Close to the Bone

Steel hauled up her trousers. ‘What? I was being hospitable.’

‘No: you were being creepy.’

‘You say potato. .’ She turned and lumbered up the path towards her house. Chez Steel was a big granite pile on a quiet tree-lined road: bay windows on either side of a dark-red door; a garden full of rose bushes, the air thick with their scent and the hum of bees.

A knot of keys appeared from the depths of her jacket pocket, then she unlocked the door and beckoned Logan over. ‘Don’t just stand there — neighbours will think I’ve gone funny, bringing scruffy men home with black eyes.’

Logan scowled at her. ‘I’m not scruffy.’

‘You say tomato. .’

Cheeky sod, there was nothing wrong with his suit. OK, so he got it in the sales at Slaters for forty quid, but what was wrong with that? Couldn’t beat a machine-washable jacket and trousers when your job description included dealing with people likely to vomit all over you.

He tugged at his jacket lapel as he followed her over the threshold into a hallway hung with photographs of the family — Steel, Susan, and little Jasmine. Making sandcastles on a beach somewhere with palm trees, flying a kite in Duthie Park, eating sandwiches on Brimmond Hill, playing on the dodgems down the beach. . The row of coats hanging on the rack featured a bright-red duffle coat, a pair of tiny yellow wellington boots lined up beneath it.

What sounded like a dog eating a cactus, but was probably meant to be singing, oozed from somewhere down the hall — a TV tuned to some awful talent show.

Steel paused at the living-room door and stuck her head in. ‘Sooz? Laz is here. You want a drink? ’

Click — the noise from the TV died, and Susan appeared. At least ten years younger than Steel, she was the spitting image of a Cary-Grant-era Doris Day, only chunkier and with longer blonde hair, wearing a blue summer dress. She smiled, making little wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. ‘Hello, stranger, it’s been ages.’

He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. ‘You look great.’

‘Pfff. . I wish. Two and a half years and I still can’t shift the baby weight. You want to see Jasmine? She’s asleep, but you could peek in? ’

Steel grabbed a handful of Susan’s arse and jiggled it. ‘Don’t know what you’re worrying about. I like a woman with a bit of padding, just means there’s more of you to love. Now,’ she gave the handful a slap, ‘you show Laz upstairs and I’ll get the drinks in. .’

Jasmine lay flat on her back, arms and legs splayed out like a drunken starfish wearing stripy black-and-white pyjamas, little toes and fingers twitching as she snored.

Susan sighed, crept into the room, and pulled the blanket over her. Then came back to the doorway and put a hand on Logan’s arm, her voice a whisper. ‘It’s been so long, we were worried you didn’t want to see her.’

Great: guilt. ‘It’s just been a bit of a sod at work. And with Samantha and everything. .’

‘You know you’re always welcome here. You’re not just a donor, you’re a member of the family. And it’s good for Jasmine to see her dad from time to time.’

‘I know, I know. I’ll try harder. I promise.’

‘Good.’ Susan gave him a little hug. ‘Now let’s go get that drink.’

Steel added an obscenely hefty measure to her own glass, then put the bottle of whisky down on the breakfast bar. A couple of plates sat next to it, arranged with olives, cheese, slices of salami, and cured ham. She helped herself to a slice of prosciutto, stuffing it into her mouth, then chasing it down with a sip of Isle of Jura while Susan went off to fetch the crisps.

Logan rolled his tumbler from side to side between his hands. ‘Erm. .’ He cleared his throat. ‘You remember that money you inherited? ’

Steel sniffed. ‘If you’re looking for a sub, you’re out of luck. Every penny’s going on Jasmine’s school fees. Well, when she’s old enough.’

‘I didn’t-’

‘You got any idea how much these places charge? Three or four grand, aye, and that’s not a year, that’s every sodding term!’

He helped himself to a chunk of brie. ‘I’m not after a loan, I want to know how you. . you know, decided to take the cash? ’

‘Hrmmmph. .’ Steel narrowed her eyes. Then jerked a thumb at him as Susan came back from the pantry with a multipack of Monster Munch. ‘Sooz: the boy here wants to know why we took Desperate Doug’s cash. How come we didn’t tell his lawyers to sod off, then go round and piss on his grave? ’

Susan dug into the pack and came out with a bag of pickled onion. ‘We do that every year, on the anniversary of his death.’ She popped the bag open. ‘I was thoroughly ashamed the first time, but now we make a picnic of it, don’t we? ’

‘Which reminds me,’ Steel hopped down off her stool and crossed to the corner of the room, ‘time to empty Mr Rumpole’s litter tray.’

Logan had an olive while she grabbed hold of the plastic tray by the patio doors and shoogled it until dark poopy monsters rose from the deep. ‘You know what I mean: just because someone leaves you money in their will, it doesn’t mean you’ve got to take it. You hated-’

‘Desperate Doug MacDuff was a nasty, murdering, raping, wee shite.’ Steel scooped the lumps out with a plastic trowel and tipped them into the bin. ‘We took his cash so Jasmine could get a better education. The old bugger was dead, anyway.’ She opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a brass urn from between the Flash and Cillit BANG. Gave it a shake. Pursed her lips and frowned. ‘Think he’s beginning to run a bit low.’

Logan tried his whisky. Warm and dark. ‘So you don’t. . regret taking the money? ’

She unscrewed the lid from the urn, then dug a teaspoon into the opening. ‘He’s dead. Fuck him.’ Steel sprinkled the ashes onto the cat litter. Then she paused, and squinted at him. ‘Why the sudden interest? ’

A shrug. ‘I just. .’ Don’t tell her the truth! ‘I just wondered what I’d do if it was me.’

‘You can either take the money, or you can be a moaning big girl’s blouse. After what that rancid old bastard did, his debt to me’s never going to be paid off. At least this way we got something.’ She dumped the spoon in the dishwasher, then screwed the lid back on the final resting place of Desperate Doug MacDuff.

Logan peeled off his jacket and draped it over the end of the bed, hiding Samantha’s charts, then wriggled out of his tie. ‘It’s like a furnace in here.’

She pulled the duvet up under her arms and settled back into the pillows. ‘Don’t whinge. Did you bring it? ’

He leaned forward and dug in the jacket pocket, coming out with Chalmers’s carrier bag. The book went on the bedside cabinet, next to the bottles of Lucozade and tattoo magazines. ‘Chalmers gave me a copy of Witchfire in the pub. I thought she was coming on to me.’

‘Ha!’ Samantha’s voice fell to a featureless monotone: ‘That’s because you’re so damn sexy us women just can’t keep our hands off you. Ooh, you stud you. Etc.’

‘You can be a sarcastic sod at times, you know that, don’t you? ’ He went into the other carrier bag — the one stashed underneath his seat — and produced a tin of Stella. Still cold from the off-licence. The ring clicked off. ‘You want one? ’

‘Can’t. Medication.’

Fair enough. The beer fizzed and crackled its way down, cutting through the thin layer of grease left behind after the fish and chips. ‘Steel thinks I should take Wee Hamish’s money.’

Samantha tilted her head to one side and stared at him. ‘Have you put on weight? ’Cos you’re looking a bit chunkier than usual.’

‘You know, there are other women out there. Women who might appreciate a thoughtful boyfriend like me.’

‘Why are fat people always so touchy? ’ Samantha picked up the copy of Witchfire. ‘So? Are you going to take the cash? ’

‘I’m not fat. Steel says it doesn’t really matter where it comes from, what matters is what you do with it.’