the bloody Singlish — and what had presumably gotten her niece so upset was feeling the creature ricochet wildly around in her hands, beating its hard carapace against her palms as it strove to free itself, something that seemed much too large and alive to be contained for very long without inflicting a painful bite or sting.
Becoming aware of Miri's agitation, Kirsten had dashed over from where she'd been clipping a hedge across the yard, and had reached the poor kid just as she'd thrown her hands wide open to release the grasshopper, which had shot into the air like a rifle shell, escaping with a sort of ticking, clicking, fluttering sound that caused had Miri to jump with a shrill cry of startlement. It had taken Kirsten a while to get her settled down, and she'd only accomplished that after repeatedly assuring her the bug had gone away, far away, and would not be returning to exact some hideous insectile revenge upon her.
In a sense, Kirsten guessed that her own struggle to keep the truth locked up inside her had been akin to what happened to her niece — she had found herself scared and helpless, dealing with something that had proven much, much more of a handful than she'd bargained for.
And what in the world had she feared from Anna and Lin, anyway? How could any reaction be worse than letting them remain ignorant of the confusing, dangerous mess into which she'd gotten herself?
'Anna, please, listen to me,' she said now, fumbling for words. 'I'm so sorry…'
'Sorry?' Anna emitted a burst of harsh, pained laughter. 'What am I supposed to say to that? What am I supposed to do?'
Kirsten was shaking her head.
'I don't know,' she said. 'All I can tell you is that I never intended to bring any of this into your home. And that coming here was a terrible mistake. I'll be out by tonight if it's what you—'
'Shit, will you stop making things worse?' Anna said sharply. 'Bad enough you've been lying to us the entire time you've been here, letting us believe you're nursing a broken heart. Then I hear it's all about you being involved with spying on your employer, and this craziness about men ambushing you on one of the busiest streets in Singapore like something out of James Bond. And now, to make matters worse, you're saying dzai-jyan, good-bye, as if you think we'd be eager to see you walk out the door and get kidnapped, even killed, God only knows. I'm not sure whether to be angry, frightened, or insulted.'
Kirsten felt her throat getting thick with moisture, and swallowed.
'May I request,' she said, 'that 'forgiving' be added to your multiple choice?'
Anna held her gaze for a long, silent moment.
The silence grew.
'Yes,' she said finally, nodding. 'You may.'
Kirsten expelled a ragged sigh. 'I'm so mixed up, Anna,' she said, her voice barely above a whisper. 'Max… he knows my cell-phone number, and promised to be in touch within days. When I got into the cab, he was starting to give me someone's name, a person to call if I didn't hear from him, but I didn't catch it….'
'Kirsten, if you want my opinion, the people you ought to be calling are the police,' Anna said. 'This Max is the one who got you into trouble in the first place. I understand that you have feelings for him, but how do you know for a fact that he isn't a criminal? That the men who were waiting outside the hotel weren't the authorities?'
Kirsten shook her head vehemently.
'No,' she said. 'It isn't possible.'
'But you've only known the man a few months. Why are you so positive?'
'Because, while I may be five years younger than you, I'm not some little schoolgirl who's got her head screwed on backwards,' Kirsten said, her throat filling again. 'Look, I won't deny I'm in love with Max. Nor will I deny having had doubts about whether he shares that feeling, or even wondering on occasion whether my position at Monolith made me.. useful to him. But I know… I know… he cares for me.' Kirsten wiped her hand across her eyes, and it came away wet. 'You can go on arguing about whether he respected me in the morning, but he's not some kind of manipulative crook, or con man, or whatever. He risked his life to lead those men away from me. I can't just turn my back on him now.'
Anna sighed. 'That isn't what I was suggesting, and if you'd stop being defensive for a second you'd realize it,' she said. 'All I'm saying is that you — we — are in a very serious situation, and need to get help. What's so terribly wrong with the idea of calling the police? With at least considering it before some harm comes to you, me, Lin, or the children?'
Kirsten opened her mouth to speak, and realized she didn't have a clue what she wanted to say… but no, that wasn't right. That was being dishonest with herself, and she was supposed to be coming clean here. She had more than a clue. She knew, absolutely knew what needed to be said, and she could not allow pride and stubbornness to get in its way.
Suddenly she found herself overtaken by emotion, hitching out uncontrollable sobs.
Anna set her knife down on the counter, then came around to Kirsten's side and took one of her hands.
'Kirst, I didn't mean—'
'No, don't,' Kirsten said, furiously swiping tears from her eyes with her free hand, hating the tears as they poured down her cheeks in an unbottled stream. 'You did mean it, every word, and you're absolutely right. You let me stay here unconditionally, and in return I've put your entire family at risk. And that can't continue.'
Anna stood beside her in silence, looking at her, still holding her hand.
Meeting her sister's gaze, Kirsten leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek.
'It's time for me to take some advice besides my own,' she said. 'I'm calling the police.'
Chapter Fourteen
'You want to what?' Charles Klrby said, gripping the telephone in his Broadway office. 'I can't believe you're serious.'
'Believe it,' Gordian replied from clear across the United States. 'I've given some hard thought to the idea.'
Not easily jolted, Kirby felt like hanging onto his chair.
'We spoke less than two days ago, and you didn't mention—'
'That's because it hadn't occurred to me yet,' Gordian said. 'I said I thought hard about the whole thing. Not hard and long.' He paused. 'Sometimes it's a matter of recognizing when you've gotten a genuine inspiration.'
Still trying to recover his equilibrium, Kirby held the phone away from his mouth, inhaled, then slowly counted to ten. He glanced out the window, where many stories below and across the street people were hoisting placards in protest of something or other near the steps of City Hall, a more or less daily occurrence for as long as he'd had his office here. What was it that had brought them out today? He squinted to read the signs, realized he couldn't make out a word they said, and promptly forgot about them as he exhaled.
'Our paperwork for the antitrust suit's already three inches thick,' he said. 'We're almost ready to file it.'
'Then go ahead and do so,' Gordian said. 'We both know its real purpose is to buy time, and we can use all we can get.'
Kirby frowned. 'Gord, my job is to give you legal counsel and representation. I can't make decisions for you. But I hope you're aware of the risk you'd be taking by going ahead with this.'
'I can accept it,' Gordian said. 'Talk to somebody with a cold and you might get sick. Stroll past a construction site and a brick might fall down on your head. You can't crawl into a burrow.'
Kirby was silent. Breathe. Count to ten. Let it out
'You know, it's always a little scary when you get philosophical,' he said after a while. 'Just tell me you won't lock yourself on this plan until after you're back from Washington.'
'I'd rather get things in motion sooner,' Gordian said. 'As a matter of fact, I was going ask that you head out here to meet with me and Richard Sobel the morning before we fly.'
'But that's Thursday. The day after tomorrow,' Kirby said, flipping through his appointment book.
'I'll obviously understand if you can't make it, Chuck. Just as long as you understand that if you have any compelling reasons to dissuade me, it'll be your last chance to offer them.'
