court documents, he and Susan borrowed $60,000 from Susan’s mother, Helen, for a down payment on their new Berkeley residence, but used some of the loan to fund their lengthy European trip.
News of the extended honeymoon infuriated Felix’s first wife, Sharon Mann. That Felix would embark on such an extravagant vacation, and then return home and claim he had no money to pay her, was stunning. Barely four months had passed since he signed the divorce agreement, but he was already incapable of maintaining his parental duties. Sharon’s outrage continued to fester when she received a handwritten letter from Felix in April of 1982 outlining his financial burden and insisting they renegotiate the terms of the divorce signed in December of 1981.
The never-before published letter, dated April 20, 1982, became part of their official divorce record:
Dear Sharon,
It is hard for me to write this letter to you but there is no choice left for me…. I can no longer afford to send you the monthly amounts that I have given you…our divorce agreement needs to be altered…. The divorce degree [sic] was held up so long and was issued so close to my wedding date that I signed it with great relief and without really reading all the fine print….
The reasons… are as follows:
Each month I borrow at least $1500 in order to meet obligations here and to you. Now, I am borrowed out. I have no savings, no credit left to borrow, nothing to sell other than the cellow [sic] which, if sold, will provide money for the kids education. I bounce checks not only to you but to the man from whom I bought this house and to others.
I work to the point of exhaustion and fear that at the present rate I will in short order become useless to all; patients, children and you….
Susan worked for me half time so that I can see more patients. The money she earns constitutes our upkeep. She will, in addition, now have to take a half time job.
Our life style is lean. The trip to Europe was taken on borrowed money and saved my ass from collapse.
As we can no longer afford to support the house in Piedmont, it has been put on the market for sale as soon as possible.
As I can no longer afford the payments on my office we are looking for a house which will not only be more modest but will also serve as my office.
As I cannot continue (survive) at my present work pace, I have to cut down my work hours to human proportions.
I am aware that I have kept these things from you for a long time…. I did want you to be able to complete your training at Northwestern without feeling under stress…. I need to take care of myself first so that I can take care of all those, including you, who depend on me….
It is possible Felix was passively retaliating for what he later termed Sharon’s “manipulative” behavior throughout their relationship. “I promised myself many years ago that I would never allow myself to be ‘had’ by her as was true in the past, and I intend to keep that promise,” he once wrote of Sharon Mann in a letter to his daughter, Jennifer. Quite possibly, it was Sharon’s controlling behavior that had first attracted Felix to the pretty brunette. Perhaps he needed someone to take control, or perhaps, her strong personality was familiar to him. After all, his mother had ruled the household and protected her children during wartime.
Despite Felix’s disdain for his ex-wife, Sharon was not about to agree to a reduction in her support payments—not after she’d spent three long years fighting over the terms of the divorce. She had enjoyed a certain financial status during their marriage; she had worked to put Felix through graduate school and had raised their two children. As far as Sharon was concerned, there was no reason to agree to his demands.
On May 25, 1982, Sharon filed a complaint with the Superior Court of the State of California, detailing Felix’s failure to fulfill their financial agreement and disclosing the contents of his letter in which he insisted the settlement needed to be altered. The complaint would be the first of many that Sharon would file. Nevertheless Sharon’s repeated requests to the court for assistance were ignored. In a personal statement to the court, written in April of 1983, she detailed how Felix’s pleas of poverty, and the court’s indulgence, had drastically affected her lifestyle.
“When my 23-year-marriage ended, I sought legal counsel and came away with certain assumptions: after a lengthy marriage in a comfortable financial bracket, it was assumed I would retain my station; I would be awarded the family home and have adequate support and protection into my old age; I would have enough financial peace of mind to pursue a doctorate and reconstruct an interrupted professional life,” Sharon wrote. “Within 16 months, support would be reduced three times, I would be living at an income level 18% of my former life, forced to sell my settlement property and a court of law would rule that a portion of the proceeds of that house sale be consigned to generate income.
“In the first of four court appearances, I was awarded the family home as settlement in the division of assets and a monthly income of $2500. Support was reduced within 6 months to $2150 and I was unable to keep up the house payments of $1425.
“I was forced to sell the family home….
“I considered buying another house, a small one, and paying for it in full. But my situation seemed too perilous to put all my assets into the comfort of walls. I began to consider it of utmost importance to provide for myself after age 65,” she concluded.
For nearly two decades, Sharon Mann had enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. Now, in her mid-forties, Sharon was almost destitute and worrying about a future she once believed was secure.
Meanwhile, her fifty-year-old ex-husband was starting a whole new life with a woman half his age.
Susan and Felix had been married for two years when their first child, Adam Eric Polk, was born on January 3, 1983. The delivery was difficult for Susan.
In a letter to Adam in June of 2002, Susan explained that she had planned to experience natural childbirth, going so far as to read books, attend classes, and hire a midwife in preparation for his arrival. Everything was moving along smoothly until the last month of the pregnancy when she was told the baby was in the breach position. Things worsened when her water broke three weeks before her due date. She was having no contractions, and doctors were facing the prospect of a risky, dry breach birth.
According to Susan, the doctors decided to proceed with the delivery. All they needed was her signature on a consent form. “I asked a few questions, creating complications,” Susan wrote in the letter:
They were eager to try out this natural delivery. I was being a problem. Then something welled up inside of me, it was a colossal no. I said, “Why am I not having a C-section? Why am I not having it now? The longer we wait, the greater the danger of infection to my baby, right? Didn’t you just tell me that? What are we waiting for? I want a C-section, and I want it now!” … Afterwards the doctors were angry at me. They were annoyed by my willfulness. I was there for a few days. The nurses were running off with you against my instructions to the incubators where they stuck enormous needles, IVs, in your little hand. I hobbled after you with my cart containing my IVs, ticking off the nurses. You developed asthma in the incubators, possibly a drug reaction.
The doctors blamed it on your premature birth.
It is clear from Susan’s writing that she felt a need to control her world—a symptom often seen in people whose lives are out of control. This was her child, and she wanted to make sure that he was okay.
More than two years later on June 2, 1985, Susan gave birth to Eli, while Gabriel arrived on January 10, 1987. Though Susan was a stay-at-home mom who felt comfortable with her boys, she and Felix enrolled Adam in day care shortly after Gabriel was born. It seemed the right time for Adam to get out and enjoy the company of children his age, so the couple placed him in a private day care program in the home of an upper-middle-class family. There was only one other child in the program, the caretaker’s own child, who was anxious for a companion.
After a diligent check of references, Adam attended the program about eighteen hours per week, in six-hour
