Poison Princess

should tell him my secrets.”

I’d been a coward, dreading his reaction—but could it be worse than this? He was hurting. And that was unbearable! My eyes watered just thinking about his voice. “I’m going to fix this. I have to tell him everything.”

Matthew turned the shard, twisting it upside down. “Secrets. You listen poorly.”

“After tonight I have two choices. I can keep these secrets. Or I can keep him. Which means I’ll be telling him the truth, even if I have to . . . to reveal what I am.” Queasiness roiled again.

I reminded myself that Jackson said we could get through anything. He said there was nothing that could happen to me that we couldn’t get past. I didn’t ask for any of this—surely he would understand that!

“Matthew, when I explain my confusion and fears, he’ll want to take me to Gran’s. So I can get cured.”

Together with Jackson. A partnership. With no more secrets between us.

“I’m not going to give up on him.” On us. “And I am through letting Selena worm her way between us.”

“I’m sorry you want him,” Matthew began in a careful tone, as if he was trying very hard to say the exact right thing to me. “I feel your heart—it actually aches. I wish it didn’t, Evie. You cannot have him.”

I glared down at him. “Why would you say that?”

“You don’t want to be Arcana. But you are.” He gazed up at me with those soulful eyes. “Jack’s not.”

“So what are you, like, a card purist or something?”

“He’s a weakness. You use him as a crutch. When he helps, he hurts.”

How could that be? He made me feel hope. “Jackson might be the only thing that’s keeping me from turning into a monster.”

Matthew shot to his feet, towering over me. “Into what you were meant to be!”

I gasped. “He does keep me from turning!”

Matthew’s gaze slid away.

Jackson had quieted the voices, and then had acted as some kind of anchor for me—yet another reason why I should be with him.

I already wanted nothing more than to start a life with him; now it felt fated.

Matthew sank down on the bed, looking exhausted. “If you don’t embrace your powers, you can’t win.”

“I don’t accept that, don’t accept my part in this war.” When Matthew looked to argue, I cried, “No one can force me to fight!”

“You will want to, you will need to. There’s a heat in battle. It’s your nature.”

“I will ask Jackson for his help—”

“Not a card.”

“—and once we’ve gotten this disease under control, we’ll run together. You can run with us, Matthew. Surely you don’t want to go to war!”

“Jack versus Death? Who wins? You might survive, I might, Luna might, Finn might.”

“That’s why we’ll run where Death can’t find us.”

“He sees you even now. He listens to every word you say, every thought that drifts through your mind. No escaping him.”

“I don’t believe that I’m locked into this, that I’m trapped through no actions of my own.”

“You can’t control your powers. Lady Lotus made us sleep last night. Any longer? Jack sleeps forever.”

“What are you talking about?”

In a sly tone, Matthew murmured, “Lotus. Sleep forever and ever.”

“No,” I whispered, even as I remembered my nightmare. The villagers had lain down, falling unconscious. When I’d awakened, Jackson had been out cold. Had I released some kind of spore in my sleep? “Ah, God, I did that?”

When I’d come upon Jackson in that window seat, I’d mused that he looked so handsome—and he’d been on the verge of dying because of me! “Then why won’t you help me control my powers?”

“Oh, you’ll learn. Soon.”

I shook my head hard. “I owe this to Jackson. I’m going to warn him about the danger. If he still wants to be with me, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him from other Arcana. From myself. But he has to know.”

It’s only fair, I reasoned, though I felt my hopes for our future plummeting.

“A storm on the horizon,” Matthew said ominously. “And we’re already behind. They laugh at us. They should.”

“Then let them laugh,” I snapped. “I’ll be back.”

As I walked into the hall, I thought he muttered, “Good-bye, Evie,” but I kept going.

Passing another guest room, I heard a groan from inside. Gasping, scuffling? Had a Bagman gotten in? A militia soldier?

Claws going sharp, I opened the door. . . .

Couldn’t believe my eyes.

Bile rose in my throat.

With his strong, protective arms wrapped tight around Selena, Jackson was kissing her for all he was worth.

40

DAY 246 A.F.

REQUIEM, TENNESSEE

“What better way to shut those thoughts down than with another girl?” Evie asks softly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

We sit in silence as I wait for her to compose herself. I could use a moment as well. So many things she’s said have perplexed me, making my head ache. My focus grows hazy. Just as she has striven to resurrect memories, so too have I.

I crave one of my elixirs, though it’s not nearly time for one.

“As I slipped away, I realized that Jackson had warned me.”

“So he is the one who hurt you.”

“I don’t blame him. He asked for so little from me. And Selena will never harm him with uncontrollable powers. She’ll protect him. I believe that she loves him.”

Though I’m running out of patience, I want to hear about the last two days, want some questions answered. “What happened after you found the two of them kissing?”

She flinches at my words. She might not blame the Cajun, but deep down, she still feels betrayed.

She’s about to know more betrayal.

“I . . . I . . .” She frowns, seeming surprised to have lost her train of thought. Right on schedule. With just ten more minutes of tape left. “So I . . . scribbled a note to Jackson, telling him that I had to continue, that I hoped he would be happy with Selena. I asked him to please look out for Matthew, to explain to the boy that it’s safer for everyone this way. For some reason, I’m convinced Jackson will protect him.”

“How did you get here?” I ask, my tone growing curt. My head is splitting. And her earlier blathering about voices has reminded me of a time before my tonics.

I never want to return to that time of shame—when other things divided my