Awakened

Aphrodite started to laugh and then covered it with a cough when I left the bathroom and glared at all of them. “We’re getting ready to go to a funeral. I think we should show a little more respect for Jack, being as he was our friend and all.”

The Twins instantly looked contrite. They came over to me and each gave me a hug, mumbling his and glad you’re backs.

“Z has a point about bein’ more serious, and not just ’cause it’s Jack’s funeral and that’s real terrible. We all know there’s no way Neferet has suddenly decided to do the right thing and respect Zoey and her powers,” Stevie Rae said.

“We need to be on our guard,” I agreed. “Stay close to me. Be ready. If I have to cast a protective circle, I don’t imagine I’ll have much time to do it.”

“Why don’t you cast one to begin with?” Aphrodite said.

“I was gonna, but I looked up stuff about a vampyre funeral, and the High Priestess usually doesn’t cast one. It’s her job, well, uh, I mean my job tonight, to stand as respectful witness to the loss of a fellow vampyre, and to help send the vampyre’s spirit to Nyx’s Otherworld. There’s no circle casting involved in that, just prayers to Nyx and such.”

“You should be good at that, Z, since you just got back from the Otherworld,” Stevie Rae said.

“I just hope I do Jack proud.” I felt the tears start to sting my eyes and I blinked hard, forcing them back. The last thing any of my friends needed was for me to be a bawling, snotting mess tonight.

“So none of you have any idea what Neferet’s up to?” I asked them.

There was a bunch of head shaking, and Aphrodite said, “All I can think is that she’s going to somehow try to humiliate you, but I don’t see how that can happen if you stay calm and strong and focus on why we’re all here tonight.”

“For Jack,” Shaunee said.

“To say bye to him,” Erin said, her voice shaking a little.

“Well, that’s nice and all,” Stevie Rae said, and we looked at her. “But I think funerals, no matter what they’re like, are mostly for the people left behind, like Damien.”

“That’s a really good point, Stevie Rae.” I smiled at her in gratitude. “I’ll remember that.”

Stevie Rae cleared her voice. “I know because I saw my mama today, and she was kinda holdin’ a mini funeral for me. It was her way of tryin’ to find closure.”

I had a moment of intense shock while the Twins exploded with “Ohmygoddess, how awful!”

“She came here?” Aphrodite asked. I was surprised at how kind her voice sounded.

Stevie Rae nodded. “She was out by the front gate leavin’ me a funeral wreath, but really what she was doin’ was what Damien is gonna try to do tonight: saying goodbye.”

“You talked to her, didn’t you?” I said. “I mean, she knows you’re not dead anymore, right?”

Stevie Rae smiled, even though her eyes still looked super sad. “Yeah, but it made me feel awful that I hadn’t gone to her first. It was terrible to see her cry so much.”

I went to my BFF and hugged her. “Well, at least she knows now.”

“And at least you have a mom who cares enough to cry about you,” Aphrodite said.

I met Aphrodite’s gaze with complete understanding. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“Y’all please, your mamas would be crying if something happened to you,” Stevie Rae said.

“Mine would in public because it’s expected of her, and because she’d be so prescription-med-ed up that she could work up a tear over just about anything,” Aphrodite said blandly.

“Well, I guess mine would cry, too, but it’d be all about how could she have done this to me and now she’s going straight to hell and it’s all her fault.” I paused and then added, “My grandma would say it’s too bad that my mom doesn’t understand that there’s more than just one right answer about forever.” I smiled at my friends. “I know ’cause I’ve been there and it’s wonderful. Really, really wonderful.”

“Jack’s there, isn’t he? Safe, in the Otherworld, with the Goddess?”

We all looked up to see Damien standing in the doorway that the Twins had left open. Darius was on one side of him and Stark was on the other. Damien looked absolutely horrible, even though he was dressed immaculately in Armani. He was so pale it seemed I could see through his skin, and the shadows under his eyes looked like bruises. I walked over to him and took him into my arms. He felt thin and frail and totally un-Damien- like.

“Yes. He is with Nyx. I give you my word on that as one of her High Priestesses.” I hugged him and whispered, “I am so sorry, Damien.”

Damien returned my hug and then, with an effort, stepped back. He wasn’t crying. Instead he looked drained—empty—hopeless.

“I’m ready to go, and I’m really glad you’re here.”

“So am I. I wish I’d been here before.” I felt tears start to threaten again. “Maybe I could have—”

“No, you couldn’t have,” Aphrodite said, stepping up to stand beside me. Again, her voice was softened with understanding and she sounded way older than nineteen. “You couldn’t stop Heath’s death. You wouldn’t have been able to stop Jack’s.” My eyes briefly met Stark’s and I saw in his gaze a reflection of what I was thinking—that I’d stopped his death. Even if it meant he had nightmares and still wasn’t one hundred percent, at least he was alive.

“Seriously, stop it, Z,” Aphrodite said. “All of you—don’t start the self-blame game. The only one responsible for Jack being dead is Neferet. We know that, even if no one else does.”

“I can’t deal with that right now,” Damien said, and for a second I thought he might actually faint. “Do we have to face down Neferet tonight?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not planning anything like that.”

“But we can’t control what she’ll do,” Aphrodite said.

“Stark and I will stay close. The rest of you be sure you’re near Zoey and Damien. We won’t begin anything, but if Neferet attempts to harm any of us, we will be ready.”

“I’ve seen her in front of the Council. I don’t think she’s gonna do anything as obvious as attackin’ Z,” Stevie Rae said.

“Whatever she does, we’ll be ready,” Stark echoed Darius’s words.

“I won’t be ready,” Damien said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fight anything again.”

I took Damien’s hand in mine. “Well, tonight you won’t have to. If there’s a battle to be fought, your friends will do it. Now let’s go see to Jack.”

Damien drew in a long, shaky breath, nodded, and we left my room. Still holding Damien’s hand, I led the group down the stairs and out into the common room, which was completely empty. I mentally sent a small prayer up to the Goddess: Please let everyone already be out there—please let Damien know how much Jack was loved.

We walked down the sidewalk that led around the front part of the school. I knew where we were going. I remembered all too well that Anastasia’s pyre had been placed in the center of the school grounds, directly in front of Nyx’s Temple.

As we moved along the sidewalk in silence a small sound caught me and I glanced at a bench that rested under a redbud tree near the front of the school. Erik was sitting there, alone. His face was in his hands and the sound I’d heard was his crying.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Zoey

I almost kept walking by, and then I remembered that before he’d gone through the Change, Erik had been Jack’s roommate. And because of that I also remembered that it didn’t matter just then what had happened between him and me. I was serving the role of High Priestess tonight for Jack, and I knew beyond any doubt Jack wouldn’t want me to let Erik sit out there all by himself, crying.

Plus I had a sudden flash though my mind of the time when Erik had found me crying after my first,