Chopping Spree

Marla swooped back and signaled that we go into the kitchenette. “I’ve got a flask in my purse,” she whispered. “This was supposed to be a cocktail party, and all Barry Dean managed to offer was wine. Disgusting. I’ve got some sherry in here, Dry Sack, your favorite. Why don’t you have some?”

I politely declined her offer, which brought on a why-can’t-you-ever-relax harangue that I ignored.

“OK,” I said, after Marla took a sip of her sherry. “What else have you got?”

Marla leaned forward, eager to share. “Shane and Page fought because he didn’t lease her a piece from the six-thou-a-month category. Page is a compulsive shopper, like her sister. The woman is crazed, I’m telling you. Maybe they both are. Anyway, Page wants everything her sister has, and the sister got a piece from that six-thou- a-month case.”

“Her sister?”

“Pam Disharoon. Goldy, where have you been?”

I wrinkled my nose at her. “The blond lingerie saleslady? She has so much stuff that Page Stockham is jealous of her?”

“Word is that Pam is loaded with goodies, all gifts from boyfriends. She doesn’t have to work in sales, but she does for the thrill of it. Apparently, she’s a whiz at both selling stuff and getting stuff. Free stuff. She goes to a guy’s house. She and the guy have a wild lovemaking session on his Oriental rug, all while the guy’s wife is away, of course. Pam says, Oh, if only I had a rug like this, I could think of us on it. Next thing you know, a Kirman’s delivered to Pam’s front door. I’m telling you, the woman is infamous. I can’t believe you haven’t heard about her.”

“I’ve been working. Too hard, according to you. What about Page?”

Marla sniffed. “Page is insanely jealous of Pam. Page watches her sister like a hawk, to see what she gets. Then Page goes out and buys the same thing, only bigger. It’s like a game between them.”

“And Shane fits in how?”

Marla sipped more sherry. “Well, I just heard Shane and Page are in counseling, individually and together. Last month Page spent fifteen thousand dollars just on stuff. That woman can’t walk past a store without buying something that she thinks Pam might have. Page just bought a new white Audi, because one of Pam’s boyfriends gave her one. Page can’t stand the fact that Pam’s Audi license plate says ‘GOGIRL.’ She thinks it means go get more stuff.”

I stacked the last of the dirty platters in a cardboard box. “So Page bought one because Pam had one? There’s a great motivation for purchasing a luxury vehicle.”

Marla put down her glass and obligingly scraped a platter into the new trash bag. She hesitated, as if trying to remember something. “And that’s not all,” she added. “Before she was kicked out of tonight’s party, Page told a friend of mine that Shane had told her that ninety percent of the new stuff Page just bought has to go back. Page was upset, whoo! The last ten percent, she stowed in a storage shed—her fourth. But it’s not as if she isn’t trying to change. I hear she’s on an antidepressant that’s supposed to help with compulsive spending. Plus, she’s in individual counseling, as well as a support group for over-spenders. Anonymous, of course.”

“For crying out loud—” I couldn’t imagine keeping any secrets from Marla. The woman was a bloodhound.

“You haven’t heard the worst of it. The reason Shane had to come with her here? As part of their counseling deal, Page gets no credit cards, no checkbook. So if she wants something, Shane has to be there to get it for her.”

“How’d she get the fifteen thou worth of stuff this month, then?”

Marla raised an eyebrow. “Ellie McNeely called and left a message for Shane. He’d applied for a loan and it had come through. The minute Page heard it, she raced down to the bank and talked the clerk into letting her get the dough. Bye-bye loan.”

We were interrupted by Liz and Julian entering the kitchenette. Julian told me Barry had given us the go- ahead to pack up the buffet.

“Would it be possible for me to leave early?” Liz asked. “I need to go find Teddy—”

I held up a finger for her to wait. “Marla? If you don’t mind, I need to visit with my staff.”

Marla assumed an attitude of peevishness, then winked at Julian and flounced out.

To Liz and Julian, I said gently, “You realize how arguing with a client during an event can wreck everything.” Liz opened her mouth to protest, then stopped when she saw my face. “This is not nosiness, Liz. This is your boss needing to know why you were fighting with the client… especially,” I added with a smile, “when we haven’t received the staff gratuity.”

They both hesitated. Then Julian said to Liz, “You’d better just tell her.”

Liz’s thin, pretty face was tense. “Teddy’s had trouble here at the mall—”

“Trouble?” I interjected, remembering what Marla had told me. “What kind of trouble?”

Outside the kitchenette, Barry was making an announcement that customers only had five minutes to complete their leases…and they might want to stow their pieces in their cars, if they were moving on to make great shoe deals at Prince & Grogan!

“My son had a theft problem,” Liz said huskily. “You probably read about it in the paper, they just couldn’t release his name because he’s a juvenile.”

“I actually heard about his…problem from a friend. What does that have to do with Barry?”

Reluctantly, Liz continued: “Teddy… used to wait in that eggs-and-bacon area, where parents let their kids play. Sometimes people sit at tables around the edge of the play area, to drink coffee or tea. You know it?” I nodded. “Teddy would… watch, until the parents or the coffee drinkers were distracted. Then he’d walk off with their bags. Their purses, too.” She ran her fingers through her short silver hair. “Their wallets. That’s why I wanted to talk to Julian. I just keep thinking if Teddy could have a role model—”

“Liz. The fight with Barry? Why did the security guys haul Teddy out of the lounge?”

“Law enforcement has talked and talked to Teddy, and he’s doing so much better. But then Barry Dean,” Liz began savagely, “barred him from Westside. Technically, it’s called being trespassed. He’s not allowed into the mall for any reason. If mall security catches him, they automatically call the cops and have him transported away—”

“This sucks!” Julian interjected angrily. “Here’s this seventeen-year-old kid, who’s just trying to find his mom so he can give her a ride home, and then that creep gets him dragged off—”

“Sounds like Barry was just trying to do his job,” I pointed out gently.

“Oh, puh-leeze,” Liz scoffed. “Barry didn’t have to have Teddy humiliated. There were enough guards holding on to him to stop an army, for God’s sake. And I’d like to know why my son was immediately hauled away in front of everybody when he didn’t even do anything, and Barry stood still while Shane Stockham tried to beat up his wife and whacked into you instead. Hello?”

“Well, uh,” I said, but couldn’t finish. Liz had a point.

“Anyway, why am I talking to you?” Liz’s voice was defiant. “I need to go find out where my son is.” She tugged off her chef’s jacket and tossed it onto the counter. “If you don’t want to pay me for my work today, that’s fine. Good-bye.”

With this, she stomped away.

“That went well,” Julian commented.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I retorted. “But why didn’t they just agree to meet outside the mall? If the kid knows he’s not supposed to come into the mall, why would he do it?” I let out a breath. “This was a Goldilocks’ Catering party. And we saw not one, but two fights.” I slumped against the counter, exhausted and in pain. Worse, I felt defeated.

Julian’s dark eyebrows knit into a straight line. “Let me help you with the cleanup and packing. I’ll stay as late as you want. And…I know a catering staff shouldn’t argue with anyone. So you don’t have to pay me, either.” He paused. “Teddy just felt so awful when I talked to him tonight.”

I resisted commenting on how awful the people Teddy stole from undoubtedly felt when their packages and