'But why in a cave?' Jessie asked.
'There will be no fire tomorrow. We will want to be warm enough that we can sleep by day.'
''How can I help with whatever it is we're doing?'' She rose with a groan.
'Lean the shorter sticks against the low end of the log,' he said, even as he began placing the longer branches at the high end of the ridgepole near the tripod.
Each leaning piece of wood lay close to the next, just inches apart. Kier corrected Jessie a couple of times, then nodded his approval, and disappeared-only to return a few minutes later, dragging two small trees. Once again stripping the trunks, he cut them into short segments and lashed them and each of the smaller vertical pieces to the ridgepole. They had what looked like the upside-down keel and ribs of a crude boat. Kier finally wove some sticks horizontally through the vertical ribs.
When at last the skeleton seemed sturdy and complete, a giant pile of needled boughs remained. From this Kier made two beds, side by side. He put one blanket on each.
'Try it out,' he said.
She did, and he followed. Rolling toward her on his elbow, he studied her face in the firelight. He found himself thinking about one large bed. Without a doubt she wanted to tell him all over again how dumb it was to run into the wilderness, but instead she just shook her head.
'We might as well get used to each other.' He broke the silence. 'Say what's on your mind.'
'I think it's this overwhelming sense I get that you don't respect me.'
He allowed himself a puzzled frown, as his way of asking for more information.
'Well,' she began, as if he had actually spoken, 'there's the 'one man against the evil empire' mind-set that seems to be operating here. You know what I mean?'
'You want to go to the city, the government.'
''I want to work with people who can do something-people whose job it is to do something.'
Kier remained impassive.
'So what's wrong with that? If my horse were sick, I'd call you. If someone were breaking the law, I'd call the police.'
'This is different. First, we can't get to the city any time soon. Second, this is no normal crime. This is huge. You know that.'
'All the more reason-'
'The government could be involved,' he interrupted.
'Just what is it with you and the government?'
Kier rubbed his jaw and decided to tell her.
Chapter 12
The shadow that stalks you grew old when you were little.
'' It helps a man to know himself,'' Grandfather had explained as he removed things from his pack in the narrow beam of an old flashlight. He lit two torches, one at either end of the pool, then sat cross-legged on the flat stone next to the water's edge. In the dancing light of the torches, the place took on an eerie, magical quality.
At first Kier expected a story, but Grandfather simply asked him to look in the pool. The most respected leader of the Tiloks sat straight as an iron pipe, seemingly lost in thought. Kier studied the lines that already had begun to wishbone around his grandfather's mouth. From his face he could discern nothing of what was to come.
Kier could not see the bottom of the oval pool; shadows blackened its surface, hid its rocky bottom from sight. The darkened water's seamless mirror reflected the torches.
'Get closer,' Grandfather said, moving nearer the pool.
Kier did the same. At the edge, he found a perfect reflection.
'What do you see?'
'I see me.'
'Is yours a good face?'
Kier studied himself, realizing that he hadn't thought about it. A broad, squared-off chin gave him a look of strength, even at age thirteen. He supposed he liked his face. Perhaps his eyelids drooped slightly because he had secrets. He did things that were forbidden. Although his mother did not know, he slipped out even on school nights to go into the forest. He wondered if Grandfather suspected. Kier looked away from the pond, nervous. Perhaps such things couldn't be hidden from his grandfather. Everybody said he knew everything-never missed a thing in the woods. It was said that even crickets were safe when Grandfather walked by, so sure was he of every step he took.
''What do you see in your eyes?''
Kier fidgeted. Now he knew Grandfather could read his face as plainly as if he'd admitted to sneaking out at night. What they said was true. Grandfather was a Spirit Walker. Kier still said nothing, his heart starting to hammer in his chest. Words wouldn't come.
Grandfather waited. Kier's eyes returned to the pool. He tried not to think of the secrets. His body felt smaller. With hunched shoulders, he looked again at Grandfather, who appeared to have hardened to stone. Silence stretched before him like a desert road shimmering to the horizon.
He's thinking about me. He knows about the secrets and he's just waiting.
Could Grandfather know about the trips to Lotta's? She lived a little way into the forest in a cabin. Kier sometimes went there at night. Kier's face got hot. Usually he went exploring, looking for tracks. Occasionally though, he went to the cabin and watched Lotta's shadow against the shade as she brushed her hair.
When finally he looked up again, Grandfather's form seemed to reach the top of the cave. Something needed to be said, but he didn't know what to say. Tears wanted to spring from his eyes. With all his energy, he froze his countenance. To cry would be unthinkable.
'What is your fear?'' No longer did his grandfather's expression seem hard.
'I don't know… what makes me feel unhappy sometimes.'
After a moment, Grandfather spoke. 'So, tell me, if you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?'
That was easy. 'Father.'
'Tell me.'
'He left us and got killed.'
'And do you wonder why he left?'
'I don't know if I think about it.'
''Why do you think your father left?'' Grandfather persisted.
Kier felt his shoulders fall, a sort of shrug in response to the question. His mind wandered. He felt tired all of a sudden, as though he wanted to sleep.
'Do you think about why your father left?'
Kier let his mind drift. He just wanted to go home.
'Your father did not accidentally shoot himself, nor was he shot by the man who struggled with him. A government man killed him thinking he was someone else. Your father never really left you.'
Kier could not believe his ears. He knew his stinging eyes betrayed him.
'Your father was visiting friends in Arizona. When he walked out of your house, he intended to come back. He was just going away for a time, to think. The FBI was looking for an Indian man who looked something like your father. The man they were hunting had been in the house your father was visiting. When your father showed up, well… they had the wrong man.'
Kier felt sick. 'Why didn't someone tell me? How do you know he was coming back?'
'I talked to him after he left-'
