much for the snow crisis. But if I told my mother what had just happened, there would be another flood of worried questions. I had never even told her Schulz was a homicide investigator. If she learned that, all hell would break loose.
“He’s just helping me out;” I told her. “I’ve, uh, had a bit of sickness.”
My mother’s high voice grew panicked. “Not morning sickness…”
“Mother. Please. It’s past lunch here, thus well after morning. Not only that, but we’ve had only a tiny amount of snow, and Arch is due home any second ? “
“Tell me again,” she pressed, “is Tom Schulz somebody you knew from C.U.?” This query was designed to ascertain if Schulz was a college graduate. If she couldn’t have a doctor for a son-in-law, Mom would at least go for well educated.
I said, “No, not from C.U.” I wanted to say, Last night I had my emotional life changed by this guy… to-day he drove me down to the hospital and back in a life-threatening situation, you’re not going to believe this, Mother, I’ve finally found somebody who really cares about me… . The phone slipped out of my left hand and bounced off the floor.
Her more distant voice persisted. “But he’s not just … somebody you met, is he? This isn’t going to be someone you just… picked up at a policeman’s picnic or ? ??
I picked up the phone. “Mother. No. This is someone” ? I looked at Schulz and smiled ? “very special, very smart. He is unique. He knows all about china and antiques and still was able to get a job with an equal-opportunity employer.”
“Oh, God, he’s colored ? “
“Mother!” I promised to call over the weekend, and hastily said good-bye.
Schulz eyed me askance. “Didn’t quite measure up, did I?”
“I heard her,” Audrey said, and mimicked my mother’s voice, “‘Someone you picked up?’ Sorry, Goldy. Why do women of our mothers’ generation worry so much about what kind of man we’re seeing or married to? Why don’t they worry about how we’re doing? That’s what I tell Heather, ‘I’m worried about you, honey, not some boy you might be dating and what his background is.’ ” Audrey moved to the sink and poured herself a glass of water. She finished with, “You should have told her Schulz went to Harvard.”
“Oh, Lord, don’t remind me,” groaned Schulz. He turned and gave me a half-grin. “I went out to Elk Park Prep to get a few things cleared up, and the headmaster asked me where I went to school.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know what he meant, so I said, ‘Well, first there was North Peak Elementary ? ? and old .Perkins waved his hand and said, ‘Stop right there.’ “
I was shocked. This hurt as much as the spider bite. How dare Perkins insult Schulz, who was in every way his superior? I felt the slight as keenly as if Perkins had criticized Arch. “That imbecile!” I blurted out.
Schulz turned his unruffled, seawater-green gaze at me. I felt my face redden and a flip-flop tighten my abdomen. “Not to worry, Miss G. I know the difference between a person who’s educated enough to handle life’s challenges and a person who just needs to brag all the time.
Audrey’s mouth sagged open. She said, “Make that ‘the difference between a woman who can handle life’s challenges and a man who needs to brag all the time.’ “
Schulz said, “Hmm.”
I didn’t know where this was going and I didn’t care. But Schulz was interested. To Audrey, he said, “Er, tell me what you mean.”
Audrey’s tone was defiant. “That’s what I’m trying to teach Heather. I say, ‘Get ahead now, honey, while you’re young, you don’t want to get stuck taking care of some man’s socks and ego.’” She took a shuddering breath. “You see, if you don’t get ahead when you’re young, if you just let things go along, if you trust people…”
A cloud of bitterness soured her features. “Oh, never mind. All I want is for Heather to have things I never had. She is phenomenally talented,” she said, animated again. “She ran the virtual reality simulator this summer for exploring Mars.” She glared at us fiercely. “Heather is going to be a success.”
Schulz leaned back in his chair and ,gave Audrey and me a benevolent, questioning grin. “Success, huh?”
When we had no response, he got up out of his chair and cocked his head at us. “You feeling okay, Goldy?” When I said I thought so, he added, “I’m going to make some tea.”
We were silent while Schulz rummaged for cups, saucers, and a pot, and then drew water. Finally Audrey said glumly, “Success is what I’m not.” She ticked off on her fingers. “No meaningful work or career, no relationship, no money…”
Well, I was not going to interrupt my part-time assistant and say, catering is meaningful work for some of us, if not for you. Catering pays the bills. That’s my definition of meaningful.
Schulz said, “I grew up in eastern Colorado and paid for my own college education until I was drafted. I didn’t finish a degree until I got out of the army. Criminalistics, University of Colorado at Denver.” He frowned. “I’ve! killed people and thought it was wrong, killed them and I, thought it was right. Some criminals I catch and some I don’t. I make a good salary and I’m unmarried, no kids.”
He rubbed his chin, watching Audrey. “But I think of myself as a success. In fact” ? here he gave me a wink ? “I’m getting more successful all the time.”
“Huh,” said Audrey. The teakettle whistled. Schulz moved efficiently around the kitchen, first ladling in China black tea leaves, then pouring a steaming stream of water into the pot. He ducked into the refrigerator and came out with a dish of leftover Red ‘n’ Whites. I glanced at my watch: 3:00, Arch and Julian would be home within the hour, and we had nothing for dinner. Maybe Julian would want to cook, This time he’d get no argument from me.
Audrey’s hand trembled as she lifted her teacup and saucer. The cup made a chittering sound as Schulz slowly filled it. Audrey did not look at me when she went on, “… I didn’t go to a school where I could make something out of myself. If only I had studied math, instead of …”
The pain in my hand was getting worse. I was having trouble focusing on Audrey’s voice, whine whine, Caltech, whine whine Mount Holyoke, Heather’s always been so gifted. Sudden exhaustion swept over me. I dreaded telling Arch and Julian about the spider bite. I longed to take my first doctor-prescribed hot bath. But now Audrey was complaining about how the best possible thing for Heather would be a big science-oriented school in California or the Northeast, since they had the best reputations and would assure her of landing a great job once she graduated. Maybe it was the bite, maybe it was my mood, maybe I had just had it with this kind of talk. Enough.
“Uncle! A big-name school is not going to make a person. You make it sound like it’s sex or something!”
Schulz turned down the edges of his mouth in an effort not to laugh. He cleared his throat with a great rumbly sound and said, “Oh, yeah? Like sex? This ought to be interesting. Goldy? You haven’t touched your tea.”
I slouched back and obligingly sipped. “Let me tell you, my college counselor promised me the moon and I believed her.”
Audrey said, “Really? Where did you go?” I told her; she was impressed. She said, “Gosh! A camel’s-hair coat in every closet!”
“Spare me.” I remembered undergraduate nights shivering in freezing rain mixed with snow. I didn’t recall ever seeing a camel’s-hair coat. I sighed. “Where do these reputations come from? People think, If you go to this or that college, you’re in. Go to this or that school and you’ll become beautiful and smart and get a great job and be a successful person. What a joke.”
“She’s getting cynical in her old age,” Schulz told Audrey out of the side of his mouth. Then to me, brightly, “Would you pass the sugar?”
“I mean, just look at the catalogue.” I slid Schulz the sugar bowl with my good hand. “Look at the close-up shots of Gothic spires… they do it that way so you won’t see the smog. Look at the good-looking well-dressed preppy white Anglo-Saxon Protestant females striding together across the lush green campus. They and their friends vacated the campus over the weekend, while the less attractive girls stayed alone in the dorms, their minuscule numbers at meals an indictment of their own unpopularity.”
I put down my teacup and held my hands open as if perusing an imaginary brochure. “Wow! Look at the picture of that energetic lecturer and those students eagerly taking notes ? that must be a fascinating class!” I gave them a fascinated ? class look. “The class is required for your major, but it took you three and a half years to get into
