Staying alive. That's what he was doing, even if he had to remind himself from time to time. Not taking his choice of either freezing or starving beside a glacier lake somewhere in the depths of the Worldspine, that's what he was doing. Living and breathing. Desperately existing. Just like he'd always done. Waiting for his first chance to get off and run away.
You know I cannot let you go.
He had no idea how far they flew. They might have been in the air for three days and nights, or else he might have missed one in the general numbness of cold and hunger and it might have been four. He was dizzy with fatigue by the time he noticed that the air was warmer again. When he next bothered to look, he saw that the mountains were shrinking. There were lakes and rivers below them again, dark little lines in the shadows of their valleys, bright flashes of light where they caught the sun. As the dragon let herself glide ever lower, gleaming white snowfields rose up to either side of them. They flew between tufts of cloud snagged on jagged black peaks that fell away into grey stone slopes and black valleys filled with trees. Snow flew on and the mountains shrank still more, fading into crumpled hills and then into an endless sea of rolling forest. Kemir, too exhausted and ravenous to think, felt the dragon's hunger mingling with his own. As the trees spread out further below them, he felt an irritation growing inside him, too. Snow again.
Do you see anything for me to eat, Kemir?
Kemir peered down over Snow's shoulder. 'All I see is trees.' His eyes were too tired to focus, so all he saw most of the time was a great big dark blob that was the ground.
I do not like trees. It is hard to find prey.
Kemir digested that. 'That's why we outsiders build our villages deep in the valley forests,' he told her. 'So you and your dragon-riders won't find us. And up on stilts so that the snappers won't eat us while we're sleeping.'
They found a river. Snow dropped to follow it, still far above the treetops but close enough that Kemir could make out the individual trees. He looked wistfully to either side, out across the misty green expanse. Not just trees but a great forest like the Raksheh Forest of the realms. He saw deer too, coming out to drink at the edge of the water. Too small for Snow, but perfect for a man with a bow. He closed his eyes. I could live here. I could hunt and build a shelter and stay out in the wilderness. Just let me off here and leave me be. I don't mind being alone. Just let me rest and sleep and have something to eat. Leave me be with my ghosts.
No. Snow flew on until the green hills petered away and the river drained into a lake.
Look.
Kemir leaned forward and peered down at the water. He could see the ripples of a tiny boat and, as Snow dropped closer, he made out a single person sitting in it. Excitement gripped him. 'Land!'
Why? There is only one of them and they are small and skinny. Barely a mouthful.
'It's a boat, dragon. And a person. Where there is one of us there will be more, and where you find people you'll find cattle.'
Is that so? Your kjnd have changed then, for that is not how I remember the world.
Without warning, Snow tucked in her wings. They plunged out of the sky and Kemir was suddenly too busy holding on to see what she was doing. He might have been strapped into a dragon-knight's saddle, but he still couldn't quite bring himself to trust the thing. He gripped Snow's scales, fingers rigid as they levelled out and skimmed across the lake. He caught a glimpse of the boat again, straight in front of them, then Snow suddenly started to climb. Kemir pitched forward, smacking his face into the dragon's back. He thought he heard a scream, but he couldn't be sure.
Ah! Useless! Your kjnd are too fragile. Snow tossed something up into the air in front of them. Kemir was sure he saw flailing arms and legs before she snatched it into her jaws.
'That was the person from the boat, wasn't it?' No, no. I don't want to know. I don't want to think about it.
I did not mean to break him.
'You didn't have to eat him!'
I am hungry, Kemir. I have barely eaten in close to ten passings of the sun. Ahh…
The taste of Snow's thoughts changed. Kemir felt a satisfaction, an anticipation. She changed her course, arrowing across the lake. Kemir tried to see what she'd spotted.
A house. He saw a house at the edge of the lake. More of a hut than a house. With people, standing and staring at them…
He saw them for an instant, saw their faces, their mouths open, their eyes wide, their feet frozen to the spot in terror, too stupefied to run away; and then Snow opened her mouth and spat fire. A wall of burning air erupted in front of them. Snow slammed through it. Kemir screamed. Snow screamed. There might have been other screams too, but if there were then Kemir didn't hear them. He covered his face with his hands and wrapped his arms around his head, all far too late. He could smell scorched hair. His hair.
The next moment Snow crashed into the ground. Wood split and splintered. Kemir pitched forward, thrown helplessly back and forth and only kept on Snow's back by the saddle. Her head and neck lunged forward and she spat fire again. Kemir cowered, pressing himself into her, covering his face as best he could, but there was no burning wall of air this time. She lunged a second time and then a third, and then she stopped.
'What have you done?' he whispered. His hands and arms and face were agony. His clothes were still hot to the touch and smelled burned. Snow, he realised, was eating. Behind the hut had been a tiny fenced field with perhaps half a dozen pigs in it. They were all burned now. The smell of them made his mouth water, made him remember how long he too had been without food. The dragon was picking them off the ground with her claws, tossing them into the air and catching them in her mouth. The way his cousin Sollos used to eat grapes.
I am still hungry. This is not enough.
He didn't want to think about the people he'd seen. Maybe Snow had eaten them already. Maybe she was saving them for later. They were certainly dead. Burned to a crisp.
'I'd like to get down.'
Are you sure? You are far safer where you are.
He ignored her. Slowly and painfully, he undid the straps and harnesses that held him in the saddle. He half slid, half fell to the ground. When he looked at his hands they were bright red. They were sore and getting worse. Burnt. Add that to the fact that every joint and muscle already hurt from their flight across the mountains and there was nothing left. 'Was that necessary, dragon?'
When he didn't get an answer, he moved gingerly through the smouldering wreckage to the shore of the lake. He lay down on the edge of the land with his face half in the water, his arms stretched out in front of him. The water was deliciously cool. The pain eased. He drank a little. It tasted good.
Behind him he heard the dragon shift, scattering more wreckage, and then a thin wailing shriek. When he looked around, Snow was holding a boy in her claws. She was going to eat him.
'No!' Kemir jumped to his feet waving his arms. 'No, Snow! Don't! Don't you dare!'
Her mouth was already open. She looked at him and cocked her head. But I am hungry, Kemir. Why should I not eat?
'Why? Why? Because that's a person, that's why! A boy! Like me!'
It is food, Kemir.
'It's a boy, you stupid dragon. Half grown. Hardly even worth eating. You can't…' How did you reason with a dragon. 'Am I food? Is that all I am?'
Snow's expression didn't change. He was food. Now he had time to think about it, yes, that was what she thought of him. Nadira had been food.
You have also been useful, Kemir. Perhaps you will be useful again.
'Useful food.' He sat down and started to laugh, or to cry, or perhaps a bit of both. He wasn't sure and he certainly didn't care. 'Useful food. Is that what I am?'
Yes.
'Useful didn't save Nadira, did it, dragon?'
Snow almost shrugged. But, Kemir, she was not useful at all. She knew nothing. She had no other value.
'Because you had me to tell you about the world?' He could have cried.
Yes. I see this troubles you, but it is the natural order of things.
'Troubles me? You could say that, yes.' I'm shouting. Shouting at a dragon. Not good. He tried to gather his thoughts. 'When I stop being useful, Snow. What happens then?'
