A Rich Full Death

hope to feel once again that signifying power which can fix the formless flux of being into a lattice as perfectly structured and coherent as a crystal.

That alone can justify my life. And that, alone, can justify it.

Yours most affectionately,

Booth

BOOK TWO

Another Kind of Love

9

Tuesday 14th

My dear Prescott,

I have so much to tell you I scarcely know where or how to start. I will therefore begin at the beginning: with those high hopes which ended my last letter-and which were utterly dashed to pieces not twenty-four hours later, in a quiet yew-lined alley at the English Cemetery.

As the Church here will not allow heretics to be buried within the city walls, the graveyard in question is on a little knoll just outside the Pinti gate. It is normally a quiet, not to say lonely, spot; but on the occasion of DeVere’s burial service on Saturday afternoon half Florence seemed to be there, despite the gloomy weather. The diplomatic corps was of course out in force, to say nothing of the Grand Duke’s personal band, who played a selection of lugubrious melodies with great relish before unwisely attempting ‘God Save the Queen’, which emerged sounding like the Grand March from Signor Verdi’s latest extravaganza.

I had wondered whether Mr Browning would attend the funeral. He had admitted that he did not know DeVere-but how was he to explain to his wife and Mr Powers that he could not be bothered to pay his last respects to a man whose word had been enough to draw him from his hearth on a foul night less than a week earlier?

At all events, he was there, surrounded by all the important names of Florence: poets, novelists, essayists, artists, diplomats, critics, and the like. Seizing what I saw as a golden opportunity to exploit my hard-won intimacy with Mr Browning, I pushed my way through the throng of eminent personages and greeted him familiarly.

Never have I been so cruelly reminded that pride comes before a fall. The change in his manner was painfully perceptible — and not only to me, which would have been quite bad enough a case, but to all and sundry. I was not only disgraced, but publicly disgraced.

Not that Browning was in the least unpleasant or brusque. The opposite, rather-his expression was laden with that over-solicitude, that excess of polite interest which the English use with people they do not like, or have no interest in, or wish for whatever reason to keep at a distance.

Desperate to get away and hide my shame, I gabbled something about hoping that we could meet again some time soon.

‘Ah, yes. Yes indeed,’ Browning replied vaguely. ‘Yes, we must try to see if we cannot do something of the kind at some time.’

I caught a smile on one of the faceless faces about me, and to wipe it off pursued, ‘I am free all next week, for example!’

‘Are you indeed? I envy you! But my wife, as you may know, is very poorly at present, and so I must regretfully put the claims of society on one side for the moment-indeed, for the foreseeable future.’

Then, looking about him, he exclaimed suddenly, ‘But this will never do, Mr Booth! I am monopolising you most shamefully.’

And he turned gracefully away, and was closed in by a group including young Lytton, the scribbling diplomat he and his wife cultivate. This individual looked at me as they went off, and said something to Browning with what looked most unpleasantly like a smirk. Browning replied-I know not what, nor do I want to know-and Lytton, the puppy, laughed. It was all about as mortifying as can well be imagined.

I made my way home alone, feeling utterly and completely miserable. The light that had flared up and seemed to settle into a steady flame had now been brutally extinguished, leaving me in a darkness even more total than before. I called myself a fool, a credulous idiot, for being so completely mistaken about the nature of Browning’s interest in me. So far from our relationship being impeded by his fascination with Isabel’s death, it was now clear that it had been that and that alone which had kept it in existence. Now we were like strangers: worse than strangers, indeed, for as strangers we could in time have come to know each other, gradually building an acquaintanceship that might have ripened-given all the goodwill on my side, at least-into real friendship.

But from the moment I had unluckily happened to stumble on Browning’s secret that night at the villa, everything had changed. The immediate effect was almost miraculous, permitting me to develop what appeared to be a close intimacy with Robert Browning after only a few hours’ acquaintance. But like forced fruit, the resulting friendship ripened early and then quickly rotted. The secret which had bound us together then, now split us irrevocably apart. With Isabel and DeVere dead and buried, the mere sight of me could be nothing to Browning but a goad to his conscience, a reminder of whatever guilty knowledge he harbours in his breast. Useless to tell him that I do not care what that secret is! I know, and he knows that I know, and that fact now stands between us like the memory of some ancient wrong.

Thus I reasoned, worming myself deeper and deeper into the clinging clayey stuff of despair.

Saturday passed, and Sunday: two days, like most of those which make up a life, so featureless and devoid of incident that they blur into one another, forming one undistinguished lump of time. I lolled around my rooms, stared out of my window, leafed through musty old books, elaborated a thousand impossible schemes, lay on my sofa and gazed up at the ceiling with its elaborate design of concentric circles. I saw no one and no one came to see me. I almost ceased to exist, reduced to a mere licked whimpering spirit hiding in its corner, more than half in love with easeful death.

But such a state could not last, and when Monday dawned bright and clear and sunny I shook off this unhealthy inactivity and determined to escape from the grey walls of Florence and fill my lungs with some country air. There is a stables some little distance from my house, and there I went and hired a gig for a modest sum, and stood in the sunlight and smoked a cigar while the stable lads hitched my vehicle up, allowing myself to be diverted by the sheer vitality of the scene-all the coming and going occasioned by the presence in the same yard of a poultry shop where two frowsy girls stood plucking fowl, a wagon-maker’s where a new cart was being painted, a smithy at his bellows, and a cheap inn for the peasantry attached to the stables. All this at the bottom of a well, as it were, with lines of washing strung overhead from one back-balcony to another, and caged canaries chirping away like mad-and through it all a patch of pale delicate blue sky just visible.

It was a week to the day since I had undertaken the journey to Siena to verify Joseph Eakin’s alibi, and by dint of brooding upon everything that had happened since then, I found myself taking the same road past the Guidi Palace (I gave it hardly a glance) to the imposing Porta Romana, where as usual I was held up for a lengthy period by the press of bullock-carts laden with vegetables and hides and demijohns of oil and wine, for everything that comes to market here must still pay a stiff tax at the city gate, as in the Middle Ages.

Once outside the walls it is unusual to see another vehicle, and thus I was free to enjoy to the full the beauties of the road, which are considerable even at this time of year. The gentle slopes of reddish-brown soil were superbly offset by the olive trees, with their elusive shade of grey-green-though the mystery, somehow, is as much in the texture of the colour as its shade-which, together with the whole of the pale blue sky I had but glimpsed before, made up a very pleasing composition. It was moreover one of those days when the clarity of the air makes crystal seem murky by comparison. You feel that if only your eyes were good enough you could count the buttons on a shepherd’s coat five miles away, or reach out and pick up the team of miniature white buffalo ploughing that