Two West L.A. detectives arrived along with a uniformed sergeant-supervisor. They asked the admitting nurse about the gunshot victim, then the older detective walked over. He had short blond hair and glasses.
He said, 'Excuse me. Are you with the man who was shot ?'
'No.'
'What's that on your pants?'
'Barbeque sauce.'
He moved on to ask the next person.
Ben said, 'Why'd you say no?'
'Your mom's going to be here soon. We don't want to be stuck in a room with those guys.'
He seemed to understand that.
335
I watched the cops until they returned to the admitting desk, then I leaned toward Ben. Here was this little tenyearold boy. He looked so small. He looked so young. I said, 'How're you doing?' 'I'm okay.' 'You saw some awful stuff today. You had some really bad things happen. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to talk about it.' 'I wasn't scared.' 'I was scared. I was really, really scared. I'm really scared right now.' Ben looked at me, and then frowned. 'Maybe I was a little scared.' 'You want a Coke or something?' 'Yeah. Let's see if they have Mountain Dew.' We were looking for the soft-drink machine when Lucy came through the sliding doors. Her strides were so fast that she might have been running. We spotted her first. I called to her. 'Lucy!' Ben took off running. 'Mommy!' Lucy crumbled into tears. She hugged Ben so tight that she might have been trying to crush him into her body. She covered him with kisses and smeared him with tears, but that was all right. Every boy wants that from his mother whether he admits it or not. Especially on days like this. I'm sure of it. I know that for a fact. I walked over. I stood near. If the detectives thought anything of it, they were kind enough not to intrude. Lucy opened her eyes and saw me. She cried harder, and then she opened her arms. I said, 'I brought him home.' 336
'Yes. Yes, you did.'
I held them as hard as I could, but even that wasn't enough.
337
CHAPTER 27
Sixteen days later, Lucy came to my house to tell me good-bye. It was a bright, crisp afternoon. No hawks floated overhead, no coyotes had sung for as long as I could remember, but the owl had come back to the pine tree. The night before, he called me.
Lucy and Ben had given up their apartment in Beverly Hills. Lucy had left her job. They were moving back to Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Ben was already there with his grandparents. I understood; really, I did. These things
don't happen to normal people, and shouldn't.
They weren't going back for Richard.
Lucy said, 'After all that happened to him, Ben needs to be with familiar people and places. He needs to feel safe and secure. I've got a house in our old neighborhood. He'll have his old friends.'
We stood on the deck, side by side at the rail. We had spoken often these past sixteen days. We had talked over what she would do, and why, but she was still uneasy and awkward. Here we were, saying good-bye. Here she was, leaving. She would be seeing me soon enough. Richard had been indicted.
The two of us didn't say very much that afternoon, but most of it had already been said. Being with her still felt good to me. We had been way too good and way too special to end it on awkward moments or bad feelings. I didn't want that.
338
I gave her my best smile, the Studly Do-Right Eye Wiggle Special, and bumped her hip. Mr. Playful. Mr. Brave. 'Luce, you've only said that eight hundred times. You don't have to say it again. I understand. I think it's right for Ben.' She nodded, but still looked awkward. Maybe it had to be awkward. I said, 'I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss Ben. I miss you guys already.' Lucy blinked hard and stared at the canyon, She leaned far out on the rail, maybe hoping that I wouldn't notice, or maybe trying to see something that she hadn't yet seen. She said, 'God, I hate this part.' 'You're doing this for Ben and for you. It's right for you. I'm good with that.' She pushed in from the rail and came close to me. It was all I could do not to cry. My voice was a whisper. 'Don't say it. Please don't say it.' 'So long as you know.' Lucy Chenier turned and ran into my house. The front door shut. Her car started, then pulled away. I said, 'Goodbye.' CHAPTER 28
My phone rang two days after Lucy left. It was Starkey. She said, 'You gotta be the luckiest asshole I know.' 'Who is this?' 'Very funny. Ha ha.' 'What's up ?' Joe Pike and I were painting my deck. After the deck, we were going to paint my house. I might even wash my car. I said, 'No offense, but I'm expecting my lawyer to call. We have this little matter of felony burglary.' Pike looked over from the end of the deck. His hands and arms were gray from sanding dried filler and spackle. The postal service that we destroyed was owned by a man named Fadhim Gerella. We had repaid Mr. Gerella for the damage we had done to his business, as well as additional money for lost business during the time he was closed. Mr. Gerella was happy with that, and had refused to press charges, though the San Gabriel District Attorney was being tough about it. Starkey said, 'Your lawyer's going to call, all right, but I'm going to tell you first.' 'Tell me what?' Pike glanced over. 'I just got off the phone with my guy down at Parker about that. You're in the clear, Cole. You and Mr. Sun 339 340
glasses. The governments of Sierra Leone, Angola, and E1 Salvador--three fucking governments, Cole-- interceded in your behalf. You bozos aced three turds up for genocide, dude. They'll probably give you a fuckin' medal.' I sat on the deck. 'I don't hear anything, Cole. You still with me?' 'Hang on.' I cupped the phone and told Pike. He never looked up from the sanding. Starkey said, 'Does this call for a celebration or what? How about I buy you some sushi and eight or ten drinks? Better yet, how about you pay? I'm a cheap date--I don't drink.' 'You want to take us out?' 'Not Pike, moron. Just you.' 'Starkey, are you asking me out?' 'Don't be so full of yourself.' I wiped the sweat and the dust from my eyes, and stared out over the canyon. 'Cole? Did you faint from the excitement?' 'Don't take this wrong, Starkey. I like it that you asked, but this isn't a good time for me.' 'Okay. I get that.' 'It's been kinda hard.' 'I understand, Cole. Forget it. Listen, I'll call you another time.' Starkey hung up. I put down my phone, and stared at the canyon. A dark speck floated over the ridge. Soon, it was joined by another. I went to the rail and watched them. I smiled. The hawks were back. Pike said, 'Call her.' I took the phone inside, and, after a
