The Gods Awaken

responsibility he had to all those who'd agreed to help him. But more than anything, it made him forget how alone he was.

It was a state of being that was entirely his own fault. Ever since his escape from the spellworld he'd kept a careful emotional distance from everyone. Especially from Palimak and Leiria. He made sure he was never alone with either one of them. He wasn't certain why he found this necessary, except that he was edgy about engaging in talk that went beneath the surface.

Safar could tell they were both a little bewildered by this, although they hadn't had a chance as yet to think on it and be hurt.

Sometimes, late at night, he'd think about his dilemma. Pick and poke at it like a child toying with a small wound.

Oh, he loved them both, there was no doubt about that. And there was nothing he wanted more than to embrace his son and be a father to him once again. Or to draw Leiria close and seek her kisses and warm comfort again as he had so many years before when they had been lovers.

But for some reason he felt awkward with them-no, not awkward. That was definitely the wrong word.

What was it then?

And then one night the answer came to him: He felt as if he'd somehow betrayed them.

But why? This made no sense. He'd never done anything to harm them. And would never dream of doing so.

Or would he?

When he thought that, he became fearful. Alien to himself. As if there were another part of him-a part he'd never known about before-that lurked in the shadows … waiting. To do what, he couldn't say.

Except this other part had no love for Palimak and Leiria. And did not want the best for them.

As soon as he thought that he suddenly became very calm. The strangeness vanished and he drank down his wine, feeling whole again.

Odd, how the mind played tricks on itself when the wine was deep and the hour late.

Other people noted Safar's forced solitude. One of them was Jooli.

She found herself powerfully attracted to this strange man with eyes as blue as the seas they sailed upon.

Back at the Kyranian fortress she'd seen the young women approach him, but to no avail.

At the time it had puzzled her that Safar was able to resist their advances. On the other hand, she didn't sense that he preferred men or boys over women.

Not that this would've seemed odd to her. In Syrapis, there were many men who quoted the old saying:

'Women are for babies, boys are for pleasure.'

Just as there were many women who sang the merry little tune: 'It is our duty, misses,/ to breed amighty army;/ but we save our best kisses/ for our sisters who bliss us;/ and know all men to bebarmy!'

Since they'd met, Jooli had given Safar no indication of her interest. After all, it would be unseemly for a royal person to express such sentiments-unless she was certain they'd be returned.

However, during the early weeks of the voyage, when she'd consumed more wine than normal, Jooli had found herself pacing the deck outside her stateroom as restless as a she-tiger in season.

She kept thinking how handsome Safar was. The dark, curly hair. The boyish grin. The startling blue eyes beneath mysterious brows. The ripened lips. The strong neck and torso. And those cursedly graceful legs, revealed when he carelessly crossed them and his tunic rode high.

Adding even stronger spice was the magnetic aura of his wizardry. She'd never met anyone who possessed such powers. To embrace a man like that would be like embracing a storm. Witch joined to wizard loin to loin. The images were a sleep-disturbing aphrodisiac of the worst sort.

One night she encountered Leiria on the deck, who was doing a bit of pacing of her own. Immersed in her own hot-blooded thoughts, Jooli at first didn't recognize the similarities of Leiria's symptoms.

Casual talk soon turned more personal. 'I'm not one who impresses easily,' Jooli said. 'But I've certainly grown to admire Lord Timura.'

'There's much to admire,' Leiria agreed. 'Good people are never disappointed when they come to know him better. You can't go wrong if he gives you his friendship.'

Jooli nodded. 'I thought as much.' She hesitated, then, 'I'll be blunt,' she said. 'Woman to woman, I find it strange that no one shares his bed. Is he some sort of priest who has taken a vow of celibacy?'

Leiria smiled. 'Nothing like that,' she said.

Jooli frowned. 'He has no wife?'

'No.'

'No one he's betrothed to?'

'Never in his life.'

Jooli hissed with exasperation. 'What's wrong, then?' she asked. 'Every man of his rank and prestige I've ever known had whole harems to pleasure them.'

Leiria's eyes took on a faraway look as she thought about this. Absently, she said, 'Safar could have that as well.' Then she nodded, as if coming to a conclusion. 'But he's definitely a one-woman man.'

Then Jooli noticed moisture forming in her friend's eyes when Leiria added, 'He found that woman a long time ago. But she died.'

'If you mean Methydia,' Jooli said, 'I've heard that tale from the circus folk. But I also got the idea that although he loved her-and she loved him-it wasn't a permanent thing. An older woman … a sorcerous mentor … a passing fancy for the two of them.'

'That's true,' Leiria said. Her voice was soft, memory going back over the years to her first meeting with Safar. Then, so faint Jooli could bare hear her: 'Although I didn't realize that in the beginning.'

Leiria's eyes hazed over as her mind flashed back to that time so many years ago…

When Leiria awoke she found herself nestled in the crook of Safar's arm. Ever so gently, he wastrying to disentangle that arm. Feeling warm and loving, she smiled at him. Pulling him closer,wanting to give him more of what they'd enjoyed all night. But Safar was tense. She sensed thathe felt like he was betraying another.

Safar disengaged from her politely, but firmly. 'I have duties to attend to,' he said.

At first Leiria pouted. Then she giggled and got up, saying, 'I mustn't be selfish and take all your strength, my lord.'

Faint as his answering smile was, Leiria loved it. The intensity of her feelings surprised her. Not long before she'd been the warrior concubine of King Protarus. How could she fall in love with another so quickly? Embarrassed, and confused, Leiria arose hastily and pulled on her clothes.

But she couldn't help but comment, letting words flow without guard. 'You called out another woman's name in the night,' she said.

Leiria made certain her tones were light, but she couldn't hide the hurt. She saw Safar's eyes flicker, sensing her pain. And she loved him all the more because of that.

Safar said, 'I'm sorry.'

Leiria forced an oh-so-casual shrug. 'I don't mind,' she said. 'It's good that your heart is faithful.'

She kept her head down to hide emotion, pretending to concentrate on her harness and weapons. She said, 'The king has ordered me to comfort you and guard you with my life.'

Then Leiria raised her head and she couldn't help revealing the tears welling in her eyes. 'The king orders,' she said with deeply felt conviction, 'but I do it gladly.'

She straightened, every inch a royal warrior. She said, with all the conviction she could muster: 'I will guard you and I will be this other woman for you for as long as you like.'

Leiria almost took her leave with that. But she found there was one more thing it was important for her to say. 'Perhaps someday,' she said, desperately fighting to keep her voice from trembling, 'It will be my name you speak instead of … hers.'

And then Leiria fled.