Melanie's green eyes went wide. 'What? Oh. Official, eh? I've never- Wait a minute, I guess I have been someone's official mistress. What am I talking about? Sure. But, you mean like, official official?'
'Oh, the title is only half-serious. But a mistress is a mistress. Let's face it, that's what you are when you sleep with a guy with no assurance of his making an honest woman out of you.'
'What a phrase,' Melanie sneered. 'Anyway, I guess you're right. The rat.'
'He's not a rat. He has responsibilities, that sort of thing.'
'Yeah, they always do. So, you love him?'
'I can't help but. If you knew, you'd understand.'
Melanie shrugged. 'I thought I loved Chad. And I'm glad I had his twins, but…'
'I haven't seen your kids in ages, come to think of it.'
'They're at day care mostly. You should see the place. It's literally a palace. They love it.'
'I'll have to drop by there someday. Anyway, you were saying?'
'About Chad? I used to think I loved him, but- You know, it seems like so long ago. As if I was a child then. I guess I was. Done a lot of growing up since. He was a dork, Chad was. A big, bumbling, goofy dork of a guy-nice, but not very interesting. Just your basic… you know, guy.'
'Sure.'
'Yeah. And that was that, and that was then, and this is now, and… I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say.'
'I do,' Linda said. 'What you're trying to say is that you have one life and you live it, you take it one day at a time. You fall in love, maybe, and if you're lucky it's nice. If you're not, not.'
'Simple,' Melanie said, nodding.
'Yup. That's life. What it's all about.'
'So, you really love this new guy.'
'Yes. You really couldn't find a better one.'
'No?'
'No. You couldn't possibly. He… he's the top. He's like Superman.'
'Holy heck. You fell in love with Superman?'
'Call me Lois Lane.'
'Wow. Hope I get to meet him someday.'
Linda snickered.
Melanie said, 'I do know him?' Melanie began to think furiously.
'You'll never guess in a million years,' Linda said.
Melanie narrowed her eyes. 'Is he married?'
'Yes.
Melanie nodded cynically. 'I get it. Mistress. Boy, that's rotten.'
'You mean I'm rotten, for doing dirt to his wife.'
'No, that's not what I-'
'But you should have said it. It's true. I'm a homewrecker. The Other Woman. But hell, I think-I don't know for sure, but it's probably true-I think he has many women. And wives. All over the place.'
'No kidding. He-' Melanie did a take. 'Huh?'
'Never mind, kid. I love him, and that's all there is to it.'
'If you say so.' Melanie furrowed her brow in thought.
'Sure is a big church,' Linda said abstractedly.
'Yeah. Listen, tell me this. You mean if Gene had showed up, you would have married him?'
'Of course.'
Melanie began to reply, but decided against it. After a moment she said simply, 'Oh.'
A noise came from the vestibule of the chapel: a strange and incongruous sound, given the location: the clopping of horse's hooves. The girls looked up in curiosity and puzzlement.
A magnificent white stallion burst out onto the floor, running full tilt toward the altar. The girls remained seated, transfixed at the strange sight. At the last second the rider reined the horse in and skidded to a stop. The animal reared, neighing its dismay. Then it stamped its feet, snorting angrily.
The rider was Gene, dressed in furs and leather. He dismounted.
'You'd better have a good excuse,' Linda said.
'We were captured by barbarians,' Gene replied.
'You're going to have to do better than that.'
'It happens to be true. Anyway, I'm here,' he said. 'Where is everybody?'
'Left,' Linda said. 'The wedding was supposed to be two hours ago.'
'You should have waited. Really, I fully intended to show up on time, but ran into a pack of bandits on the way back from Orem. That's the capital city. We besieged it, and… well, it's a long story.'
'I'm sure,' Linda said.
Gene took a deep breath and looked around. 'Place is deserted. Did anyone show up?'
'Sure.'
'Inky?'
'Nope.'
'Oh. Well, then…'
'Gene, you really shouldn't have left when you did.'
'Honest, Linda, we had no choice. Snowy and I were just lounging around, and over the hill comes this horde, this… it was amazing. You should have seen all the-'
'I'm sure you have a good excuse, Gene,' Linda said wearily. 'You always do.'
'Hey, listen. Linda, I'm sorry. I really am.'
'I know.'
Gene was amazed. 'You know?'
'Yup. It's okay.'
'It's okay?'
'Sure. It wasn't your fault.'
'No, it wasn't. We literally got carried away. I mean, we could have come back sooner, an opportunity presented itself now and then, but there was an empire at stake, and a civilization. We had to save it.'
'I understand.'
'You do?' Gene sat on the steps. 'I must say, you're taking this awfully well.'
'What else can I do?'
'Well, I don't know. Yell at me a little.'
'What good would it do?'
'None, I'm afraid. I'm incorrigible.'
'You are. You're a big overgrown kid.'
Gene looked sheepishly contrite. 'Yeah. Sorry.'
'It's okay.'
'So.' Gene rubbed his hands together nervously. 'Shall we reschedule?'
'Let's talk it about it later.'
'Oh. Sure, sure.'
Linda stood up. She waved both hands, and her wedding dress disappeared, replaced by shorts, tights, boots, and blouse.
'Whew, glad to get out of those duds. Gene, come here.'
'Uh, okay.'
Gene went over to her. Linda balled her fist and hit him a good one in the stomach.
Gent went 'Whoof!' and doubled over.
'Sorry, but I had to get that off my chest.' Melanie looked away, laughing.
'I guess-' Gene bent over again until he finally caught his breath. 'Guess I deserved that.'
'You certainly did. And if you hit me back, I'll turn you into a toad.'
'I wouldn't hit you back, you know that.'
