“What’s a castle?”
“A big house.”
“A big house.” She inhaled deeply and sighed. “Yes, I’ll go with you.”
“Let’s leave now.”
She kissed him. “Tomorrow. Let’s try to get me pregnant again.”
“All right, Alice. By the way, my name is Gene.”
“Gene.” She laughed. “Gene. It sounds funny.”
“Laugh all you want. It sounds wonderful.”
Twenty
Laboratory
Jeremy sat huddled over the terminal keyboard, typing away. His eyes were fixed on the screen, his fingers graceful dancers performing a complex choreography. Isis stood behind him, watching, one slender white hand on his shoulder. Osmirik sat at another section of the workstation, paging through an ancient leather-bound tome.
Jeremy’s fingers did a finale. Then he sat back and sighed.
“That’s the coding,” he said. Reaching, he jabbed at a few more keys. “Now we compile it, debug it, and see if it runs.”
“I am not sure,” Osmirik said, “that the spell will be effective until after we have subjected it to extensive evaluation and analysis. Casting a computer-aided spell is a science, a very new and untried one, whereas casting spells in the ancient manner is a very highly developed art. Art can compensate for much uncertainty.”
“Yeah, but I can’t do diddly-squat the old-fashioned way,” Jeremy said. “What magic I can do, I gotta do with computers. Crazy, but there it is.”
“I did not mean to imply that there was not an element of artistry in what you do, Jeremy. You are obviously an adept in your own right.”
“Yeah. But it’s still crazy.”
“There you go again,” Isis said.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t do that. Yeah, I’m pretty good, pretty good. Thank God my life’s not a total waste.”
Isis hugged his neck. “You’re doing a terrific job, Jeremy.”
“Thanks,” he said, blushing a bit. “Hey, you had a lot to do with all this.”
“I’m only doing my job.”
“And Ozzie here, he really did all the —”
A sharp rapping came from the laboratory door. The three froze.
Voices outside, then loud knocking.
“That may be —” Osmirik began.
Someone began pounding.
Osmirik rose and hurried to the door.
“Who is it?” he called.
“Guard!” came a voice from the other side. “Open up!”
“By whose authority are you acting?” Osmirik asked.
“Lord Incarnadine’s, you fool, who else’s? Now, open this door or we’ll break it down.”
“I am His Excellency the Royal Librarian. We are engaged in a task commissioned by His Majesty himself. We are not to be disturbed. Do you hear?”
“We hear. To the devil with your commission. Lord Incarnadine has ordered all castle personnel to report to the Guest Residence immediately.”
“On the contrary,” Osmirik stated. “Lord Incarnadine has ordered no such thing. We have been in direct communication with His Majesty, and he is nowhere in the castle at the moment. Your orders come from an impostor.”
There came cursing and general mumbling.
Osmirik turned toward the workstation. “Is the compilation process completed?”
Jeremy checked the screen. “Yeah.”
“Then we had best run the program and cast the spell.”
“I thought you said —?”
A sharp thwack came against the door. Another, then a flurry of them. The door shook under their impact.
“Axes,” Osmirik said. “The door is heart-of-oak, but they will make short work of it. Run the protective spell program.”
“But the bugs …?”
“Vermin or none, you must run it now.”
“Right. Okay, here goes nothing.”
Jeremy tapped out a few characters and slapped RETURN.
The arrangement of strange components that was the mainframe computer began to whir softly. The sound increased in pitch until it faded out of audible range. Lights flashed on panels, glass tubes pulsed, and sparks arced between electrodes.
Jeremy studied the screen. “Going pretty good, it looks like.”
The sound of the axes suddenly ceased.
Head cocked forward, Osmirik listened. There was silence on the other side. Then he put his ear against the door.
“Anything?” Jeremy asked.
Osmirik turned. “The spell has been efficacious. Unfortunately it seems the effects were rather more harsh than circumstances warranted.”
“Why?”
“I believe the men on the other side of this door are dead. There was no need of lethality. The spell’s potency could have been finely tuned to compensate. But …” Osmirik gave a mournful shrug.
“Forget it, Ozzie. You couldn’t help it.”
“Perhaps if I had modified a few of the component forces.”
“Don’t worry about it. I mean, hey, it’s too bad they got aced, but … you know, screw ’em.”
“Your connotation is clear. But I am not a soldier. I will never lightly regard the taking of a human life.”
“Sorry, Ozzie. I meant —”
“There is no time for this, Jeremy.”
“You’re right. We’ll do the Monday-morning quarterbacking later. What we gotta do now is get those readings on the interuniversal medium.”
Isis said, “But Lord Incarnadine said we should wait till he gets here.”
“That was before those guys outside got here. We might have whacked a few of them, but there are more where they came from. And pretty soon this impostor guy has got to come around. What’ll we do then?”
Osmirik said gravely, “I’m afraid he is right, Isis.”
“We have to take the
Isis nodded. “We’ll both go. I can modify myself to fit into the Toshiba.”
“Forget it. I’m going alone. One of us has to stay behind. We’ll keep in touch by modem.”
“Silly Jeremy.”
“What?”
“Don’t you know that I can copy myself and be loaded into two pieces of hardware at once?”
Jeremy sat up. “Hey, I guess so. Never thought of it. Boy, am I dumb.”
She kissed him on the forehead. “You and me, Jeremy. Let’s do it now.”
“Right. Ozzie, you’ll have to hold the fort while we’re gone.”
“Again, the metaphor is unambiguous. I will of course do my best.”
