so unhappy, so insatiable.”
“I had no choice! The mortals do not understand.”
My arms wrapped around his neck. My fingers twined through his soft, heavy hair. “I understand. Be at peace here with me. Lay down your sad restlessness. I will comfort you.”
I felt his surrender before he spoke the words. “Yes,” Kalona murmured. “I will bury my sadness within you and my desperate longing will finally be spent.”
“Yes, my love, my consort, my Warrior… yes…”
It was that moment that I lost myself within A-ya. I couldn’t tell where her desire ended and my soul began. If I still had a choice, I didn’t want it. I only knew that I was where I was destined to be—in Kalona’s arms.
His wings covered us, keeping the chill of his touch from burning me. His lips met mine. We explored each other slowly, thoroughly, with a sense of wonder and surrender. As our bodies began to move together I knew complete joy.
And then, suddenly, I started to dissolve.
“No!” The scream was wrenched from my throat and my soul. I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to stay with him. My place was with him!
But, again, I wasn’t in control, and I felt myself fading away, rejoining the earth, as A-ya sobbed, her broken voice echoed one word in my head: REMEMBER…
