weeks ago. May I come in?' She let him enter. After she closed the door, she waited with her hand on the knob. Pike saw that she was uncomfortable. He wouldn't be staying. 'I'm across the street. I thought you should know that.' 'Richard has someone outside.' 'I know about him. He doesn't, about me.' She closed her eyes and leaned against the door as if she wanted to sleep until this was over. Pike thought he understood. It must be terrible for her with Ben missing. His own mother took the punches meant for him. Every night. Pike wasn't clear why he had come or what he wanted to say. It was good to be clear. He was unclear about too many things these days. Pike said, 'I saw Elvis leave.' She shook her head, still with her eyes closed, still leaning into the door. 'I don't want either of you involved. You'll only make things worse for Ben.' 'He hurts.'
'Jesus, I hurt, too, and it's not your business. I know
he's hurt. I know that. I'm sorry.'
Pike tried to find the words.
'I want to tell you something.'
The weight of his silence made her open her eyes. 'What ?'
He didn't know how to say it.
'I want to tell you.'
She grew irritated and stood away from the door.
'Jesus, Joe, you never say anything but here you are. If
you want to say something, say it.'
'He loves you.'
'Oh, that's too perfect. God knows what's happening
to Ben, but it's all about him to you.' Pike considered her. 'You don't like me.'
'I don't like the way violence follows you; you and him. I've known police officers all my life, and none of them live like this. I know federal and state prosecutors who've spent years building cases against murderers and mob bosses, and none of them have their children stolen--in New Orleans, for God's sake, and none of them draw violence like you! I was out of my mind to get involved in this.'
Pike considered her, then shrugged.
'I haven't heard the tape. All I know is what Starkey told us. Do you believe it?'
'No. Of course not. I told him so. Jesus, do I have to have that conversation again?'
She blinked, then crossed her arms, holding tight. 'Goddamnit, I hate to cry.' Pike said, 'Me, too.'
She rubbed hard at her face.
'I can't tell if that's a joke. I never can tell if you're joking.'
'If you don't believe those things, then trust him.' She shouted now.
'It's about Ben. It's not about me or him or you. I have to protect myself and my son. I cannot have this insanity in my life. I am normal! I want to be normal! Are you so perverted that you think this is normal? It isn't! It is insane!'
She raised her fists as if she wanted to pound his chest. He would have let her, but she only stood with her hands in the air, crying.
Pike didn't know what else to say. He watched her for a time, then turned off the lights.
'Turn them on after I'm gone.'
He let himself out. He slipped down the stairs and through the shrubs, thinking about what she had said until he was alongside the Marquis. The windows were down. Fontenot was hunched low behind the wheel like a ferret peering over a log. Here was Pike, ten feet away, and Fontenot didn't know. Pike hated him for it. Fontenot had seen Elvis come out of Lucy's apartment, and Pike hated him for having seen his friend in such pain. The empty moments that swirled around Pike filled with rage. Their growing weight became a tide. Pike could have killed Fontenot ten minutes ago, and thought about killing him
now.
Pike moved closer to the Marquis. He touched the rear door. Fontenot didn't know. Pike slapped the roof, the sound as loud as a gunshot. Fontenot made a startled grunt as he jumped, and scrambled under his jacket for his gun.
Pike aimed at Fontenot's head. Fontenot went completely still when he saw Pike's gun. He relaxed a bit
I34
when he recognized Pike, but he was too scared to move. 'Jesus Christ, what are you doing?' 'Watching you.' Fontenot's face floated at the end of Pike's gun like a target balloon. Pike tried to speak, but the wave of heavy moments drowned his voice into a whisper and threatened to carry him away. 'I want to tell you something.' Fontenot glanced up and down the sidewalk like he expected to see someone else. 'You scared the shit out of me, you motherfucker. Where'd you come from? What in hell are you doin'?' Pike emptied the moments as they washed over him. He fought the wave back. 'I want to tell you.' 'What ?' The moments emptied. Pike had control. He lowered the gun. Fontenot said, 'What is it you wanna say, goddamnit ?' Pike didn't answer. He melted into the darkness. A few minutes later he was once more in the rubber tree, and Fontenot still didn't know. Pike thought about Lucy and Elvis. Cole had never told him very much, either, but you didn't need to ask if you looked closely. The worlds that people build for themselves are an open book to their lives--people build what they never had, but always wanted. Everyone was the same that way. Pike waited. Pike watched. Pike was. The empty moments rolled past. 135
CHAPTER 12
Family Man
