“I’ve always been barely able to be responsible for myself. I would have been a nightmare as a father, Jim, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
Still choked up, he gathered himself before answering. “I wanted to give something back to you for what your books had given me, for what you meant to me. I could swear that sometimes you were writing the words in your characters’ mouths just for me.”
“Why not just come by and introduce yourself? I would have liked that.”
“Because that’s what anyone else could’ve done, but me and you, our connection is different. I knew that when I repaid my debt to you, it had to be something more than adoration. It had to be worthy of what you’d given me. When the chapter from
“God, Jim? I guess he’s moved on from burning bushes to eBay.”
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand,” he said, wiping tears and sweat off his cheeks. “As long as I did, that’s what mattered.”
“Understand what?”
“I kept reading the chapter over and over again until I knew what I was supposed to do, how I could use it to give as much back to you as you had given to me. You’d saved me and now I would save you.”
“Save me? Save me from what?”
“From your fate.”
“My fate?”
“Are you kidding? Look at where you were, Kip. You were once one of the most famous and admired writers in America and you ended up teaching writing to kids who didn’t give a shit and who had no idea of who you were. You didn’t give a shit either. It was like you weren’t alive anymore. Now look where you are and what you’re doing. Did you think that all just happened? Brixton was no place for someone like you. Brixton is for people like me.”
“But, Jim, by definition, you can’t save someone from his fate.”
The tears vanished as quickly as they’d come, replaced by that smug smile. “But I did save you from your fate and from Brixton, didn’t I? That’s why the chapter I found was so important. I used your own ideas to save you, to put you on a different path. Of course Frank going crazy helped too.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Kip, did you really think it was just coincidence that Frank Vuchovich used a Colt Python with a six-inch barrel and a royal blue finish? I knew Frank his whole life. He was one of the original members of the chapel. I showed him the chapter from
“Knew what, Jim?”
“Knew it was the final sign that I could save you. Don’t you see? Frank was never the shiniest lump of coal in the bin, always moody and a little nuts, but I didn’t think he would ever just snap like that. I knew it had to be a sign. After that, I used the chapter like a script. You were Kant Huxley and Renee was Pandora.”
“And Renee just happily went along with this?”
“Renee was the easy part to begin with. She was always hot for you and she never loved me like I loved her. I broke up with her and told her to go for it, to invite you to the chapel. She didn’t have to think twice about it. Later when she caught on, I had to persuade her to help me to help you.”
“You’re not serious.”
His smile disappeared. He grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face him. “Serious? Why else would the chapter have fallen into my hands?”
“What if Frank hadn’t snapped or if he had used a different gun or-”
“But he did snap and he did use that gun and he did get killed. What more proof do you need, Kip?”
“Get out of here.” I pulled free of his grasp, rubbing my arm where his fingers had held me. “This isn’t funny anymore. You’re really scaring me.”
“Did you know that when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus smelled pretty bad because he’d been in the ground for a while?”
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he said, “but before you laugh at what I’m saying, you should think about it.”
“I don’t have to think about it. This is crazy.”
“Crazy? I guess that Haskell Brown guy who wouldn’t touch your book just conveniently got himself murdered to suit your career.”
“What are you telling me?”
“Just that you must be the king of coincidences, Kip. Bad things happen to other people so good things happen to you. Is that the way the universe works?”
“Jim, come on, you’re a sharp guy. Now you’re stringing together unconnected incidents into a wishful narrative.”
“And you’re whistling through the graveyard.”
“Very cute.”
“It’s not meant to be.”
“What do you think you’re going to get out of this, Jim? You don’t need to build yourself up in my eyes. You taught me how to shoot, how to handle my fears. All that, your friendship, getting me back in shape, helping me write again, isn’t that enough for you?”
“That’s like me asking you if you’d mind someone else putting their name on your book. Without me, there’d be no you, no
“When you say those kinds of things, it worries me. I’m worried about you.”
“I don’t need your worry.” He shoved me down and stamped his feet on the boardwalk. “This wasn’t how things were supposed to turn out.”
“How were they supposed to be?” I asked, pushing myself up onto my knees.
“Not like this. You’re supposed to understand about how smart I’ve been and be happy and thank me for everything I’ve done for you.” More tears, but this time he was sobbing, loudly. “You’re … disappointing me … Kip.”
I almost told him to go fuck himself, but Renee’s warning about the danger to Amy, of disappointing Jim, was never far from my mind. “But I do see, I swear,” I said, if not very convincingly.
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t fucking lie! I couldn’t take that. I’ve killed for you. I can kill to hurt you too.”
“Stop it!”
His chest was heaving and he was raging. He was on me before I could move, threading his hands around my jacket lapels and pulling me to my feet.
“Stop it? I’m just getting started. Think about the weekend Haskell Brown died. Remember, I borrowed your car to see-”
“-a girl who went away to college.”
“That’s right, Kip. Too bad that wasn’t the truth, but I couldn’t tell you what I was doing because you would probably have stopped me.”
“Stopped you. Stopped you from what?” I asked although in my belly I knew what he was going to say.
“I wasn’t visiting any girl. I was up here doing what had to be done, getting rid of the one thing standing in our way: Haskell Brown. I enjoyed beating the shit out of that guy. He kept asking me why I was doing it. He kept asking until I broke his jaw. You should have seen what he looked like before I put a hole in him.”
“Bullshit!”
“The truth. Did you ever bother checking what kind of gun it was that killed him? You didn’t check because you didn’t want to know, did you? You still don’t want to know, but I’m going to tell you. It was a.25 Beretta and your fingerprints are all over it. Don’t worry. I got it tucked away in a nice plastic bag for safekeeping. No one will ever have to see it unless you get some stupid ideas about going to the police. And there’s a record of your car’s trip from Brixton to New York and back. I bet you didn’t know all the states along the East Coast accept our state’s electronic toll pass. So it would be real stupid for you to go to the police. I used all this to get Renee to let me read
