“Yeah,” Jeremy said in awe. His throat had gone completely dry. He coughed and swallowed hard. “What’s happening?”
“Whatever the problem is with the universes, it’s not getting any better.”
“What universes are we talking about?”
“The universes of the castle. I’m not the one to ask about all that. I’ve never really understood it.” Linda thought for a moment. “Well, yes, I do understand it, but intuitively, I guess. Something’s wrong with the delicate balance between the universes. Since the castle is the focal point, it’s feeling the worst of the effects.”
“What do you mean by ‘focal point’?”
“That’s what’s even harder to explain, but I suppose I mean that since the castle’s connected to all these different universes, it’s like a hub, the center of a big wheel. It’s bound to be affected by what happens out on the rim.”
“Okay, I get it. Funny that this place would be the center of the universe.”
“Universes.”
“Whatever.”
Linda took a deep breath, then looked around. “But we have an even bigger problem.”
“Oh, God. What?”
“Didn’t you notice that everything is different, rearranged?”
“Yeah. So?”
“So. The stairs are gone. We have to find a different way downstairs. Let’s go.”
They went, but fifteen minutes later they had failed to locate another stairway. For the first time in a long time, Linda was lost in the castle.
“I don’t believe it,” she said. “I can’t get a fix on the Guest Wing.”
“The Guest Wing. Is that where the dining room is?”
“Right, and where all our sleeping rooms are. I’ve lost my sense of orientation. The castle must be undergoing drastic changes.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“I’ve been through this before. The castle was a much wilder place when I first got here. Don’t worry, I’ll get my bearings back.”
“But for now we’re lost, right?”
“Right. Take it easy. You really can’t get lost in the castle. You just keep walking, and …”
They kept walking, finding little but acres and acres of nondescript castle architecture.
Finally Linda sat on a stone bench and took off her boots, rubbed her feet.
“Damn it, I’m getting mad.”
Jeremy slumped to his haunches and leaned his back against the dark stone.
“We be lost now,” he said.
Linda gave him a sour look. “Thanks for clarifying the issue.”
Jeremy shrugged.
Linda looked him over. “How old are you?”
“Why?”
“Just asking.”
“Twenty-three.” Jeremy raised a hand. “I know what you’re gonna say. You’re gonna say I look fifteen.”
“Well, maybe seventeen. Nothing wrong with looking young. I wish I looked seventeen.”
“How old are you?”
“You’re not supposed to ask, but I just turned thirty. Over the hill.”
“I thought you looked pretty old.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“No, I didn’t mean you looked bad.”
Linda rolled her eyes. “Forget it.”
“Sorry.”
“You know, I think yours is a maturity problem, not so much looks. You act fifteen.”
“Hey, I apologized, okay?”
Linda put her boots back on. “Let’s get moving.”
“Where to? Why don’t we just stay put? We’re bound to run into someone.”
“Wrong. There are parts of the castle where nobody ever goes. You could wait forever and not see anyone.”
“But —”
“Don’t argue. If you want to stay here, fine.”
Jeremy sighed and cranked himself up. “No, I’m coming.”
An hour later, they were still lost. They had passed many a side chamber, some bare, others furnished. In one of the latter they stopped for a rest, and Linda magicked a picnic basket full of gourmet viands.
“Might as well have some fun,” she said, opening a tub of beluga caviar.
“What else is in here? What’s this stuff?”
“Read the label.”
“Pattee dee … what’s that?”
“Pate de foie gras. Goose-liver paste.”
“Yuck! You got something to eat in here?”
“Such as? I can conjure anything.”
“Anything? A baloney sandwich is what I could go for.”
“What low taste. Mustard?”
“No, mayonnaise, lettuce, American cheese, and dill pickle. Uh, please.”
“There it is.”
“Huh? Wow.” Jeremy reached out for the plate that had appeared on the table. On it lay an attractive arrangement of sandwich wedges, pickle slices, and olives, all trussed up with toothpicks and nestled on a bed of leaf lettuce.
“How the heck do you do that?” Jeremy demanded.
“It’s a gift. It’s the castle, actually. Anything to drink?”
“Yeah! How about a thick, creamy —”
A tremendous clap of thunder sounded.
“Uh-oh.” Linda stood up and looked around fearfully.
A tremendous shock wave hit, knocking them both down. Then the floor tossed them about like salad. The walls and ceilings turned into something positively fluid. They ran like melted wax, gobs of stuff dripping down.
Still holding on to his computer, Jeremy slid up against a wall, then felt the peculiar sensation of being absorbed into it. The stone was hot and gooey, like a marshmallow left too long in a campfire. He struggled to get away.
“Linda!” he screamed. “What’s happening?”
Her answer had a peculiar effect on him. On the one hand, it was good news, because he didn’t like the castle. On the other, in a very literal sense he didn’t know where he’d be without it.
What Linda had shouted back was: “The castle’s disappearing!”
Twenty-one
Drawing Room, Family Residence
He entered a spacious room full of stately furniture. Ancient tapestries draped the walls, hanging alongside antique weapons, shields, coats of arms, and suchlike. Glass-fronted cabinets stood here and about, displaying glassware and other historical artifacts. It was a quiet, comfortable room with many points of interest, among which was a curious device lying on a table to one side. He went directly to it.
