Castle Dreams

He threw off the covers and arose from the royal bed. Naked, he stalked across the room and went into the privy, closing the door.

Water pipes gurgled.

At length he emerged in a red woolen dressing gown. He went to a dressing table and poured himself a drink from an earthen pitcher. He sipped. Scowling, he poured the rest of the tepid water back into the pitcher.

He moved to the liquor cabinet and examined the offerings. Finally selecting a bottle of rye, he served himself a stiff drink and spritzed a tiny bit of soda into it.

He tossed the whole thing off in one go. Grimacing, he put the glass down.

He considered going back to bed, but reconsidered.

He turned on a lamp. The red leather chair next to the bookshelf looked comfortable. He eased into it, picked up the current book he was reading, a murder mystery, and lifted his slippered feet onto the footstool.

Settling back, he took a deep breath. He opened the book to the spot the bookmark marked and began reading.

After a moment he lowered the book and frowned pensively. He tried to remember the dream, but couldn’t.

He shook his head.

“I have got to stop eating those damned submarine sandwiches so late at night.”

Thirty Final Exam

This test will count as 60 % of your final grade. Read each question carefully. Extra points will be awarded for cogent reasoning, elegant prose style, political correctness, and neatness. When you are finished, close your test booklet and sit quietly until everyone is done. Do not gloat at sluggards. Do not pare your nails. You may begin.

Write a 500-word essay on any three of the following:

Question No. 1

Does that author cheat who ends a story with “ … and it was all a dream”? Discuss what “cheat” could mean in this context. Is an author’s desperate need for cash any excuse?

Question No. 2

Trace the roots of the literature of the fantastic to its ancient origins. Is it true that an appreciable percentage of the aficionados of this sort of literature, down through the ages, have had a weight problem and tended to favor the wearing of bib overalls?

Question No. 3

Give a brief summary of the history of Tierra del Fuego, outlining its political, economic, cultural, and social development, and tell why this tiny, brave nation[30] is important to the growth of genre fantasy in the latter third of the 20th century.

Question No. 4

Of what significance, if any, is the nonsense phrase “Tekeli-li,” and what could the author possibly have had in mind? Explain “mind” in this context.

Question No. 5

Why must I be a teenager in love?

Question No. 6

Briefly outline the historical development of castles in western Europe. What, if anything, do they have to do with cannoli? By the way, is “cannoli” singular or plural? Are the vanilla kind better than the chocolate?

Question No. 7

Tell why you like reading stories about dragons and castles and fairies and that sort of thing. Have you ever read, say,A la recherche du temps perdu by Marcel Proust? Compare and contrast this book with any genre fantasy novel and explain why a writer would spend 30 pages describing how he rolls over in bed (no kidding). Why do the French think so highly of Jerry Lewis?

Biography John DeChancie

John DeChancie is a popular author of numerous science fiction/fantasy novels including the hugely entertaining CASTLE series and STARRIGGER trilogy. He lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

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Примечания

1

Castle Kidnapped

2

Castle for Rent and Castle War!

3

Faster than light.

4

See Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne.