“I could feed you some line of bullshit, if that’s what you want?”
“No, that’s not what I want, Jules. I want to know why you blew me off.”
Julian made no reply.
“Fine,” said Eleanor. She started to close the window.
“Wait, Ellie. Truth is, there was something important I had to do.”
“You mean like getting wasted with Kyle.”
“I didn’t get wasted with Kyle.”
Eleanor made a sceptical humph. “Have you looked in the mirror this morning? Your eyes are totally bloodshot.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t get-” Julian broke off, realising he was saying more than he wanted to.
Eleanor’s frown intensified. “Oh, I see. You got wasted, just not with Kyle. So who was it then?”
Again, Julian said nothing.
Eleanor heaved a sigh. “Go home, Julian,” she said. Then she shut the window and the curtains. Julian threw more gravel at the glass. In the old days, she’d have reappeared, they’d have spoken some more and, finally, he’d have wheedled his way round her. But this time she didn’t reappear. He returned to his car. He didn’t go home, though. He drove to Kyle’s house — or rather, his parents’ house. Kyle’s mum let him in and he went into Kyle’s bedroom and opened the curtains. Kyle squinted over the top of his duvet. “What the fuck you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”
“It’s seven-thirty.”
“Yeah, like I said, the middle of the fucking night.”
“Your mum told me to tell you to get your arse out of bed and ready for college.”
Kyle dropped his head back on his pillow and groaned, “Bollocks to that.” He pulled a spliff from under his pillow and lit it. “Shake and bake,” he said, passing it to Julian. “So come on, bro, lay it on me. Why are you here disturbing my beauty sleep?”
“I’ve seriously blown it with Eleanor this time.”
“Yeah, I kind of guessed that from your sorry-assed-face. What happened?”
“I stood her up for Mia Bradshaw.”
Kyle jerked his head up, eyes astonished, inquiring. “You what? Are you off your fucking head?”
“It’s not what you think. I wanted to talk to her about, well, about something that happened in the last few days.” Julian hesitated.
“Go on, spit it out.”
“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I guess you’re going to find out soon enough anyway.”
Julian told Kyle about Joanne Butcher. “Hoooly shit,” exclaimed Kyle. “I fucking told you. I told you she was dead, didn’t I? How did it happen, do you think?”
“How would I know?”
An almost ghoulish light in his eyes, Kyle asked, “Had she been, like, mutilated or anything?”
“I didn’t get close enough to see.” Julian knew better than to mention the bite marks.
“Jesus, this is massive.” Kyle glanced around himself. “Where’s my moby? I’ve got to tell everyone about this!”
“You can’t do that. You’ll drop me in it big time.”
Kyle pursed his lips disappointedly. “Can’t I tell just a few people? I mean, what difference would it make? You know what this town’s like. Half the people in it probably know by now anyway.”
“That’s not the point. Look, I’m asking you to keep this to yourself until it comes out in the newspapers. Then you can blabber on about it as much as you want with whoever you want.”
“Aw, where’s the fun in that?”
“Where’s the fucking fun in talking about it at all?” Julian snapped.
“Alright, chill, bro.” Kyle held up a conciliatory hand. “Jesus, you’re so fucking uptight these days.”
“Yeah, well I haven’t slept much in the last few days.”
“There’s no wonder about that, is there? Listen, if you want me to keep my gob shut, I’ll keep it shut.”
“Cheers. Sorry for getting shitty.”
“No worries.” Kyle passed Julian the spliff. “Have another toot on that. That’ll sort you out.”
Julian heaved the smoke out in a sigh. “Sometimes life can be a real pile of shit.”
“Tell me about it. My first class isn’t until eleven. If you hadn’t come knocking, I could’ve got in another couple hours of kip.” When Julian flashed him an annoyed look, Kyle chuckled and added. “Just kidding, bro. Look, tell you what, I’ll skip college today. We can chill around the house, head out to a few bars later, whatever. It’ll be like old times.”
“I dunno, I’m supposed to be studying.” Julian pictured himself sat alone in his bedroom, brooding. The thought almost made him groan aloud. “Actually, y’know what, bollocks to it. Bollocks to studying.”
“That’s the spirit, m’boy.” Kyle stretched out his hand. “Hey, man, don’t Bogart it.”
“I’m off to work now, Kyle,” his mum called up the stairs. “Don’t be late for class.”
“I won’t, Mum. See you later.”
They went downstairs and sat slumped in front of the morning cartoons, munching on cereal, cake, crisps and whatever else took their fancy. “So what’re you going to do about Eleanor?” Kyle asked.
Julian shrugged. He didn’t know what he was going to do about her. He didn’t know what he was going to do about Mia, the dreams, university — about anything. His thoughts were as confused as his emotions. A feeling of dizziness, like vertigo, swelled up inside him. He attempted to shove it back down with a deep suck of smoke.
“Do you still like her and all that?”
“Sure I like her.”
“Yeah, but do you, y’know, really like her? ’Cos I mean, and don’t take this the wrong way, bro, if you don’t really like her, maybe you should keep your distance from her.”
“Fucking hell, Kyle, you sound like my mum.”
“Alls I’m saying is-”
“Yeah, I know,” cut in Julian. “She doesn’t deserve to be fucked around by the likes of me.”
“Well she doesn’t.”
“Just drop it, will you. All I want to do is get stoned and think about nothing.”
At midday, they dragged themselves out of the ruins of their gluttony for a tour of the local pubs and bars. By the time they got to The Cut, they were staggering drunk. Some of Kyle’s college mates were there. There was a lot of gossip about Joanne Butcher. A rumour was doing the rounds that she’d fled town after getting in deep with a drug dealer. Julian kept a sharp eye on Kyle, who sat chewing his lips, obviously struggling to keep the secret from bursting forth. When Kyle’s mates drifted away, Julian fell to muttering into his pint, “Trapped in a box. Ah, what’s the fucking point?”
“What are you gibbering about?”
“University. I mean, it’s all a load of bollocks anyway. And when it’s over I’m just gonna end up back where I started. So what’s the fucking point of it? Way I see it, I might as well jack it in right now and go to work for my dad.”
Kyle choked out a mouthful of smoke. “Fuck me, bro, you really have had too much to drink. Come on, let’s go get a burger.”
The food sobered Julian up a bit. A dull ache grew in his head, as he thought about his mum, about the lines around her eyes and the worry he’d seen in them that morning. “I’d better get home.”
“Aw, do you have to?” said Kyle. “It’s only early.”
“I really need to lie down, close my eyes.” Julian didn’t say sleep. He wanted rest, but not sleep. Not until he was too tired to avoid it.
As they left the fast-food restaurant, a junky black car pulled over in front of them, grinding rock music pumping out of its windows. Mia was sat in the back. In the front was the older woman and, behind the steering wheel, one of the men Julian had first seen her with in The Cut. Mia wound down her window and said to Julian, “Hey, rich boy. What you up to?”
“He’s going home,” said Kyle, as offhandedly as he dared when it came to Jake Bradshaw’s sister.
“We’re heading out to the bridge,” said Mia, ignoring him. “You want to come along? Just you, not your friend.”
