become, of everyone’s eyes on her. “I’m saying good-bye, Sam.”
Before he could say another word, before she could change her mind, she walked out of the room. Out of his life.
Chapter Thirty
It was as if someone had taken a vacuum and sucked all the light out of the apartment, all the air. Everywhere he looked he saw Rosie. If he sat in the living room, he remembered making love to her in front of the fireplace, of her standing naked in front of the window calling him Master. Of watching the football games, Rosie catcalling the umpires if they made a call she disagreed with, doing little dances when her beloved Jets scored a touchdown. How she’d stood in his arms in the kitchen, trembling with aftershocks after he’d made her come. Or even just the times they’d worked in a companionable silence making dinner.
And his own bedroom? He’d not find another night’s sleep in that bed.
Even the spare bedroom reminded him of when she’d lain beneath him that night he’d acted on impulse and admitted his attraction. He could still feel her writhing beneath his touch, still taste her sweet honey on his tongue, still hear her moans echoing in his chest.
He stared at the ring he’d placed on the coffee table. By keeping it, by wearing it, had he used it to keep Jill alive? Had he created his own personal albatross?
Yet taking it off had been like losing Jill all over again. As if he were to say he hadn’t loved her, that she didn’t matter. And that seemed wrong too.
The doorbell rang. Must be one of his neighbors since the front desk hadn’t called to announce any visitors.
He stayed where he was, letting the bell ring twice more. Whoever it was gave up on the bell and knocked on the door.
“Sam, I know you’re in there. Let me in, buddy.”
Mark. The traitor who had refused to release him until Rosie had disappeared from his life.
A key rattled in the lock and the door opened. “Sam?”
Shit, the bastard must have gotten the master key from the guard. So much for his own security people protecting him.
He rubbed his palm across his knuckles, the absence of the ring strange after all these years. “What do you want, Mark? Fixin’ to rub more salt in my wounds?”
“We were worried about you.”
“Kinda hard to tell considering what you did to me earlier. How you wrecked my life.”
“Can I turn on a light here, Sam? I can’t see worth shit in this dark.”
Before he could answer, Mark flicked on the overhead fixture, its light bouncing off the ring.
“Turn it off, goddamn it.”
The light flicked off, and a dark shadow appeared beside him. “You okay?”
“Rosie’s gone. I’ve lost her.” Thanks to Mark’s fucking interference. If Mark had let him down right away, he might have had a chance to catch Rosie before she left. And then he’d discovered Mark had agreed to the plan months before. The bastard had probably been sitting back there in Dallas laughing his fuckin’ ass off during all the conversations they’d had about Rosie. Now Mark would go home to his pregnant wife, while Sam had just lost the woman he loved. Again!
He surged from the couch, tackling Mark, pinning him face-down to the floor. “You made me lose her. If you hadn’t interfered, she’d be here now.”
Mark grunted, but didn’t struggle. “I’m sorry. We didn’t think she’d walk out like that. We thought you’d listen to reason and-”
“She left me! Because of you and Chad and Thalia, and your fucking quack psychology, I’ve lost Rosie.” Fight back, damn it. Fight so I can hit you. Hit me, hurt me so I can concentrate on something other than this god-awful pain in my chest.
“You’d already pushed her away, Sam. She was talking with Chad about transferring. We had to do something to get you to realize what you were doing.”
Sam tightened his grip, fighting the urge to pound Mark’s head into the floor. “I was trying to keep her safe. You would have done the same thing with Jodi if you thought she was in danger.”
“Yeah, I would have, you’re right.” Mark sucked in a breath. “We fucked up, all right? I admit it, everyone admits it. But when Thalia suggested her plan to get you two together, she just thought it was time you settled down. And after what you’d said to me about Jodi, I thought…” He exhaled in a long slow stream. “None of us realized that you were still mourning Jill. I didn’t mean for you to end up hurting again. I was trying to find a way to, I don’t know, thank you for forcing me to see how much I loved Jodi. And it was sort of funny too, to see the tables turned on you for once. I figured you’d end up hitched. None of us intended for it to turn out this way. We’re sorry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s too late for apologies, you fucking bastard. Rosie’s gone.” His voice caught in his throat.
“No, she’s not.”
“I went straight to her apartment once you let me go. Her neighbor said she’d come home but left ten minutes later with a suitcase. I’ve tried phoning her Berry, but she’s not answering, I’ve texted her. I’ve checked with her friends and either they don’t know or they’re not telling me. I even phoned her parents and they don’t know where she is.”
“I know where she is, Sam.”
Sam pushed his knee harder into Mark’s back, tightened his hold on his arms. “Where? Where is she? You tell me now, damn it!”
“Let me up first.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Sam rolled off of him and leaned against the couch. He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Where is she? And how do you know?”
“Andy drove her to the airport. She’s gone to visit her brother in Puerto Rico.”
“I have to go.” Now he had direction again, he jumped to his feet. “I’ve gotta arrange a flight. I’ve gotta find her, tell her I love her.”
“Sam.”
He picked up the phone. Shit, he didn’t know the number of the travel agent. Damn, it was after midnight, they’d be closed anyway. He’d have to phone the airline directly, book a seat himself. Ignoring Mark, he hurried into his study and grabbed the phone book.
“Sam,” Mark had followed him and now leaned against the doorframe, his thumbs hooked in his belt loops, “Rosie was pretty upset. She may not listen to you. She may not even want to see you. Not for a while yet. Maybe you should let her calm down for a couple days.”
He put the book down, willing the threatening panic away. “Don’t you see? I have to go after her, I have to try. I have to tell her I love her and I want to marry her and… I have to make her listen. If I have to get on my knees and beg, I will.”
Rosie pulled on her collar as the chilly December wind blew down Zerega Avenue, taking her breath away. When she reached the familiar white wrought-iron fence at the corner, she turned right.
She should have stayed in D.C., or at least used her ticket to Puerto Rico as she’d originally planned instead of running home to New York.
Her parents had sensed something was wrong when she’d arrived out of the blue. Her mother immediately started questioning her, but she wasn’t ready to talk about Sam. Not yet. So she’d come up with an excuse that she had a meeting at the Hauberk offices and booked it out of there first thing that morning.
Instead of going to the office, having to face Rick’s inquisition, of possibly having him phone Sam to find out why she was back in the city, she’d spent the day examining the Christmas displays in the shops. When the cold grew too much, she took refuge in the Guggenheim. But no matter where she went, no matter how hard she tried to pretend Sam didn’t exist, she couldn’t convince herself that the constant ache in her chest was jet lag.
