Close to the Bone

envelope and tore it open.

‘Really? Is this a regular thing, or a special favour, because the PF would definitely use this stable isotope thingy a lot more often if it’s free.’

Inside were two sheets of paper tagged with little yellow Post-its marked ‘SIGN HERE’ with an arrow pointing to the relevant part of the form. Logan’s pulse thumped in his ears, pins and needles sparking along his forearms. ‘Holy mother of crap. .’

‘I beg your pardon? ’

‘I. .’ He licked his lips. ‘Got to go, something’s. . Bye.’ He hung up. Put the phone down with all the other rubbish from his jacket pockets. Cleared his throat. Blinked at the sheet of paper in his hand. The words were still there:

IHAMISH ALEXANDER SELKIRK MOWAT(Mains of Clerkhill, Grandhome, Aberdeen, AB22 8AV), being of sound mind, do hereby nominate and appointLOGAN MCRAE(23 Persley Park Caravan Park, Aberdeen, AB21 9NS) as sole executor for my last will and testament, and further grant him CONTINUING and WELFARE POWER of ATTORNEY. .

Oh dear Jesus. No. No chance. No chance in hell.

Logan tore the brown envelope open and tipped the contents into his hand. It was a cheque for thirty thousand pounds.

‘Little shite. .’

‘. .cheeky bastard gave me a cheque for thirty thousand pounds! Can you believe it? The sodding nerve of-’

‘Oh boo hoo.’ Samantha yawned at him down the phone. ‘Are you seriously moaning because someone gave you thirty grand? I mean, really? ’

Union Street sparkled in the sunshine, mica chips in the granite making it look like someone had sneezed glitter all over the place. Traffic thundered across the junction to Rosemount Place, buses and taxis played chicken in the middle of the box junction.

Probably better waiting for the green man.

‘I can’t take-’

‘You could finally get the flat finished — move out of the caravan and back into an actual house.’

‘Thought you loved that caravan.’

The pedestrian crossing bleeped and Logan marched across, dodging his way through a gaggle of middle- aged men in suits bragging about how much they were going to drink tonight.

‘I do. But you’ve made it smell all fusty.’

‘Of course, you know what’ll happen if I’m an executor for his will, don’t you? I’ll be a target for anyone who thinks they deserve a slice of the Wee Hamish empire: drug dealers, thugs, loan sharks, protection racketeers, people traffickers, smugglers, pimps. .’

‘When was the last time you opened the curtains and let a bit of air in? ’

‘Reuben’s going to love that. He. .’ Logan screwed his face shut for a heartbeat. Bloody hell: that explained the random punch on the nose that morning. Reuben knew about the will. Brilliant. Thirty grand and a death sentence.

Right onto the cobbles of Diamond Street down the side of KFC, past the sandwich bar and the hairdresser’s.

‘Logan? ’

‘All right, all right, I’ll open the windows.’

‘And it wouldn’t hurt you to give the place a scrub as well. There’s a mouldy patch in the bathroom that’s beginning to look a bit like Shakespeare. I don’t want Shakespeare watching me in the shower, it’s perverse.’

‘He’s giving me power of attorney too. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? ’

‘Do I need to boo-hoo you again? ’

Left onto Lindsay Street, leaving the cobbles for a Frankenstein’s patchwork of tarmac and potholes.

‘You’re getting as bad as Steel.’

A pause. ‘You take that back, Logan McRae, or there’ll be no kinky bedtime fun for you ever again!’

Then right onto Golden Square. Tall granite buildings faced out onto what was the bastard child of a roundabout and a car park. Rows of cars ringed a wrought-iron fence with more of them on the inside, facing out. Then another row behind that, circling the statue in the middle. The handful of trees dotted around the place looked in need of a decent drink.

‘Logan, I’m warning you.’

‘All right, I take it back.’ Sigh. ‘And I’ll do something about the shower.’

‘That’s better. Now run along and see your lawyer, it’s nearly teatime here, and they’ve been boiling the cauliflower since last Thursday in my honour. Don’t want to miss that.’ Then she hung up on him.

The receptionist scowled up at him from behind her mahogany fortifications. The glasses balanced on the end of her nose had little wings on the top corners. They went with her purple cardigan. ‘Our office hours are nine to five. If you wish to make an appointment to see Mr Moir-Farquharson, I can-’

‘Is he in or not? ’

The smile looked forced, making tiny wrinkles around her narrowed eyes. She glanced sideways at a door on the far side of the room. ‘Mr Moir-Farquharson is with a client and isn’t to be. . Hey: you can’t go in there!’

Logan hauled the door open. ‘What the hell are you playing at? ’

Sunlight gilded the wood-panelled room, glinting off the bald head of a shaven gorilla in an expensive suit with ‘HATE’ tattooed on one set of knuckles and ‘PAIN’ on the other. Scars knitted their way over the back of his scalp, like cracks in an eggshell. He didn’t look around as Logan barged in, just sat there, silent as a slab of meat.

Sitting behind the wide oak desk, Hissing Sid sighed and closed his eyes — pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. ‘Mrs Jefferies!’

Logan shook a fistful of brown envelope at him. ‘Attempted bribery of a police officer is an offence under the Criminal Justice, Scotland-’

‘How many times do I have to tell you: it’s not a bribe.’

‘Don’t give me that shite!’ He hurled the envelope across the desk. It hit the lawyer on the chest and fell to the floor. ‘Think I don’t know a bribe when I see one? ’

The receptionist appeared at his elbow. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Moir-Farquharson, I told him you were with a client.’

The hulk of muscle in the suit sniffed, then hooked a thumb over his shoulder. His voice was a nasal Borders growl. ‘You want I should, you know, remove him from the premises, like? ’

Another sigh. Then Hissing Sid pushed his chair back, bent down and picked the envelope from the ground. ‘Will you excuse me for a couple of minutes, Mr Harris? I’m afraid DI McRae requires things to be explained to him slowly and with pictures wherever possible.’ He stood. ‘Mrs Jefferies, will you fetch Mr Harris a pot of tea? I’ll be in the conference room with our uncivilized visitor.’

Sandy Moir-Farquharson settled into a chair at the end of the long table, sitting with his back to the window. Sunshine cast dappled shadows on the cars parked around Golden Square, rippling gently as wind brushed through the leaves of the parched trees.

The lawyer placed the brown envelope on the table in front of him and smoothed it out with careful fingers. ‘DI McRae, I don’t appreciate you coming in here and making a nuisance of yourself when I’m with a client. Or any other time, come to that. If you wish to see me, you can make an appointment with Mrs Jefferies like everyone else.’

‘Thirty thousand pounds! And what the hell is this? ’ Logan dug out the power of attorney forms and slapped them down on the table. ‘Get it through your pointy little head, I am not for sale. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? ’