he marked you up pretty good.”
A normal father, after hearing that a man had hit his daughter, would break into jail and kick his teeth in. Moni’s father acted like he’d rather shake the man’s hand and give him some woman-beating pointers for next time.
She had so many sharp words for him-poison-tipped words that had marinated within her for years-but she couldn’t unleash them now. Let him get onto the walkway first.
“We got into a bit of a tussle, but I handled it,” Moni said. “Now come on. Your granddaughter can’t go fishing without your help. I never was any good at it.”
“That’s because fishing is a sport of patience, and you got none of that,” he said as Moni watched him trot from his car over to the walkway. He wore a pair of crusty old jeans and a faded biker t-shirt-with no sign of fishing gear. “How the hell you think we’re gonna fish in this? If any fish are still alive in there, you can cook ‘em up yourself, darlin’.”
She loved how he called her darling and suggested that she choke on toxic fish in the same sentence.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got your monthly rent in my pocket,” she said.
“Now we’re talking. I could get used to this grandfather deal. See you kids soon.”
No you won’t.
They both hung up. About halfway across the walkway underneath the bridge, he stopped walking and called her back. “Hiding again are ya? Well, there ain’t many hiding places ‘round here. Come on out before you piss me off.”
He had threatened her when she hid in the closet too. He offered her a chance to come out before he broke in and laid his boots into her-as if the outcome would change if she approached voluntarily. She’d rather suffer in resistance than give him a shred of justification.
She could do it now. He had strayed into range.
“You don’t scare me anymore. You’re a broken down old man.”
“Is that right, honey? Well, you looked mighty scared to me last time I paid your home a visit. I hope you brought that skinny punk again. I’d get a kick outta snapping his neck.”
She hadn’t heard from Aaron since early that morning. She hoped he had listened to her and stayed away from the lagoon. Moni glanced at Mariella. She didn’t respond to that train of thought.
“He’s sitting this one out. This is between you, me and Mariella, who, by the way, isn’t your granddaughter. You’re nothing but a stranger.”
“You think you can raise her by yourself? She’ll be turning tricks on the street corner by the time she’s fifteen. Hell, that’s where you woulda been if I hadn’t taught you straight.”
“Do you call the abuse you put me through teaching?” Moni nearly flung the phone over the balcony in a futile attempt to plunk him in the head with it. Her tears fell over the edge in its place. The droplets carried off into the swirling wind. “You had no right to do what you did to me. You had no right to touch me like that! You had no right to hit me and choke me and… say what you said…”
“You been fucking up my whole life, you little whore! All you do is screw up!”
Her trembling hand seized her ear, and a clip of braids, but it couldn’t muzzle her father’s yelling voice inside her head. The imprint of his harsh words still stung her even as her physical scars had long faded.
“Have you ever slaved in a grease shop for a boss that didn’t give two shits about you? Can you imagine how I felt when I got home, and saw your mom with her fat ass on the couch and you dressing like a lil’ floozy and blabbering on the phone? I busted my ass every day. All you and your mother did was think of new ways to burn my paycheck.”
“I don’t care. Okay? I don’t care why you did it. You had no reason to hurt me. And what you did to mom…”
She remembered the sickening thump that reverberated through her wall when her father slammed her mother’s head on the other side. She heard her mother whimpering as she dropped to her knees. She heard her scream, “ Don’t hurt my baby!” Another thump silenced her. Her mother tried to cover the bruises with makeup, but Moni could still see the blue and purple marks on her dark skin, and the swelling. Yet, she never whimpered about her own suffering. Her mother’s eyes looked upon her daughter in agony when they saw the scars she couldn’t prevent.
Her spirit had been shattered so completely, that she couldn’t reassemble herself after he went to jail. The woman’s heart couldn’t take it. When her father sent her degrading letters, week after week, that blamed her for his arrest, she couldn’t throw them away. She read every one, and each of them pushed her closer to her casket.
Moni had watched her mother die in a hospital bed; her heart had surrendered. The whole time, she asked herself why she had never called the police on her father, so her mother could escape.
“Mom tried so hard, but she couldn’t fight you. I was too small, and afraid to keep you off her. How would I even think about it? What young child thinks of protecting their mother, instead of the other way around? That’s just it. I had no one to protect me, because you didn’t care. You thought your paycheck was all you owed me. I’d have rather gone to bed hungry every night with a loving family than have a monster like you as my father.”
“Don’t turn your mother into a saint!” Her father kicked the walkway railing. Moni jerked her head back-even from miles away. “Oh, she pampered you when you cried like a bitch, at every little bump and bruise. She looked the other way when you flunked. There were no consequences with her. The way I was raised, if you screw up, you get the wood laid to you. My way got the job done. Hell, I wish you were a real cop and not on the Sesame Street beat, but at least you’re working.”
“Oh, that’s right. I work so I can earn enough money to repay you for all the kind things you’ve done for me,” Moni said with more than a hint of sarcasm.
“Damn straight. Now, if only you meant it. I toughened you up for the real world, Moni. The lessons I taught you saved you from the Lagoon Watcher. You can’t deny that.”
Unbelievable, thought Moni. The yelling and the hitting that tormented her every day of her life had become her father’s fond memories of his strong parenting.
Now Moni could return the favor. She could take pride in ridding the world of him. They could do that for her, and more, but only if she agreed.
Peering at her father through binoculars, she saw an old man alone on a walkway to nowhere. He had lost his family and all but the most insensitive of his friends. He had paid a price. Yet, that was for abusing Moni’s friend once-not for hurting her and her mother dozens of times.
What punishment would serve as retribution for me and my mother?
Moni knew the answer. She also knew that she wasn’t the kind of person who did such a thing. As Mariella squeezed her hand, the memories returned more potent than ever. She had lost her first baby tooth when her father slapped her in the face. He had twisted her fingers until they swelled and she couldn’t hold a pencil straight. If she let him go again, he’d find another vulnerable child. She wouldn’t cower in the closet any longer.
“Dad, you’ve caused me nothing but pain. I’ve accomplished all of this, despite what you did to me. I owe you something, but it’s not gratitude.”
“Yeah, I figured you’d say as much, you spoiled runt.” Her father peered underneath the walkway for his daughter’s hiding place. “You wanna pay up? Come out and greet me face-to-face. I got somethin’ for ya.”
Moni lowered her binoculars. She couldn’t stand seeing him again, even from over a mile away. Mariella tightened her grip on her hand. She felt her soul flutter in and out of her body. They were listening to her. They wanted to know: Was she ready for it?
“And while you’re at it, bring that girl along. I’ve got something for her too.”
With her mouth to the phone and her mind to an instrument much more complex, Moni answered both of them at once.
“The only thing I’m giving you is a trip to the grave. Say goodbye, daddy.”
She didn’t need binoculars this time. Bursts of fire erupted from the lagoon on both sides of the causeway. One blast rocketed from directly beneath where her father stood. The simultaneous explosions ignited the hydrogen that the sulfuric acid in the lagoon had been spewing into the air. The massive columns of the causeway cracked and toppled into each other like trees bursting in a wildfire. Gray smoke smeared the sky. Moni couldn’t see her father amid the cloud of black smoke rising from the detonation site, but she saw that he wouldn’t die alone. The bridge tilted. A van swerved into the guardrail and plummeted over the side. It splashed into the water like a giant
