dialogue throughout, right?
Jeff
• • •
I think I already asked you to do that in his scene with Clay, but if I’ve got any others, feel free.
Paul
• • •
For sure, and that brings up a good point…be on the lookout for scenes where others have written your characters, b/c that’s where most of the inconsistencies may arise.
Blake
• • •
Absolutely. Also, the scenes I have Benny in might be a bit different from your Benny scenes, Jeff, so go ahead and tweak. Ditto for Dr. Lanz, Paul. You originally created his voice, then I stole him for the Jenny scenes. If you want to adjust him, go for it.
Joe
• • •
Also Paul - I assume you’ve been keeping tabs on this already, but if you see any medical terminology, etc. that we’ve screwed up, please feel free to just fix it.
Blake
• • •
Re: comments going thru Draculas 4.5…
Pajamas gone — Mort needs pants on so Shanna can recognize the buckle
Moved Eastwood outgoing message up.
Oasis’ — Oasis is singular. I know you see otherwise, but where I come from, a singular possessive requires an ‘s — as in Oasis’s. Only plural possessive get a lone ‘. Agree? Disagree?
Red eyes or black eyes on the draculas?
Paul
• • •
Agree with the s’s. Hate how it looks, but it’s correct.
Draculas have huge black pupils. But the white of their eyes is bloodshot.
Joe
• • •
Got it.
Paul
• • •
“We need to get them safe so they can be sick and die in peace.”
If this isn’t my favorite line in the book, it’s way up there.
Paul
• • •
“Is that…a flamingo?” asked the old woman.
Okay, this is up there too.
Paul
September 25, 2010
I just updated the Draculas Amazon pages to mention the deleted scenes and alternate endings.
Right now we’ve sold 101 preorders, and have had 702 downloads of the sample chapters. Not huge numbers, but they’ll go up when we start getting reviews. They’ll really go up when the book goes live. Readers aren’t big on samples or preorders, but once the real thing is available, they’ll pull the trigger. I have no doubt this will outsell all of my other ebooks, and I’ve got ebooks that have sold over 2500 copies in a month.
Paul and Jeff, makes sure you add Draculas to your Amazon pages. Blake and I already have.
There’s a dracula skull sketch in the dropbox. The plan is to get 5 more similar drawings and put them in the ebook, Hardy Boys style.
The Draculas website should be up soon. It has a forum. You’ll all be expected to make at least a token appearance there.
We’re also going to do a 48 state, six month tour to support the book, starting on Christmas Eve. Break it to your wives now. I already spent $600 on the 1978 VW Van that we’ll be touring in and living out of. It has a mini fridge and four cots. The van has a faint odor (it’s either feet or cheese), but I think that will be masked by the Porta Potty I’m having installed.
During the tour, we’ll each need to bring $35,000, for gas, food, and prostitutes. That dollar figure has been carefully worked out, and doesn’t include narcotics. If you want narcotics, plan on bringing extra cash.
Since we’ll be living in close quarters for half a year, we need to make sure we’re up to date on our vaccinations. Also, I want to disclose that I have ringworm, but I’ve been told it isn’t very contagious.
Joe
• • •
Guys, from the beginning, Joe and I wanted the end of this book to resonate, inversely, to Night of the Living Dead, where instead of the one good guy getting killed in the end, the one bad guy escapes. With that in mind, I’m writing a short little scene from the POV of a private who has been tasked with shooting anything that comes out of the hospital following the massive blast…I’ll drop it in my folder, and if everyone likes it, maybe Jeff can add it in when he begins his review. It will occur between the scene where Clay gets blown out of the hospital and Shanna meets Dr. Cook. This sound OK?
Blake
• • •
Sounds good, Blake. Maybe stick it in (and fix those typos you found) when Paul finishes his pass, then it can go to Jeff. No reason to wait…
Joe
September 26, 2010
Finished my read through and I’ve gotta say, this thing moves like a sumbitch, but manages to build some real relationships along the way. It’s by turns hilarious, horrific, and poignant, but the momentum it achieves toward the end is (to borrow from Mr. Jobs) insanely relentless. The four styles mesh smoothly. Almost seamless.
Adding to my previous comments:
Pg. 121 Moved the Wolkenstein explanation up because timing-wise it needs to be in hour two.
Speaking of hours, I think we should get rid of the “Hour” dividers. They interrupt the flow, they’re inaccurate, and serve only to distract and cornfuse.
Pg 127: Randall — what happened to the dracs following him in his previous section? They seem to have disappeared. Also, his leg doesn’t seem to be bothering him as he’s kicking the wheelchair back again and again.
I changed Lanz’s amputation a teeny bit. No need to saw through bone in the glenohumeral joint — it’s a ball-and-socket joint; you need only cut away the tissues holding the ball in the socket.
Pg 146 — Adam’s backpack: “Adam took it, unzipped it, and dumped the contents—a change of clothes and some toiletries.”
doesn’t jibe with:
Pg 161: “Unshouldered his backpack, hands shaking so badly he could barely unzip it. He pulled out his iPad, powered it up.”
Maybe he could pull it from a side compartment. That aside, an iPad seems like an expensive toy for a young minister. A netbook might be more his speed, and serve the same purpose.
I changed Sgt. Halford to a colonel. Can’t see a non-com with that kind of authority and responsibility
pg 236 “I’m catching a cab out of here.” Didn’t sound right. I changed it to: “I’m arranging a ride into town.”
Along the way I divided up a Clay scene and a Shanna scene to coincide with the timeline a little better.
