The Beasts Of Valhalla

Finally Gollum snorted, reached into a canvas shoulder bag she carried with her and took out a portable cassette player. Refusing even to look at me, she put the earphones over her head and turned on the machine.

'You upset her,' the fat lady said to me accusingly.

'What can I say to upset you, lady? All of you here seem happy as clams, but that's because you don't have the slightest idea of what's going on. Can I tell you?'

'You can't tell me anything, Dr. Frederickson,' the woman snapped, the eyes in the great folds of flesh that was her face glinting with annoyance. 'I'm not deaf; I heard the conversations between you and Hugo, and I thought Hugo was very patient with you. Paranoids can really get to you after a time, the way they keep pestering you with their stupid fantasies.'

'Is that what I am? Paranoid?'

'It's the drug you stole and injected yourself with. I understand that, and it's a good thing. If it weren't for my psychiatric training, I'd have slapped you in the face for what you said about Siegmund Loge.'

'You've met Siegmund Loge?!' That got a good spike out of the microphone monitoring my heart.

'Yes. A number of times.'

'He comes here?'

'Yes-to this facility. Hugo's just a farmhand, and Siegmund Loge doesn't bother himself with that part of the operation. That's just to keep the patients occupied.'

''Patients.' I love it. What do you do here?'

'What you see me doing. I run tests on the patients-myself included. As you can see, I have a glandular problem.'

'Have you been all through this building?'

'No, and don't you start with me. Siegfried Loge and that creepy kid of his may be no great shakes in the personality department, but Siegmund Loge is an absolute wonder. He could never be involved in anything that was wrong or hurtful to anyone. He's the kindest, warmest, gentlest human being I've ever met. With people and things in the world the way they are today, it's no wonder some young people think he's holy.'

Eye tests.

Howl.

There was no way my eyes could be examined without shining lights in them. It didn't kill me, despite a profound desire, but I must have done a lot of screeching, and I kept passing out.

The fourth time I woke up, the testing was over and I was apparently being allowed a rest period. There were no technicians around, and I was still strapped into the chair where they'd conducted the eye exam. The gorilla was leaning back against the wall, the cassette player cradled in her lap and the earphones over her head. She had a contented expression on her face, and occasionally she would waggle a leathery finger in time-I presumed-to whatever she was hearing.

'What are you listening to?' I asked loudly.

The question got no response on her keyboard-but she did glance at me out of the corners of her eyes. I motioned for her to remove the earphones. After some hesitation and a loud, impatient smacking of her lips, she did so.

?

WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT

'What are you listening to, Gollum?'

FUCKING MOZART

'Mozart?'

I SAID FUCKING MOZART

'You like fu… you like Mozart?'

MUCH FUCKING YES

'So do I. May I listen with you?'

She thought about it, finally heaved her chest in what I assumed was an indulgent gorilla sigh. She unplugged the earphone jack, and the strains of The Magic Flute filled the air.

'What else do you like besides Mozart?' I asked after a few minutes.

JUST LIKE FUCKING MOZART

'Why?'

MAKE GOLLUM NOT FUCKING SAD

'You mean Mozart makes you happy?'

MEAN MOZART MAKE GOLLUM

NOT FUCKING SAD

'You're sad when you don't listen to Mozart?'

FUCKING YES

'Why?'

FUCKING WRONG

'It's wrong to feel sad, or wrong to listen to Mozart?'

GOLLUM FUCKING WRONG

'I don't understand.'

She stared at me hard, and suddenly her yellow eyes were filled with-a profound sadness. Her thick lips trembled, and I had the distinct impression that she was debating whether or not, or how, to reply. Suddenly the fingers of both hands flew over the keyboard.

I stared at the screen in disbelief, a lump rising in my throat, tears welling in my eyes.

GOLLUM MADE FUCKING WRONG

GOLLUM HAVE FUCKING PERSON FEELINGS

GOLLUM NOT A FUCKING PERSON

GOLLUM NOT A FUCKING GORILLA

GOLLUM FUCKING WRONG

'Oh, my God,' I whispered in a choked voice. 'You understand that?'

GOLLUM FUCKING WRONG

GOLLUM NOT FUCKING STUPID

And she put her earphones back on.

CAT Scan.

Mmmmmmm.

Whatever else they were finding in my body, the machines would have blown out if they'd been able to measure rage. I was getting seriously pissed.

'Loge hurt you very badly when he made you wrong, didn't he?' I asked quietly.

Gollum studied me for a long time from beneath her thick, bony brows. Finally the answer came.

FUCKING YES

'I'm sorry I upset you before. I didn't mean to.'

FUCKING OKAY

'I'm also sorry Loge hurt you.'

?

FUCKING WHY

MASTER NOT FUCKING HURT YOU

'He has hurt me, and he is hurting me and my brother, but that isn't the point. I'm saying that I'm sorry he hurt you. You didn't deserve it. Neither do Garth and I deserve to be hurt.'

?

WHY MASTER HURT GOLLUM AND FUCKING PEOPLE

'Because Loge is a bad man.'

?

MASTER IS FUCKING WRONG

'Loge is bad-he's evil. He likes to hurt. That's much worse than being wrong.' I glanced over my shoulder,