Where is the object, then?'
'Didn't you put it away in some drawer, perhaps?'
'I've looked everywhere, and turned out everything.'
'I confess this disturbs me a good deal. Someone must have picked it up, then.'
'Or taken it out of my pocket--two alternatives.'
'It is very distressing, because WHO--? That's the question!'
'Most undoubtedly, excellent prince, you have hit it--that is the very question. How wonderfully you express the exact situation in a few words!'
'Come, come, Lebedeff, no sarcasm! It's a serious--'
'Sarcasm!' cried Lebedeff, wringing his hands. 'All right, all right, I'm not angry. I'm only put out about this. Whom do you suspect?'
'That is a very difficult and complicated question. I cannot suspect the servant, for she was in the kitchen the whole evening, nor do I suspect any of my children.'
'I should think not. Go on.'
'Then it must be one of the guests.'
'Is such a thing possible?'
'Absolutely and utterly impossible--and yet, so it must be. But one thing I am sure of, if it be a theft, it was committed, not in the evening when we were all together, but either at night or early in the morning; therefore, by one of those who slept here. Burdovsky and Colia I except, of course. They did not even come into my room.'
'Yes, or even if they had! But who did sleep with you?' 'Four of us, including myself, in two rooms. The general, myself, Keller, and Ferdishenko. One of us four it must have been. I don't suspect myself, though such cases have been known.'
'Oh! DO go on, Lebedeff! Don't drag it out so.'
'Well, there are three left, then--Keller firstly. He is a drunkard to begin with, and a liberal (in the sense of other people's pockets), otherwise with more of the ancient knight about him than of the modern liberal. He was with the sick man at first, but came over afterwards because there was no place to lie down in the room and the floor was so hard.'
'You suspect him?'
'I DID suspect him. When I woke up at half-past seven and tore my hair in despair for my loss and carelessness, I awoke the general, who was sleeping the sleep of innocence near me. Taking into consideration the sudden disappearance of Ferdishenko, which was suspicious in itself, we decided to search Keller, who was lying there sleeping like a top. Well, we searched his clothes thoroughly, and not a farthing did we find; in fact, his pockets all had holes in them. We found a dirty handkerchief, and a love- letter from some scullery-maid. The general decided that he was innocent. We awoke him for further inquiries, and had the greatest difficulty in making him understand what was up. He opened his mouth and stared--he looked so stupid and so absurdly innocent. It wasn't Keller.'
'Oh, I'm so glad!' said the prince, joyfully. 'I was so afraid.'
'Afraid! Then you had some grounds for supposing he might be the culprit?' said Lebedeff, frowning.
'Oh no--not a bit! It was foolish of me to say I was afraid! Don't repeat it please, Lebedeff, don't tell anyone I said that!'
'My dear prince! your words lie in the lowest depth of my heart-- it is their tomb!' said Lebedeff, solemnly, pressing his hat to the region of his heart.
'Thanks; very well. Then I suppose it's Ferdishenko; that is, I mean, you suspect Ferdishenko?'
'Whom else?' said Lebedeff, softly, gazing intently into the prince s face.
'Of course--quite so, whom else? But what are the proofs?'
'We have evidence. In the first place, his mysterious disappearance at seven o'clock, or even earlier.'
'I know, Colia told me that he had said he was off to--I forget the name, some friend of his, to finish the night.'
'H'm! then Colia has spoken to you already?'
'Not about the theft.'
'He does not know of it; I have kept it a secret. Very well, Ferdishenko went off to Wilkin's. That is not so curious in itself, but here the evidence opens out further. He left his address, you see, when he went. Now prince, consider, why did he leave his address? Why do you suppose he went out of his way to tell Colia that he had gone to Wilkin's? Who cared to know that he was going to Wilkin's? No, no! prince, this is finesse, thieves' finesse! This is as good as saying, 'There, how can I be a thief when I leave my address? I'm not concealing my movements as a thief would.' Do you understand, prince?'
'Oh yes, but that is not enough.'
'Second proof. The scent turns out to be false, and the address given is a sham. An hour after--that is at about eight, I went to Wilkin's myself, and there was no trace of Ferdishenko. The maid did tell me, certainly, that an hour or so since someone had been hammering at the door, and had smashed the bell; she said she would not open the door because she didn't want to wake her master; probably she was too lazy to get up herself. Such phenomena are met with occasionally!'
'But is that all your evidence? It is not enough!'
'Well, prince, whom are we to suspect, then? Consider!' said Lebedeff with almost servile amiability, smiling at the prince. There was a look of cunning in his eyes, however.
'You should search your room and all the cupboards again,' said the prince, after a moment or two of silent reflection.
'But I have done so, my dear prince!' said Lebedeff, more sweetly than ever.
'H'm! why must you needs go up and change your coat like that?' asked the prince, banging the table with his fist, in annoyance.
'Oh, don't be so worried on my account, prince! I assure you I am not worth it! At least, not I alone. But I see you are suffering on behalf of the criminal too, for wretched Ferdishenko, in fact!'
'Of course you have given me a disagreeable enough thing to think about,' said the prince, irritably, 'but what are you going to do, since you are so sure it was Ferdishenko?'
'But who else COULD it be, my very dear prince?' repeated Lebedeff, as sweet as sugar again. 'If you don't wish me to suspect Mr. Burdovsky?'
'Of course not.'
'Nor the general? Ha, ha, ha!'
'Nonsense!' said the prince, angrily, turning round upon him.
'Quite so, nonsense! Ha, ha, ha! dear me! He did amuse me, did the general! We went off on the hot scent to Wilkin's together, you know; but I must first observe that the general was even more thunderstruck than I myself this morning, when I awoke him after discovering the theft; so much so that his very face changed--he grew red and then pale, and at length flew into a paroxysm of such noble wrath that I assure you I was quite surprised! He is a most generous-hearted man! He tells lies by the thousands, I know, but it is merely a weakness; he is a man of the highest feelings; a simple-minded man too, and a man who carries the conviction of innocence in his very appearance. I love that man, sir; I may have told you so before; it is a weakness of mine. Well--he suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, opened out his coat and bared his breast. 'Search me,' he says, 'you searched Keller; why don't you search me too? It is only fair!' says he. And all the while his legs and hands were trembling with anger, and he as white as a sheet all over! So I said to him, 'Nonsense, general; if anybody but yourself had said that to me, I'd have taken my head, my own head, and put it on a large dish and carried it round to anyone who suspected you; and I should have said: 'There, you see that head? It's my head, and I'll go bail with that head for him! Yes, and walk through the fire for him, too. There,' says I, 'that's how I'd answer for you, general!' Then he embraced me, in the middle of the street, and hugged me so tight (crying over me all the while) that I coughed fit to choke! 'You are the one friend left to me amid all my misfortunes,' says he. Oh, he's a man of sentiment, that! He went on to tell me a story of how he had been accused, or suspected, of stealing five hundred thousand roubles once, as a young man; and how, the very next day, he had rushed into a burning, blazing house and saved the very count who suspected him, and Nina Alexandrovna (who was then a young girl), from a fiery death. The count embraced him, and that was how he came to marry Nina Alexandrovna, he said. As for the money, it was found among the ruins next day in an English iron box with a secret lock; it had got under the floor somehow, and if it had
