The Stag sat up. 'Hell no,' he said. 'You're committed. You can't fool about with Rosette like that. She's probably working on it at this moment. You can't back out now.'
'I may not be able to afford it,' Stuffy said.
'Well, wait and see.'
Stuffy got up, went over to the parachute bag and took out the bottle of whisky. He poured out two, filled the glasses with water from the tap in the bathroom, came back and gave one to the Stag.
'Stag,' he said. 'Ring up Rosette and tell her that Colonel Higgins has had to leave town urgently, to rejoin his regiment in the desert. Ring her up and tell her that. Say the Colonel asked you to deliver the message because he didn't have time.'
'Ring her up yourself'
'She'd recognize my voice. Come on, Stag, you ring her.'
'No,' he said, 'I won't.'
'Listen,' said Stuffy suddenly. It was the child Stuffy speaking. 'I don't want to go out with that woman and I don't want to have any dealings with Madame Rosette tonight. We can think of something else.'
The Stag looked up quickly. Then he said, 'All right. I'll ring her.'
He reached for the phone book, looked up her number and spoke it into the telephone. Stuffy heard him get her on the line and he heard him giving her the message from the Colonel. There was a pause, then the Stag said, 'I'm sorry Madame Rosette, but it's nothing to do with me. I'm merely delivering a message.' Another pause; then the Stag said the same thing over again and that went on for quite a long time, until he must have got tired of it, because in the end he put down the receiver and lay back on his bed. He was roaring with laughter.
'The lousy old bitch,' he said, and he laughed some more.
Stuffy said, 'Was she angry?'
'Angry,' said Stag. 'Was she angry? You should have heard her. Wanted to know the Colonel's regiment and God knows what else and said he'd have to pay. She said you boys think you can fool around with me but you can't.'
'Hooray,' said Stuffy. 'The filthy old Jewess.'
'Now what are we going to do?' said the Stag. 'It's six o'clock already.'
'Let's go out and do a little drinking in some of those Gyppi places.'
'Fine. We'll do a Gyppi pub crawl.'
They had one more drink, then they went out. They went to a place called the Excelsior, then they went to a place called the Sphinx, then to a small place called by an Egyptian name, and by ten o'clock they were sitting happily in a place which hadn't got a name at all, drinking beer and watching a kind of stage show. At the Sphinx they had picked up a pilot from Thirty-three squadron, who said that his name was William. He was about the same age as Stuffy, but his face was younger, for he had not been flying so long. It was especially around his mouth that he was younger. He had a round schoolboy face and a small turned-up nose and his skin was brown from the desert.
The three of them sat happily in the place without a name drinking beer, because beer was the only thing that they served there. It was a long wooden room with an unpolished wooden sawdust floor and wooden tables and chairs. At the far end there was a raised wooden stage where there was a show going on. The room was full of Egyptians, sitting drinking black coffee with the red tarbooshes on their heads.
There were two fat girls on the stage dressed in shiny silver pants and silver brassieres. One was waggling her bottom in time to the music. The other was waggling her bosom in time to the music. The bosom waggler was most skilful. She could waggle one bosom without waggling the other and sometimes she would waggle her bottom as well. The Egyptians were spellbound and kept giving her a big hand. The more they clapped the more she waggled and the more she waggled the faster the music played, and the faster the music played, the faster she waggled, faster and faster and faster, never losing the tempo, never losing the fixed brassy smile that was upon her face, and the Egyptians clapped more and more and louder and louder as the speed increased. Everyone was very happy.
When it was over William said, 'Why do they always have those dreary fat women? Why don't they have beautiful women?'
The Stag said, 'The Gyppies like them fat. They like them like that.'
'Impossible,' said Stuffy.
'It's true,' Stag said. 'It's an old business. It comes from the days where there used to be lots of famines here, and all the poor people were thin and all the rich people and the aristocracy were well fed and fat. If you got someone fat you couldn't go wrong; she was bound to be high-class.'
'Bullshit,' said Stuffy.
William said, 'Well, we'll soon find out. I'm going to ask those Gyppies.' He jerked his thumb towards two middle-aged Egyptians who were sitting at the next table, only about four feet away.
'No,' said Stag. 'No, William. We don't want them over here.'
'Yes,' said Stuffy.
'Yes,' said William. 'We've got to find out why the Gyppies like fat women.'
He was not drunk. None of them was drunk, but they were happy with a fair amount of beer and whisky, and William was the happiest. His brown schoolboy face was radiant with happiness, his turned-up nose seemed to have turned up a little more, and he was probably relaxing for the first time in many weeks. He got up, took three paces over to the table of the Egyptians and stood in front of them, smiling.
'Gentlemen,' he said, 'my friends and I would be honoured if you would join us at our table.'
The Egyptians had dark greasy skins and podgy faces. They were wearing the red hats and one of them had a gold tooth. At first, when William addressed them, they looked a little alarmed. Then they caught on, looked at each other, grinned and nodded.
'Pleess,' said one.
'Pleess,' said the other, and they got up, shook hands with William and followed him over to where the Stag and Stuffy were sitting.
William said, 'Meet my friends. This is the Stag. This is Stuffy. I am William.'
The Stag and Stuffy stood up, they all shook hands, the Egyptians said 'Pleess' once more and then everyone sat down.
The Stag knew that their religion forbade them to drink. 'Have a coffee,' he said.
The one with the gold tooth grinned broadly, raised his palms upward and hunched his shoulders a little. 'For me,' he said, 'I am accustomed. But for my frient,' and he spread out his hands towards the other, 'for my frient-I cannot speak.'
The Stag looked at the friend. 'Coffee?' he asked.
'Pleess,' he answered. 'I am accustomed.'
'Good,' said Stag. 'Two coffees.'
He called a waiter. 'Two coffees,' he said. 'And, wait a minute. Stuffy, William, more beer?'
'For me,' Stuffy said, 'I am accustomed. But for my friend,' and he turned towards William, 'for my friend-I cannot speak.'
William said, 'Please. I am accustomed.' None of them smiled.
The Stag said, 'Good. Waiter, two coffees and three beers.' The waiter fetched the order and the Stag paid. The Stag lifted his glass towards the Egyptians and said, 'Bung ho.'
'Bung ho,' said Stuffy.
'Bung ho,' said William.
The Egyptians seemed to understand and they lifted their coffee cups. 'Pleess,' said the one. 'Thank you,' said the other. They drank.
The Stag put down his glass and said, 'It is an honour to be in your country.'
'You like?'
'Yes,' said the Stag. 'Very fine.'
The music had started again and the two fat women in silver tights were doing an encore. The encore was a knockout. It was surely the most remarkable exhibition of muscle control that has ever been witnessed; for although the bottomwaggler was still just waggling her bottom, the bosom-waggler was standing like an oak tree in the centre of the stage with her arms above her head. Her left bosom she was rotating in a clockwise direction and
