attend the bodybuilding competition. The idea both disgusted and titillated her at the same time.
“Hope I don’t embarrass myself,” she thought as she pictured all the buff men in tiny little Speedo’s displayed before her. “No, better not contact Jasper, that would be way too forward. Maybe Seymour. Could pretend I was curious about the project we’d worked on together. That’s a plausible reason for a call, right?” she surmised, running ideas through her head as she paced her room. “But what would his mother think, a mature woman like myself phoning her younger son? Screw it, he’s cute and I know he’s got the hots for me, a quick phone call won’t hurt, I’ll keep it very professional.”
Blanche could feel her pulse quicken, anxiety rising, breath coming in shorter, faster intakes and exhales, her hand shook slightly as she picked up the phone and dialed.
A woman answered, “Hello, Wood residence.”
“Must be his mother,” she thought. 'Why couldn’t Seymour have answered?'
“Yes, hello, I was wondering if I might speak to Seymour?” her voice quivered slightly, as she made the request.
“So would I,” his mother said back into the receiver. “Never get much of a chance to see him these days, I think he sleeps here cause his bed is tussled in the mornin’ and food is missing from the fridge but he’s nothing more than a ghost around here, I'm afraid.”
“Sorry to hear it,” Blanche sincerely responded.
“Can I take a message or you could try his cell?”
“He’s got a cell phone?” she questioned, wishing she had had that information before trying his home.
On his fixed income and school expenses she hadn’t imagined he could afford a phone as well, but then again every kid eight and older had a cell phone these days.
“Yup, not for very long. Would you like the number?”
“That would be helpful, thank you,” her pulse slowing, with the cheerful mood of the call.
“You ready? 229-412-3838, don’t have any idea where he is tonight but you are welcome to give him a try. Do you mind me asking what this is in reference to?” his mother questioned the stranger.
“No, not at all, this is Blanche Delaney, I work with Seymour at the library. I just had a couple of work related questions for him. While I’ve got you, I must tell you, he’s a very courteous young man and a pleasure to work with.”
“Thank you, thank you very much, it’s nice to hear once in awhile that your efforts are paying off. Hasn’t been easy ‘round here since his father passed but don’t know what I'd do without him. I’ve heard him talk about you. You the pretty red haired woman?”
Blanche could feel her cheeks warming and reflexively turning red, “I guess you could say my hair is a shade of red, everybody else at the library is graying so guess that would be me.”
“Well, this here boy of mine has got a tender heart and I believe a pretty big crush on you. I’d appreciate it if you’d be careful with his feelings,” his mother said, worried that she had perhaps overstepped her bounds but forging ahead anyway.
“No, no, it’s not like that at all, just needing to talk about some shift changes we’re considering and I needed his input.”
“Well that’s fine, he’s a grown man and all, but just don’t want to see him get hurt, if you know what I mean,” the concerned mother continued.
“I certainly appreciate your concern and will do all I can to avoid causing your son any distress,” Blanche replied. “Thanks for the phone number and it was nice talking with you Mrs. Wood, good night.”
His mother’s tone gave her pause. The phone shook in her hand as she considered both the up and down sides of making the call. Her mind made up she pressed the digits and lifted the small phone to her ear, a pause much longer than she expected, then a ring, ring, ring, ring, finally someone picked up at the other end.
“Hello Blanche, that really you?” the voice said.
“Yeah, it’s really me, how are you?” she excitedly said into her cellular.
“I can’t believe you’ve finally found time to phone me, thought maybe you’d forgotten about your best friend,” Holly said.
“Never, no way, just been so crazy with trying to get my life settled here and everything. You know how it can be?” Blanche responded.
The old friends picked up their conversation like it had been yesterday that they had talked last. The librarian filled her friend in on what she’d been doing, information about the job and the area. Holly was anxious to hear all that but was more than a little interested to hear about Blanche’s love life.
“So, I can tell you’ve been avoiding the topic, but what about the men out there, any Southern Gentleman calling on you,” she said, with a distinctively fake Southern accent.
Blanche filled her in on meeting Jasper and Rufus, and the bodybuilding thing that was happening the next day, as well as her run-in with Mikey and company.
“Blanche, you have got to be more careful, a babelicious little nugget like yourself is gonna attract every swingin’ dick in the county with a pea-sized brain controlling it,” Holly said laughing at her end.
“You sure know how to turn a phrase Holly, and with so much tact as well.”
They continued to joke with one another for some time not realizing how long they’d been talking or how much this call would cost Blanche. At the end of the call, Holly tried to be a bit more serious, expressing love and true concern for her friend located so far away.
“Really Blanche, how are you, you okay?”
“Holly, I have to tell you, I really miss you and everybody there, but moving here is the best thing I think I’ve ever done. I love my job, Valdosta is great, and I’ve had this funny feeling lately, it’s hard to describe, but I think it’s what happiness must feel like,” Blanche expressed.
She lay back on her bed and continued, saying more than she had intended to, “And I’ve met a young guy that makes me feel good, makes me feel special. Not so much in a love interest kind of way, but just makes me feel important and that I make a difference.”
“Blanche, I’m so happy for you and glad that it’s going well there. I miss you too, but I know you did what you knew you had to. So tell me, how much younger is he. What’s his name? You know, all the good stuff.” Holly anxiously awaited the answers.
“Well, he’s only 24, so that’s why I said he can’t really be a love interest or anything, but his name is Seymour, Seymour Wood,” Blanche detailed.
A loud laugh burst through the line that originated in Arizona and wound up in Georgia causing Blanche to push the phone away from her ear. Holly went on for what seemed like a minute or two before she could get herself under control.
“What? What’s so funny about a young guy maybe being into me, it’s only 9 years. I’ve seen worse and the fact that I’m his boss shouldn’t have anything to do with it.”
Holly finally contained her laughter and continued to snicker when she replied, “Oh Blanche, you are just too cute and naive. I think it’s great that you’ve got a younger admirer. Hold on a minute, did you just say you’re his boss. Oh that’s perfect, just perfect,” she started laughing again.
“What is so damn funny?” Blanche was starting to get a little irritated that her friend was having so much fun at her expense.
“It’s not that at all, it’s his name. Seymour Wood,” Holly chucked into the phone.
“I don’t get it, what’s the deal?”
“Are you serious, Blanche? You are kidding right?” her friend asked.
“No, I know it’s an old school name but I don’t find it that funny.”
“Blanche listen, k. Just listen. See More Wood,” Holly said, with distinct gaps in the syllables.
“Yeah, so what?”
Holly was stupefied, “Wood, Blanche, Wood. His last name is Wood! You know erection, stiff dick, hardon, woody…..See More Wood.”
“Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh, Holly! I’d never even…, oh that is kind of funny. Bet he gets crap for that all the time.”
The two shared a good laugh that only the best of friends can share; all that was missing was the extended hug that should follow.
After having caught up with each other, and everything, the two parted, a promise to talk again soon.
