home address.” Julian turned away, quickening his pace. “Luring underage girls into kinky sex, that’s what you get your kicks out of, is it?” the man continued.
Julian paused to glance back at him, face arched into a deep frown. “What?”
“You like being tied up.”
Realising a neighbour must’ve seen him leave the house, Julian shook his head. “I already told you, you’ve got the wrong idea.”
“I don’t think so. And I don’t think the police will think so, either.”
“Talk to Mia, she’ll tell you.”
“Oh I intend to, when I see her.”
Julian continued walking. The man stood, arms crossed, at the end of his drive, watching him until he was out of sight. He wondered if the man would really contact the police. Even though he’d done nothing wrong, it gave him a headache thinking about having to explain himself to them. From the man’s parting words, it was apparent Mia was out somewhere. Julian headed to The Cut, but she wasn’t there. He considered checking out the bridge, but it was a good five miles away and he didn’t have enough money for a taxi. He heaved a sigh. He still really needed to talk to someone, try and get his feelings straight. But who? Definitely not Kyle. There wasn’t much use trying to get any sense out of him anytime, but especially not after eight o’clock. No, there was only one person he could talk to. He scrolled down the contacts on his mobile-phone until he got to ‘Eleanor’. His call rang through to her answering machine. He hung-up and redialled. This time she picked-up. “I don’t even know why I’m answering this,” she grumbled, berating herself more than him. “What do you want, Julian?”
“Just to talk.”
There was a pause, then, “Well, I’m waiting. Let’s hear it.”
“My head’s in a mess. I just had a big-time argument with my dad about university. I told him-”
“Hang on,” interrupted Eleanor. “I thought when you said you wanted to talk, you meant you were going to explain why you stood me up, not dump your problems on me.”
“I guess you could say my problems are part of the reason I stood you up. Look, can I come over?”
“No.”
“Well, can we at least meet up? Please, Eleanor, I wouldn’t ask unless I really needed someone to talk to.”
More silence. A sigh. “We can talk on the phone. That’s the best I can do. Okay?”
“Okay.” Julian was unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “Thanks for this, Ellie. I knew I could count on you,” he added quickly, not wanting to risk irritating her into retracting her offer. After all, talking on the phone was better than not talking at all. He told her about the argument with his dad.
“You want to quit uni,” Eleanor said, taken aback. “No wonder your dad’s angry.”
“Yeah, but like I said, what’s the point me wasting my time and their money doing something I don’t want to do?”
“But you don’t really want to work at the factory, either, do you?”
“No, but I’ve got no choice in that.”
“Why? It’s your life. You can do what you want with it.”
Julian sighed down the line. “You don’t understand. The factory is Dad’s life’s work, his legacy. He’s always dreamed of passing it down to me someday, and of me passing it down to my children. He’s got this whole big thing about giving future generations of our family the kind of security his parents couldn’t give him. If I told him I didn’t want to take it over, he’d be…Oh, man, I don’t even like to think about what he’d be.”
“And if you let him mould you into something you’re not, what will you be?”
Julian knew the answer to that — he’d be miserable and resentful, and end up hating himself and everyone around him, his dad most of all. He also knew that knowing that made no difference whatsoever. “If this was just about my dad, maybe I could say no. But this isn’t just about him, it’s about my mum too. And, no matter what, I can’t risk upsetting her.”
“How do you know she’d be upset?”
“Because she wants what Dad wants.”
“Are you sure about that? I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit, Julian. I know your mum, and I’m certain that what she wants more than anything is for you to be happy.”
“Perhaps I can be happy at the factory. Maybe I’ll get to like it in time.” Julian sounded unconvincing, even to his own ears.
“Maybe.”
Julian chewed his lip, like he always did when wrestling with uncertainty. “So you think I should talk to my mum?”
“I don’t see you’ve got any choice.”
Eleanor was right on both scores. All his mum had ever wanted was for him to be happy, and she was the only person who could change his dad’s mind. But the thought of bringing them into conflict sat uneasily on his shoulders. He huffed a breath down his nose. “Why does my dad have to be such a hard-nosed bastard? Everything’s got to be his way or no way at all. Why can’t he compromise just this once?”
“I guess he’s used to getting what he wants.” Eleanor added meaningfully, “Like someone else I know.”
“I’m no way as stubborn as him. I know how to compromise.”
“Really? You mean like when you refused to give it even a chance to see if it could work between us with you at uni.”
Oh man, you walked right into that one, Julian thought. “Please, Eleanor, my head’s not up to this.”
“Well do I at least get to know what all this has got to do with you standing me up?”
“Sorry, I’m not up to explaining that either.” When Eleanor let out a low snort as if that’s what she’d expected him to say, Julian hastened to add, “I will tell you, just not right now.”
“When then?”
“When I’ve sorted out what I’m going to do.”
The line was silent a moment. Eleanor’s voice was softer when she spoke again. “Good luck.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it.”
After hanging up, Julian made his way home, taking his time, thinking over what he wanted to say to his mum. He needed to make her realise he was serious about working at the factory — and for the right reasons, too. Only problem was it wasn’t for the right reasons. He didn’t even know the reasons for it. It wasn’t the path of least resistance — that was university. It wasn’t what he wanted — that was unknown. It wasn’t even out of a sense of duty to his dad. Not really. And yet, he sensed, there was a reason, only it lurked far behind his eyes, seemingly beyond the reach of his conscious mind.
“So what do I say?” Julian muttered to himself. “I want to work at the factory because I hate uni and can’t think of anything better to do.” He shook his head. There was no way that would cut it. He tried to catch hold of his thoughts, but they scuttled away into dark holes like rats in a kitchen. “Fucking fuck,” he hissed in frustration. Ever since he’d heard about Joanne Butcher, everything had been in turmoil. He stopped suddenly as if he’d walked smack into a wall. No, he realised, his brow pinching into a frown, this wasn’t about Joanne Butcher. It wasn’t even about the dreams. Sure, those things had compelled him to return home, but they weren’t what threatened to hold him here. That was down to something else, something more recent, more real. Mia. The name rang out in his mind like a bell. Could she be the reason? He doubted it, and yet from the first moment he’d seen her she’d held his attention like no other female ever had. Not because he desired her more than other girls, but because — because of what? He’d quickly come to care for her. Not like a potential lover or a friend. It was beyond that somehow. He didn’t know where the feeling came from or what it might lead to, all he knew was he needed to be close to her and to protect her with everything he had.
But even if Mia was the reason — and that seemed like a big if — he could hardly say that to his mum. He knew what she’d say if he did — she’d say he was infatuated. And maybe she’d be right, but not in the way she meant. No, he needed to give her something more concrete, less intangible. He needed to do the worst thing in the world — he needed to lie.
By the time Julian got home, he’d decided on the lie. He had a whole spiel worked out about how he’d made up his mind to leave university when he realised the factory was struggling. After all, what was the point of him studying business if there was no business left for him to takeover when he graduated? The business needed new blood, new ideas, a fresh injection of energy and enthusiasm. Together, he and Dad would turn things around.
