16
War means fighting, and fighting means killing.
Through the shallow river and up the steep embankment on the Mexican side, Kozak led the 1st Squad. At the top of the embankment stood a row of brush and bushes that Kozak, without thinking, crashed through. As soon as she did, she realized her mistake. Once clear of the bushes, she found herself alone and in an open field, just her and her M-16 rifle, held at the ready. From the line of bushes to her rear, there was no cover or concealment until a row of houses, which stood over one hundred meters distant to her front and right. For several long seconds, she hesitated, wondering whether she should turn around and go back into the bushes or continue forward. In the bushes, she could wait until the two squads closed up, leaving 2nd Squad to cover the move of the 1st Squad across the open area to the buildings. Tactically, that would be the wise choice, the-safe bet. Her other option was to continue forward once 1st Squad reached her, a move that would temporarily separate the two squads. That would be faster, allowing them to make up some of the time they had lost, but it entailed risks. If, while the 2nd Squad was still scaling the embankment, the 1st Squad, in the open, took fire, SFC Rivera and the 2nd Squad would not be able to cover or support the 1st.
Kozak was about to back up, opting for the safe bet, when the entire 1st Squad, in line, came crashing out of the brush. Coming up next to Kozak, the squad leader whispered into Kozak's ear, 'Sorry, LT. The embankment was a little slippery. Took me a few seconds to rally the squad.'
Seeing that it would screw things up to stop the squad, turn them around, and go back into the brush, Kozak changed her mind. 'No problem. Let's go.'' With that, she stepped off and headed for the houses.
As they moved forward, they came across a road that ran perpendicular to their line of advance. The road led, to their right, into the row of houses, and, to the left and at a greater distance, toward buildings that looked like a school complex. Kozak had not noticed these buildings before. She hesitated for a moment and reconsidered their situation. She could see that they were entering, in all probability, the outskirts of Nuevo Laredo. Given a choice, she had no doubt that the Mexicans they were pursuing had gone right, since the houses were closer and would offer the Mexicans a better chance to hide or blend in with the populace.
Using her right arm to signal the squad, she indicated they were to turn and follow the road toward the houses.
When the squad had finished wheeling to the right, Kozak turned around and began walking backward. In the line of brush along the embankment, she could see that Rivera had deployed the 2nd Squad.
Without having to be told, Rivera had held the 2nd Squad there in order to cover the move of the ist into the built-up area. That's why, she thought, she had brought Sergeant Rivera, to cover the mistakes she was making. The danger had passed, for now at least. 'Okay, ist Squad, let's pick up the pace.' With that, she spun about and began to quicken her own pace.
With one problem addressed and her mind freed from worrying about it, another concern immediately popped into Kozak's head. As she turned her attention to the buildings they were fast approaching, the reality of the situation hit her like a head-on collision. She, Second Lieutenant Nancy B. Kozak, was leading American combat troops in a foreign country against a hostile force of unknown composition. And there was nothing between them and her except fifty meters of open space and her M-16 rifle. Yet there was no great paralyzing fear, no panic. Her concerns and thoughts, up to now, had been about practical matters, technical and tactical concerns. Only now, when they were deep in the execution of their pursuit, when all appeared to be going well, and all necessary deployments and decisions had been made, were concerns over personal safety beginning to emerge.
As she continued the approach, alert for any sign of movement, Kozak wondered if her conduct and the disregard for personal safety that had, up to then, come to her so effortlessly meant that she was brave. Or was it that her mind, so crowded with other concerns and thoughts, simply had not gotten around to alerting her to the fact that she was headed into real danger? What, she wondered, was courage and heroism? Was there any difference between them and stupidity and foolishness? After all, had it been smart for her to turn her back to the buildings, buildings that might be occupied by enemy soldiers, as they advanced, while she looked to see if Rivera and the 2nd Squad had come up? At the moment she had done it, it had been the right thing to do. Now, in retrospect, such a thing seemed dumb. Was that it? she thought. Were courage and heroism simply a question of doing what appeared to be right at a moment of danger and surviving? Strange thoughts. Strange questions. Thoughts and questions that had no place in her mind at that moment. For in an instant, they were at the first row of buildings and new problems demanded Kozak's attention. Lofty thoughts of courage and personal conduct, for the moment, were replaced by the immediate tactical situation, which demanded Kozak's full attention.
Without having to be told, Sergeant Maupin deployed his five men.
He, and three of his people, took to the right side of the street, flattening themselves against the buildings along the narrow street while the other two men of 1st Squad went to the left side of the street where Kozak and her radio man were. In two single files, they slowly moved down the street, the lead man in each file looking to the front, and those following automatically staking out a sector of responsibility across the street from them, searching for any signs of trouble. After moving down the street some fifty meters, Kozak signaled for 1st Squad to halt. Immediately, Maupin relayed the signal. His men stopped and squatted in place, their backs against the wall or in the doorways of the building they were in front of. With their rifles held at the ready, thumbs lightly brushing the mode selector switches, only their heads moved as they slowly scanned their sector of responsibility.
When she saw that all was calm and that they were in no immediate danger, Kozak decided it was time for her to report their progress to Wittworth and wait for Rivera to bring up 2nd Squad. While she scanned the street and buildings to her front, wondering why, in the middle of the day, there were no people or signs of activity, Kozak ran her hand down her right leg to grab the map she kept in the large pocket on the thigh.
Only after the fingers of her right hand had climbed over the flap and into an empty pocket did she realize that she had left her map on her Bradley.
For the briefest of moments, the image of the map, wedged under the open sight of the Bradley where she used it when mounted, flashed across her brain. In her excitement, she had forgotten it.
Pulling her right hand out of the empty pocket, she balled it up into a fist and pounded her thigh with it. Stupid, she thought. Stupid! All she seemed to be doing was bumbling from one dumb mistake to the next.
Thank God, she thought, there had been no contact. Even that thought triggered a new alarm. Since they began this wild goose chase, there had been no contact with the people they were supposed to be pursuing. By now, for all she knew, they could be halfway to Mexico City. And who, she wondered, were they pursuing? For the first time, she realized she had no idea how many people they were after, what they looked like, how they were armed, or even if they were all men or men and women. All she knew for sure was that she, and fourteen soldiers, were sitting on the outskirts of a Mexican city, with over two hundred meters, a river, and a row of bushes separating her from the rest of the United States Army.
With no idea of where, for sure, she was, who they were after, and what they faced, the absurdity of their situation suddenly became crystal clear. Though the thought of returning empty-handed, a failure in her first real- world test, was distasteful, she saw that to continue would be stupid.
Kozak could, after all, justify her decision to withdraw. Even Wittworth would understand. Other than her own ego, and orders that had been suspect from the beginning, there was no reason for going on. Without further thought, she decided it would be pointless to go any further. From her position, she ordered Sergeant Maupin to send two men down the street a little ways to provide security and early warning. They would need that while she issued the necessary orders and regrouped for then withdrawal back to the American side of the Rio Grande.
Kozak watched Specialist Ron Cody and Private John Gunti move out down opposite sides of the street. They had just disappeared around a slight bend to the right when Rivera came up behind her, bumping her slightly before stopping to watch the 2nd Squad closing up on the ist.
Kozak, not expecting the contact, lost her balance from the bump, and almost toppled over onto her face. Steadying herself, she twisted about and faced Rivera, noticing that, despite the exertion and excitement, he wasn't
