It’s only a 247-bed hospital, so if there are 100-150 patients during the outbreak, doesn’t that seem about right?
Blake
• • •
We can always lop off the 5th floor, too. I think four stories is about right.
Blake
• • •
Also, to make putting this together easier, we need to break up our own individual sections and chapters.
So when I write the first Jenny scene, it will be JOE 1.0, JOE 1.1, etc.
When I write a new scene, it will be JOE 2.0, JOE 2.1. JOE 2.2.
Blake, I’m still working on the morgue scene. But I’ll split up the Lanz section at the end and make that BLAKE 2.0.
That way, we can work on different sections, and it will be easier to piece this into a linear narrative.
Joe
• • •
Joe - I think as soon as
-you write Jenny’s scene
-wrap up the Morgue scene
-write Oasis into 7
-Jeff writes Benny the Clown into 7
-Paul addresses Shanna in chapter 4
we can put all of that into the main manuscript document and we will truly be set up. Then we’ll be crossing over much less than these opening chapters. Also I’m all for getting rid of chapters at the end, but I think it’s been helpful up to this point.
Blake
• • •
Great chapter, Jeff.
Are you sure you want the chainsaw gone so quickly? I’d sorta like Randall to have it for a while. He could siphon gas out of his truck.
I’ll write a scene where Jenny finds Randall and they go to pediatrics. But before I do, let’s decide if the chainsaw is in play or broken. I like it running out of gas, but I also want him to be able to cut some draculas up.
Joe
• • •
Morgue scene done. Have at it.
Had to change the last line, because I introduced Benny earlier, but I think it works.
Joe
• • •
Ditto great chapter, love how you’re bringing out Randall’s stubbornness. I laughed out loud at the wrong church line—absolutely perfectly says who this guy is.
But have to admit, I was sad when he broke the chainsaw. I also hadn’t imagined he would get into it with Mortimer right away. I thought maybe Mortimer’s already gone by the time he gets back. I don’t know. What do you think? You know everyone can’t wait to see Randall fuck some draculas up with a chainsaw so maybe tease it out a bit?
Also, I have a friend who’s essentially a lumberjack, but he gets real upset if you call him that. “He’s an
Blake
• • •
I love having the chainsaw taken out of the equation so quickly after all the buildup and never used for its intended purpose. Horror fans have already had their share of chainsaw mayhem. We’ve got a whole hospital full of ways to kill draculas!
Jeff
• • •
Oh, that wasn’t supposed to be Mortimer. Just a random dracula. I’ll add some sort of distinguishing characteristic to make that clear.
Jeff
• • •
In theory, the hospital could have some landscaping supplies in the basement. After being robbed of his chainsaw moment early on, Randall could find one near the end of the book and finally get his chance to go wild.
Jeff
• • •
Blake and I thought up the idea of a lumberjack so he’d have a truck full of toys to play with. Or else, why use him as a character?
Just spoke to Blake. We like it running out of gas. But it probably wouldn’t break, even if used to bash in a skull. Those saws are made really tough.
How about Randall holds onto it, refusing to let it go, even though it is out of gas? Then he could finally find some gas and let loose. It would be funny, stubborn, and oddly poignant that he won’t give up something he’s attached to—a metaphor for his relationship with Jenny.
Or else he has more saws and axes in his truck.
Either way, we’d really like this guy to be armed with the tools of his trade, even if he can’t use them until later.
Joe
• • •
Here’s the morgue scene.
Joe
• • •
Standing ovation…fucking killer scene.
Blake
• • •
On reflection, I think you should write something in Oasis’ POV. Equate blood to candy for her. Could even show her throwing a tantrum b/c she wants it and she doesn’t have it. Maybe it doesn’t occur to her right away that she might be able to kill people to get it. They’re adults and on some level she still thinks of them like that. Maybe she attacks someone and gets the shit beat out of her. Then realizes she needs to go where the kiddies and the babies are.
Blake
• • •
Nice. Maybe u should write the scene.
Joe
• • •
I will, but you have to help me with Mortimer later on. So now, just write the Jenny scene, and we should have it ready to go.
Blake
• • •
I’ve added a very quick scene with Benny the Clown to the end of Chapter 7. But I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to mess with Blake’s file, so I’ve saved the chapter in my own folder as BENNY 1.0.
Jeff
