Darkest Fear

'I need to find out about a donor.'

'This case is closed, Myron.'

'I know,' he said. 'But I think a new one might be opening.'

Stan Gibbs was at the anchor chair when Myron and Win arrived. His new cable show, Glib with Gibbs, was filming in Fort Lee, New Jersey, and the studio, like every television studio Myron had ever seen, looked like a room with the roof ripped off. Wires and lights hung in no discernible pattern. Studios, especially newsrooms, were always much smaller in person than on television. The desks, the chairs, the world map in the background. All smaller. The power of television. A room on a nineteen-inch screen somehow looks smaller in real life.

Stan wore a blue blazer, white shirt, red tie, jeans and sneakers. The jeans would stay under the desk and never get camera time. Classic anchorman-wear. Stan waved to them when they entered. Myron waved back. Win did not.

'We need to talk,' Myron said to him.

Stan nodded. He sent away the producers and motioned Myron and Win to the guest chairs. 'Sit.'

Stan stayed in the anchor chair. Win and Myron sat in guest chairs, which felt pretty strange, as though a home audience were watching. Win checked his reflection in a camera glass and smiled. He liked what he saw.

'Any word on a donor?' Stan asked.

'None.'

'Something will come through.'

'Yeah,' Myron said. 'Look, Stan, I need your help.'

Stan intertwined his fingers and rested both hands on the anchor desk. 'Whatever you need.'

'There's a lot of things that don't add up with Jeremy's kidnapping.'

'For example?'

'Why do you think your father took a child this time? He never did that before, right? Always adults. Why this time a child?'

Stan mulled it over, chose his words one at a time. 'I don't know. I'm not sure taking adults was a pattern or anything. His victims seemed pretty random.'

'But this wasn't random,' Myron said. 'His choosing Jeremy Downing couldn't have been just a coincidence.'

Stan thought about that one too. 'I agree with you there.'

'So he picked him because he was somehow connected with my investigation.'

'Seems logical.'

'But how would your father have known about Jeremy?'

'I don't know,' Stan said. 'He might have followed you.'

'I don't think so. You see, Greg Downing stayed up in Waterbury after our visit. He kept his eye on Nathan Mostoni. We know he didn't travel out of town until the day before the kidnapping.'

Win looked into the camera again. He smiled and waved. Just in case it was on.

'It's strange,' Stan said.

'And there's more,' Myron said. 'Like the call where Jeremy screamed. With the others, your father told the family not to contact the cops. But he didn't this time. Why? And are you aware that he wore a disguise when he kidnapped Jeremy?'

'I heard that, yes.'

'Why? If he planned on killing him, why go to the trouble of donning a disguise?'

'He kidnapped Jeremy off the streets,' Stan said. 'Someone might have been able to identify him.'

'Yeah, okay, that makes sense. But then why blindfold Jeremy once he was in the van? He killed all the others. He would have killed Jeremy. So why worry about him seeing his face?'

'I'm not sure,' Stan said. 'He might have always done it that way, for all we know.'

'I guess,' Myron said. 'But something about it all just rings wrong, don't you think?'

Stan thought about it. 'It rings funny,' he said slowly. 'I'm not sure it rings wrong.'

'That's why I came to you. All these questions have been swirling in my head. And then I remembered Win's credo.'

Stan Gibbs looked over at Win. Win blinked his eyes and lowered them modestly. 'What credo is that?'

'Man is into self-preservation,' Myron said. 'He is, above all, selfish.' He paused a moment. 'You agree with that, Stan?'

'To some degree, of course. We're all selfish.'

Myron nodded. 'You even.'

'Yes, of course. And you too, I'm sure.'

'The media is making you out to be this noble guy,' Myron said. 'Torn between family and duty and ultimately doing the right thing. But maybe you're not.'

'Not what?'

'Noble.'

'I'm not,' Stan said. 'I did wrong. I never claimed to be a saint.'

Myron looked at Win. 'He's good.'

'Damn good,' Win agreed.

Stan Gibbs frowned. 'What are you talking about, Myron?'

'Follow me here, Stan. And remember Win's credo. Let's start at the beginning. When your father first contacted you. You talked to him and you decided to write the Sow the Seeds story. What was your motive at first? Were you trying to find an outlet for your fear and guilt? Was it simply to be a good reporter? Or — and here's where we're using the Win credo — did you write it because you knew it would make you a big star?'

Myron looked at him and waited.

'Am I supposed to answer that?'

'Please.'

Stan looked in the air and rubbed his fingertips with his thumb. 'All of the above, I guess. Yes, I was excited by the story. I thought it could very well be a big deal. If that's selfishness, okay, I'm guilty.'

Myron glanced at Win again. 'Good.'

'Damn good.'

'Let's keep following this track, Stan, okay? The story did indeed become a big deal. So did you. You became a celebrity—'

'We covered this already, Myron.'

'Right. You're absolutely right. Let's skip to the part where the feds sued you. They demanded to know your source. You refused. Now again there might be several reasons for this. The First Amendment, of course. That could be it. Protecting your father would be another. The combination of the two. But — and again Win's credo — what would be the selfish choice?'

'What do you mean?'

'Think selfishly and you really have only one option.'

'That being?'

'If you caved in to the feds — if you said, Okay, now that I'm in legal trouble, my source is my father — well, how would that have looked?'

'Bad,' Win said.

'Damn bad. I doubt you'd have been much of a hero if you sold out your father — not to mention the First Amendment — just to save your hide from vague legal threats.' Myron smiled. 'See what I mean about Win's credo?'

'So you think I acted selfishly by not telling the feds,' Stan said.

'It's possible.'

'It's also possible that the selfish thing was also the right thing.'

'Possible too,' Myron agreed.

'I never claimed to be a hero in all this.'

'Never denied it either.'