Destined

“But it’s not like either of those things for me. I’m not a vampyre, and my mom was killed—she didn’t just die of old age.”

“Were you very close to your mother?”

I blinked hard, not wanting to cry. “No. Not for the past three years.”

“So, is your biggest struggle the manner of her death?”

I thought carefully about her question before I answered Thanatos. “I think that is part of it. I think knowing exactly what happened to her would help me have closure. But there’s also the fact that now that she’s gone, there’s no chance she and I will be close again.”

“But that chance is only over for you and her in this lifetime. If she waits in the Otherworld you could reunite there,” Thanatos said. “Did she know the Goddess?”

I smiled, this time through my tears. “Mom didn’t know Nyx, but Nyx knew my mom. The Goddess sent me a dream the night she died. I saw Mom being welcomed to the Otherworld.”

“Well, then, that sadness should be alleviated from your spirit. All that remains is the uncertainty surrounding her death.”

“Her murder,” I corrected her. “Mom was killed.”

There was a long silence and then she asked, “Exactly how was your mother killed?”

“The police say by druggies who were ripping off my grandma’s house. Mom was there and got in the way.” My voice sounded as hollow as I felt.

“No, I mean how was she killed? What were her wounds?”

I remembered Grandma saying that her murder had been vicious, but that Mom hadn’t suffered. I also remembered the shadow that had passed over Grandma’s expression when she’d told me about it. I swallowed hard again. “It was violent. That’s all Grandma told me.”

“Your grandmother saw her body?”

“Grandma found her.”

“Zoey, is there any way your grandmother would speak with me about your mother’s murder?”

“I’m sure she’d talk to you. Why? What good would that do?”

“I do not want you to become overly hopeful, but if a death is very violent the very fabric of the earth is sometimes imprinted and I can access those images of death.”

“You could see how Mom was killed?”

“Perhaps. Only perhaps. But I need to question your grandmother first to know if it might even be possible.”

“I can’t guarantee how much Grandma will say. Right now she’s observing the seven days of ritual cleansing after a death.” In response to Thanatos’s questioning look I explained. “Grandma’s a Cherokee Wise Woman. She keeps the ancient religion and its ways.”

“Then it is important that I speak with her immediately if there is any hope of resurrecting the images from your mother’s death. How many days have passed since her murder?”

“She was killed last Thursday night.”

Thanatos nodded. “Tomorrow will be the fifth night since her death. I need to speak with your grandmother today.”

“Okay, well, I’d take you out to the lavender farm, but I know she doesn’t want anyone out there until it’s cleansed.”

“Zoey, does your grandmother not have a cell phone?”

“Uh, yeah. You wanna call her?”

Thanatos’s lips tilted up. “It is the twenty-first century, even for me.”

Feeling like a moron, I rattled off Grandma’s cell number while Thanatos put it in her iPhone.

“I will call her, but I would rather do so alone.”

Thanatos’s look said she really didn’t want me to hear the kind of questions she was gonna ask Grandma, and I quickly nodded. “Yeah, I understand. That’s okay with me. I need to get to sixth hour anyway.”

“May I ask your forgiveness first?”

“Yeah, sure. But what for?”

“I told an untruth earlier. I would ask your forgiveness for it, and I would also ask that you keep what I am about to tell you close to your heart. Do not even share it with your Warrior or your best friend.”

“Okay. I’ll keep it secret.”

“When Stark asked if I could see the Darkness that surrounds Neferet and Dallas’s red fledglings, my answer was a lie.”

I blinked. “You mean you can see Darkness?”

“I can.”

I shook my head. “You need to ask Stark and Rephaim and Stevie Rae for forgiveness, too. They’re the ones who can see Darkness with you—they’re the ones the lie would hurt most.”

“They cannot know. I have your word that you will keep this secret.”

“Why? Why should I know and not them?”

Instead of a clear answer, she just started talking. “I have lived almost five centuries. For most of that time I have dealt with death daily. I have seen Darkness. I have seen its carnage, its waste, its wages. I recognize its threads and shadows all too well. Perhaps it is because I have watched it for so long that I can also see that which is its opposite—that which causes the strength of Darkness to weaken, to falter.”

“What are you talking about!” I wanted to scream.

“You, Zoey Redbird. There is something about you that cannot be touched by Darkness; therefore, it is your fate to stand in the Light and lead the battle against evil.”

“No. I don’t want to lead any battle. You do it. Or ask Darius to. Or even Stark. Hell, get Sgiach and the Guardians! They’re all leaders. They’re all Warriors who know how to fight. I don’t know anything. I don’t even know what to do without my mom.” I ended up gasping for breath and pressing my hand against my chest. When Thanatos didn’t speak, when she just held me with her dark eyes I finally managed a less crazy voice and said, “I don’t want this. I just want to be a normal kid.”

“That may be part of why this has fallen on your shoulders, young High Priestess, because you do not want it. Perhaps the power that goes with the claiming of it will not be able to corrupt you.”

“Like Frodo,” I whispered, more to myself than to Thanatos. “He never wanted the damn ring.”

“J. R. R. Tolkien. Good books—excellent movies.”

I gave her a look and said, “Yeah, I know. It’s the twenty-first century. You probably have cable.”

“I definitely have cable.”

“That’s cool for you, but let’s go back to the Ring Bearer stuff. Uh, if I remember correctly, and I do ’cause I’ve seen the long extended version of the movies like a gazillion times, Frodo is basically destroyed by this ring he didn’t want to bear.”

“And thereby he saved his world from Darkness,” Thanatos said.

I felt a freezing shiver wash down my spine. “I don’t want to die. Not even to save the world.”

“Death comes to us all,” Thanatos said.

I shook my head again. “I’m no Ring Bearer. I’m just a kid.”

“A kid who’s already won her life back from Darkness, not once but several times.”

“Okay, if you get that—and if you get that Neferet is on the side of Darkness ’cause you can see it why are you pretending like you don’t?”

“I am here to settle the issue of Neferet and her true allegiance once and for all.”

“Then tell the High Council about the Darkness that surrounds her!”

“And have her admonished slightly only to return, perhaps stronger, to do more evil? What if she is really the Consort of Darkness? If that is truth, then the full might of the High Council must come against her, and for that to happen we must have unequivocal proof that she is forever lost to the Goddess.”

“That’s why you’re here. To get that proof.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t say anything about you seeing Darkness. And I’m telling you the honest truth—get ready to see a