The Secretary's Secret

His words punched Alex in the gut. Leave? But…

‘You’ve achieved what you set out to, Alex. Kit’s house is coming along. The bathroom wil be finished by the end of the week.’

So soon? Alex stuck out his jaw. ‘I’m staying til it’s completely finished. In case there are any snags.’

Frank opened his mouth but with a shake of his head he shut it. ‘Let’s go for a swim.’

‘It’s al done. Completely finished.’

Alex stared at Frank, a bal of heaviness growing in his chest. It was Friday. ‘But…they said they didn’t think they’d be finished til tomorrow.’

‘They stayed late yesterday to finish up.’

The older man stretched his legs out in front of him. Alex couldn’t stretch anything. He ground a fist into the sand.

‘It looks grand.’

He was fiercely glad about that. He wanted Kit’s house perfect. But finished…?

Was Frank sure? ‘So the external painting is…?’

‘White with blue trim.’

Just like Kit wanted. ‘The guttering is replaced?’

‘Tick.’

‘The internal painting is al done?’

‘It’s lovely and fresh inside now.’

‘And the bathroom is new and clean and functional?’

‘Complete with that fancy shower unit.’

As each item was ticked off the list, Alex’s heart grew heavier. He wanted to ask what Kit thought of it. Did she like it? ‘What about the nursery?’ He latched onto that as a last straw.

‘She wants to decorate the nursery herself.’

She’d asked him to help her. His shoulders sagged. She didn’t want his help any more. She didn’t want to clap eyes on him ever again.

Not that he could blame her.

‘So your job here is done.’

‘I guess so.’ The words emerged slowly, reluctantly. So why didn’t it feel done?

‘Did you know that Doreen and I lost a child?’

Alex swung around.

‘It was a long time ago. Benji—he was nine. The sweetest little kid. Cancer.’

Alex stared. Final y he shook himself. ‘Frank, I had no idea.’ At least Chad was playing somewhere, happy, with his whole life to look forward to. ‘Mate, I’m real y sorry.’

Frank nodded. ‘That kind of thing, it can tear your life apart, you know?’

He nodded. He knew.

‘I’m ashamed to admit it, but I took to drinking for a while.’

Alex’s lips twisted. ‘They cal it self-medication these days.’

Frank snorted. ‘That’s just rot!’

They both stared out at the golden curve of beach spread out before them, at the clear water in the Rock Pool with its tiny waves breaking right on the shoreline. So calm, so peaceful, belying the swirl of emotions that slugged through Alex. ‘What got you through it?’ he final y asked.

‘I had Doreen and three other kiddies, al who needed me. When I realized I was letting them down, I…’ The older man’s voice broke. Alex found his eyes burning. ‘I suddenly realized that Benji, if he knew how I was behaving, he would’ve been ashamed of me.’

Alex raised his knees, rested his elbows on them and dropped his head to his hands. Sand from his hands ground against his forehead but he didn’t care. He ached for Frank and for al the other man had been through, but their situations were not the same.

‘You going to join me for one last swim, lad?’

Alex nodded and fol owed Frank down to the water. He grimaced at the term Frank had used

— last swim. It sounded like a condemned man’s last supper. When his feet hit the water he had to admit that it felt that way too. He didn’t bother waiting for his body to adjust to the change of temperature. He dived straight in and started slicing through the water, pushing his body harder and faster. No matter how fast he went, his thoughts raced faster.

Kit’s house was finished. There was nothing more he could do here. It was time to return to Sydney, or…

Or what? Stay holed up in his hotel room like some damn hideaway?

He kicked his legs harder, pumped his arms faster, did lap after lap along the net of the Rock Pool until eventual y he thought his lungs would burst.

Pool until eventual y he thought his lungs would burst.

Halting, he shook the water out of his eyes and dragged an agonised breath into his body. Frank